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Rohini’s Blog

It Is Possible to Go From Super Sensitive to Anti-fragile in a Relationship

My husband and I have been married for 23 years. Our relationship began with a love at first sight moment with all of the fireworks and giddiness that go along with that experience. I've heard one of my teachers, Ron Hulnick, say many times, when that happens, run in the opposite direction. However, having the optimism and insight of a 24-year-old, I ran straight into the flame.   The laws of gravity seem to apply to relationships as well. What goes up must come down. My husband and I have experienced tremendous highs and lows in our relationship. There aren’t many challenges...

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Frontline Challenges and Opportunities of Parenting a Teen

You might ask yourself, how relevant are spiritual principles when you get a call from your teenage daughter at 3 am on a Sunday morning, when you think she is safely tucked away in her bed? A spiritual understanding of reality may not be the first thing that occurs to you as you get dressed to pick her up from the parking lot of a local church where she is waiting with two police officers and several of her friends. The essence of her formless nature may not feel that present as you hear she has a curfew violation, and...

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You Are Not a Fixer Upper — You Are Perfect Exactly as You Are!

Quite a long time ago, while visiting Japan I was graciously served tea from a bowl that had once been broken. Its cracks had been repaired with gold. I was struck by the beauty of an accepted and accentuated imperfection, one with no attempt to cover-up damage or disappear history. — Barbara Bloom  I am writing from a personal point of view, but my intention is to point to the impersonal and not be self-indulgent. I remember watching American Idol and hearing Simon Cowell give singers feedback they were self-indulgent. Then other singers would be praised because their performances were transcendent....

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You Can Wake Up From the Illusion of Your Insecurities

“Why are you unhappy? Because 99.9 percent of everything you think, and of everything you do, is for yourself — and there isn’t one.“ — Wei Wu Wei  There are times when self-worth is not an issue for me. I don’t think about it. I confidently do whatever I need to do. I feel self-assured. These times I am not thinking about myself. I am doing, serving, being, enjoying the moment. Other times I feel filled with insecurity and feelings of unworthiness. At these times, I become self-focused and see all of the things I don’t like about myself. I can...

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How I Let Go of Financial Stress and Found Peace of Mind

I belong to a Mastermind Group where we rotate the opportunity for each member to take a deep dive and receive support and feedback from the group meeting to meeting. It was my turn, and I shared I was feeling overwhelmed with being the main financial provider for my family. My husband recently left his full-time job to join forces with me in my consulting practice. This is absolutely the right move for us, and our family, but I was feeling under pressure.   As a result of sharing my fears out loud, my thinking settled. I began to see more clearly....

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Use Shame as a Compass to Steer Clear of Limiting Beliefs

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. — Anaïs Nin  I had an experience of shame recently. The belly dropping, sinking feeling, burning in the solar plexus kind of shame. I noticed how visceral the experience was. After it happened, I saw how the thinking that initiated my emotional response had been outside of my conscious awareness. It happened so fast. All of a sudden the feeling was present.   In the past, I would have reacted to my shame. I would have used my emotional experience...

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Breaking Free From the Tyranny of My Inner Critic

I was bullied in middle school. I didn’t know how to stand up for myself. My mother told me to turn the other cheek. I did my best to ignore the bullying, but I still hurt. I remember a friend coming home with me from school on the bus. She was shocked at the taunting and name calling thrown at me. I felt I should do something. I felt I was weak. I felt something was wrong with me for not standing up for myself. That is partly why writing feels so good. I am no longer hiding. I am...

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Let Go of Low Self-Esteem and Insecurity

One of the things that put me off writing in the past was the blank page. I didn’t know what to write. I didn’t trust that something, anything, would come forward. And if it did, I didn’t trust that what I wrote would be good enough. I felt I would be faced with my unworthiness, lack of competence, and impotence — my nothingness. What I didn’t understand was that nothing is not the same as unworthy. I didn’t know that not knowing is actually a transformative experience, not something to avoid. I now see that not knowing is not to...

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Experience Greater Resilience — Take Managing Your Moods Off Your To-Do List

It is easy to get attached to the feeling of a good mood. It is understandable to want try to hold on to a good feeling or try to recreate it. Self-help and mainstream psychology focus on teaching techniques to help us control and manipulate our moods so we feel good. They create an illusion of vulnerability by teaching us something is wrong when we are in a low mood, and we should try to change it.   The challenge is, we are not capable of controlling our moods. It is impossible to never have a low mood. Fluctuation of mood is...

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Do Not Underestimate the Power of a Peaceful Mind

My crazy needs to get bigger than my sane, or more accurately put, I need to get better at distinguishing between my crazy and my sane thoughts. My self-doubt can look so rational and logical. I am getting better at ignoring the noisy thoughts of self-doubt so I can more fully embrace the calling of my heart. The voice that asks, “Are you delusional? Have you lost your mind?” That is the voice I need to ignore so I can hear my inner wisdom.   I do have grandiose ideas. Some might, even I might at times, say they are delusional. I...

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