Blog Archives | Rohini Ross - Part 4
 

Blog Archives

The Ego Doesn’t Know When to Stop

Angus points to how easy it is to get sucked in the ego’s desire for more. From the personal view, there is never enough. The ego keeps looking for the pot of gold thinking just one more thing and then I will feel better. It is easy to get caught up in this pattern. Rohini had a sore back and wasn’t feeling well earlier in the week. She recognized how she got enamored with her intellect and forgot to listen to her deeper wisdom that was telling her to relax and slow down. In addition to the constellation of thoughts...

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Rewilding Your Relationship: Love is Your Natural State

If you missed the first two parts of this series you can read them by clicking here: Rewilding Your Relationship Even if You Feel, Discouraged, Disheartened or Desperate Part 1 Make Room For Humanness Part 2   Part 3 Love is Your Natural State   We tend to be attracted to people who will push our buttons. It feels like the innate intelligence behind life knows exactly who we need to be with in order to help us wake up in consciousness. Often at the beginning of a romantic relationship, there is a period of time when all we see is the good in our partner....

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Rewilding Your Relationship: Make Room for Humanness

To read Part 1 click here.   Part 2   Make Room for Humanness   No one is perfect. We all have our frailties. A rewilded relationship has room for the whole person. It does not require efforts to tame ourselves or our partner. We have become a self-help addicted society constantly focusing on self-improvement thinking that will get us to the holy grail of happiness. But focusing on trying to improve what is not working and what isn’t good enough has us miss the beauty and goodness of what is present.    As with part 1, start with yourself here too.   Can you see that any efforts...

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Navigating Defensiveness In Relationships

Defensiveness is a common occurrence in relationships when one person takes another person's behavior personally. Angus and Rohini had a recent experience where Rohini was angry and Angus got defensive. In the past, this would have resulted in a downward spiral of conflict that could have lasted for days. Instead, it lasted for about ten minutes. The difference this time was Angus was able to witness himself being pulled in two directions. He saw one train of thought telling him to protect himself and remain defensive and another train of thought that was compassionate. The compassionate train won and he was able to see Rohini...

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Rewilding Your Relationship — Even if You are Feeling Discouraged, Disheartened, or Desperate

Part 1   Start with yourself!   Angus and I work with many couples who are in committed relationships that have lost their spark. It is often described as living like roommates or having a business relationship. Sometimes these couples have very little conflict in their relationship, but they feel like they are coexisting. Other times there is high conflict at times that leads to polarization and periods of distance. Believe it or not, conflict is an attempt to connect and experience intimacy. These couples actually feel more hope than the couples that no longer have conflict in their relationship. They are still willing...

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The Secret Sauce For Relationships

Heartfelt apologies and being able to make up after conflict is the secret sauce that makes relationships resilient and increases intimacy and goodwill. Even though Angus and Rohini were naturally inclined to get over things and move on, Rohini couldn't help herself and brought yet another technique into their relationship. This did not foster goodwill and felt inauthentic. For the secret sauce to work it needs to be genuine and heartfelt.   Angus & Rohini Ross are "the Rewilders." They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships by pointing them to their innate wisdom...

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Your Beautiful Self

I actively work against my desire to present only my best self. I resist the urge to using my writing to only show the parts of me I like. I forget who I am and have inclinations to try and feel worthy and good enough by seeing myself as better than and special. My need to look good and be the best, or at least better than, is still lurking in my consciousness. And I judge this harshly.   I don’t like that I feel queasy when I bare my soul and allow myself to be seen. I wish I had more...

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Emotional Safety & Honesty In Relationships

I learned the hard way that emotional safety is what allows for open, honest, authentic communication in relationships. At the beginning of our relationship, my rigidity and judgment did not create the fertile ground for Angus to talk about his struggle with drugs. Rather than this increasing intimacy, it created a wall between us. Honesty flourishes in the container of love and compassion where each person can be fully heard and understood even when there isn't agreement. From this place of understanding, polarization dissolves, and hopefulness and possibility can bloom. Fortunately, we got better at this over the years. We...

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Lessons Learned From the Elusive Big “O”

This post references sexuality and female orgasms. If you are sensitive to these topics, please give this one a miss.   There are some things in life where it is obvious that willpower is not going to get you there. Having an orgasm is one of them. There was a period of time when I was going through the changes associated with menopause that orgasms became more elusive, and for part of that time nonexistent. This was disconcerting, but I learned to enjoy the valley orgasm of sensual pleasure and focus on slowing down, letting go of the goal of reaching a...

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What’s Wrong With Soul-Gazing Before Sex?

Rohini admits to trying to use techniques and strategies to try and improve her relationship with Angus. Angus reveals his least favorite technique she attempted to implement. Eventually, Rohini realized she was trying to use all of the techniques and strategies to try and change Angus because she thought if he were different she would feel safer and more loved. What was really missing was a deeper connection with her true nature of love and wellbeing. When Rohini experienced a deeper connection with her essential nature, she no longer needed to change Angus to feel better, and Angus was given...

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