Navigating Irreconcilable Differences. Why Bother Trying?

Angus and I have been hearing from people who are implementing the guidance we share in our Rewilding Love podcast and experiencing shifts in their relationships. One of the reviews said the approach is working like magic. We have also heard how the issues we discuss such as trying to change your partner or navigating anger feel like we are speaking directly to the listener. This shows how universal relationship challenges are. But one of the pieces of feedback that stood out to me was about how dire the relationship in the podcast sounds. And the question was, "Wouldn’t it...

Read More

Time to Heal

Saturday morning Angus and I were pottering around. I had a supervision call with participants in my Rewilding Guide and after we were going meet up with the couple we were doing an intensive with. We were making tea and taking care of the pets. Angus turned on CNN. The previous night when we were watching we heard the announcement “LIVE ELECTION UPDATE” several times and were told information like 30 votes have come in from a county in Pennsylvania or Georgia. So when Wolf Blitzer announced another election update at 8:30 am neither one of us was particularly excited....

Read More

Healthy Relationships and Conflict

We used to think that conflict was bad and that it meant there was something wrong with our relationship. This put pressure on us to try and improve ourselves and improve our relationship. All this did was make us more tense and it had us focus on what was wrong rather than appreciate and be grateful for what we did have. Now we see that it is okay if our relationship has conflict from time to time. It is not the end of the world. It doesn't mean anything about us or our relationship. What is more important is that...

Read More

Insecurity and Relationship Conflict

Angus and I noticed a pattern earlier in our relationship where when one of us was nervous we were more likely to get into conflict. This week we passed an invisible test when that didn't happen even though I had been feeling nervous. What was different was I was better able to tolerate my feelings of insecurity and be comfortable in the discomfort. In the past, as a way to try and avoid the experience of insecurity, one of us would turn to blame and make the other person responsible for our feelings in a misguided attempt to try and...

Read More

How to Navigate Conflict in Relationships

It is easy to get discouraged in the face of conflict. Couples often believe that conflict means they are incompatible. However, the issues that are the content of the conflict are often easily resolved when each person is in an open-hearted and relaxed frame of mind. The challenge with conflict then is not usually the issue. It is with how attached we can become to defending our position and how unwilling we can be to really seek to understand our partner.   Angus & Rohini Ross are "the Rewilders." They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord...

Read More

Anxiety and Conflict

Angus was very attached to his mattress. It took Rohini ages to convince him to get a new one. However, when Angus was putting the new bed together he found himself getting reactive because he thought the new mattress was no better than a horse mat. Some harsh words were exchanged, but once the mattress had expanded, and Angus and Rohini had stabilized, Angus realized the ego is like a hoarder. It wants to hoard whatever feels familiar because it feels anxious about the unknown. Fortunately, understanding this makes it easier to ignore the ego's hoarding mentality and to have...

Read More

Spiritual Activism

Are you curious about how you can become a Spiritual Activist? Then watch Del Adey-Jones's Insightful Conversations with Ami Chen Mills-Naim and Rohini Ross. The topic of conversation was Spiritual Activism. A subject Del has wanted to address for quite some time now, due to the increasingly tumultuous times we are facing here in the US.   Angus & Rohini Ross are "the Rewilders." They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships by pointing them to their innate wisdom and understanding. They work with couples who are struggling and couples who would like to...

Read More

Self-Judgment and Hot Button Topics

Hot button topics usually result in conflict when they are discussed. Anger is often used to deflect away from the subject. Finances used to be a hot button topic for us. Angus shares how his self-judgment and ensuing shame made it very difficult to discuss in a reasonable way. And Rohini would usually take Angus's anger personally. The antidote was for us to be vulnerable with each other and so we really understand each other's experiences. And when we weren't able to do that to see each other's psychological innocence, knowing we were each doing the best we could.   Angus &...

Read More

Emotional Intimacy

The ability to experience emotional intimacy in a relationship is a reflection of one's capacity to be open one's own emotional experience. Angus points out that often when we are seeking greater emotional intimacy with someone else it is a misguided attempt to fill the painful void of feeling separate from one's spiritual nature. Relationships are not designed to fill that void and they suffer when unrealistic expectations are placed on them to do so.   Angus & Rohini Ross are "the Rewilders." They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships by pointing them...

Read More

Avoiding Resentment

Resentment nearly destroyed our marriage. Lessons learned are to have the willingness and courage to maintain open and honest communication and to not make assumptions about where that communication will take you. In your vulnerability, you open up to the power of your impersonal nature so your wisdom can guide you beyond the fears of the intellect. This is the realm of possibility and hopefulness. Learning, growth, and change are always possible.   Angus & Rohini Ross are "the Rewilders." They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships by pointing them to their innate...

Read More