Low Mood | Rohini Ross

My Partner is Driving Me Crazy

My partner is driving me more crazy than usual. This topic has been coming up in Rohini’s coaching conversations. It is something we can both relate to. What we recognize for ourselves is that this is not a reflection of the other person’s behavior, but a reflection of our state of mind. Angus uses the example of my picking my cuticles to illustrate this point. When he is in a low mood it drives him crazy. When he is in a good mood it doesn’t bother him. We share this as a reminder and an invitation to you to look...

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A Solution To Loneliness

I read this article in January long before the pandemic set in, "Most Americans Are Lonely, And Our Workplace Culture May Not Be Helping." The article cites a report from the health insurer Cigna that found that three in five Americans are lonely, a nearly 13% rise since 2018. A professor at the University of Utah who studies relationships and health says pervasive loneliness has widespread effects and is linked to mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. But the impacts don't end with mental health. He says, "Evidence is really pointing to the fact that relationships — the...

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Relationship Crisis or Wake Up Call?

Life has its way of giving us feedback and letting us know when we are going in a painful direction. The feedback shows up in many forms. One of the forms is a relationship crisis. Unfortunately, however, often when this occurs rather than this being seen as an awakening process, it is perceived as a relationship issue. The solution then looks like it is about fixing or improving the relationship or getting a new relationship rather than looking to the inner opportunity for growth. I have certainly fallen into this category.   The crisis is not a commentary on the relationship. It...

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Don’t Trust Your Low Mood Thoughts

We have been fighting a bug in our household that has impacted our state of mind. I woke up in a panic attack this morning. One of our daughters was freaking out yesterday, and Angus entered the darkness last weekend. Fortunately, we are all coming out the other side of it, and it has been helpful when we have remembered to not take our low mood thinking or the other person's low mood thinking seriously in the process. Hopefully, you find our experience helpful to you.   Here are the links I mentioned: 3PGC Online Conference that is happening this weekend https://3pgc.org/2020-online-conference/   Dr. Amy Johnson's...

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Remember This The Next Time You Are Upset

I no longer have a personal prayer. I have the prayer of aligning with that which is -- the impersonal flow of the divine that starts beyond space and time. We live in the experience of the illusion, and we forget about the divine. The clouds of thought disguise who we really are. As Hafiz so beautifully wrote:   You are God hiding from yourself. Remove all the “mine” -- that is the veil. … You are God in Drag!   Waking up to this is the direction I want to look in.   Not only are we God hiding from ourselves, but we also become attached to the hiding.   We...

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You Can’t Shout Someone Into Wellbeing

Angus and I have been moody buggers this week!   We are sharing our experience of losing the plot and finding our way again as a means to normalize the experience and to point to the temporary nature of this kind of experience.   This week for whatever reason we got gripped. It all started over soup. I was working late and Angus kindly made us soup for dinner. All good, until I didn’t like the soup and didn’t want to eat it. I am not usually a picky eater, but for some reason, the texture of the soup turned my stomach.   Angus took this...

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Dealing With Children’s Low Moods

If you have difficulty with your child’s low moods, it can be really helpful to recognize that the difficulty you experience is a reflection of your own state of mind. Seeing this helps you to remember to take care of yourself. It also helps wake you up to what direction you are looking in. Are you looking in the direction of your true nature or are you looking in the direction of your ego’s stories and judgments?   One direction leads you to more suffering through the experience of separation, and one leads you back home to wellbeing. It is also much...

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Look Toward Wellbeing When Your Laundry List of Woes Grabs You

When you get caught up in your laundry list of woes about your partner, see if you can remember that trying to improve your relationship by reviewing the list will only create more suffering. What you are really looking for is an inner experience of being connected with who you are. If you remember this, it helps you to get unglued from all of the complaints that come to mind when you are upset and points you back to your natural state. It helps you to drop out of your head so you can fall back into your heart and...

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Do You Have A Problem With Your Partner’s Low Moods

A big SHOUT OUT to Dr. Amy Johnson who has two free webinars coming up and her Little School of Big Change is launching soon. I've included the links below.   Now for Angus and me, one of the most common themes that comes up when we work with the couples is one or both of them not liking each other's behavior when they are in a low mood and thinking their partner needs to change in order for them to be happy.   Relationships are so much easier when we understand our partner's low mood behavior is not personal, and if we are...

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I Can Be A Bitch by Julieanne Chazotte

This week's guest blog post is written by my apprentice Julieanne Chazotte. I love how Julie embraces her humanness and finds freedom in letting go of self-judgments. Her invitation is for us all to see that our human foibles cannot and do not mean anything about us. And in the letting go of pressure on ourselves to be better, the resulting internal freedom naturally allows us to show up in more loving and compassionate ways.   Over the past few weeks my husband, Dror, and I have been going through an IVF process. This is a costly intervention with a lot of...

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