Conflict | Rohini Ross

How to Stop Unresolved Trauma from Derailing Your Relationship

Enjoy our latest vlog! [embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TiVXdkcAYOM[/embed]   Trauma has no expiration date - it can manifest in surprising ways, especially in relationships. Our latest vlog explores how unresolved issues can cause communication breakdowns. Watch as we share an example from our lives and delve into the internal experiences that can trigger these reactions. Let us know what you think - have you experienced anything similar? Have you ever experienced unresolved trauma impacting your relationships?   We'd love to hear from you in the comments. And don't forget to subscribe to our newsletter below so you never miss an episode of our vlog. Thank you for watching!   Originally...

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Judgements Help Reveal Our Blind Spots

Enjoy our latest vlog!   If we can remain open to our experience, we can learn a great deal about our blind spots and how to heal. In this month's vlog, Rohini shares an example of when she felt disrespected, undervalued, and overburdened by Angus. However, upon reflection, she realized her upset was not caused by Angus's request. Her lack of neutrality reflected her own judgments and how she relates to herself. This was a blind spot for her. By taking a moment to experience her feelings rather than react from them, Rohini held space for herself emotionally and was then able...

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The Easy Recipe for Addressing Relationship Challenges

Spiritual teachings suggest that we are all beautiful, unique expressions of one source of life force. Each of us is an emanation of that divine light. That essence cannot be understood but is felt and recognized by qualities such as love, joy, peace, and well-being. This essence is not unique to us, but we all have a unique experience of that essence.   We each live in our separate reality. Each of us living in unique experiences can be challenging for intimate relationships, but recognizing that we are expressions of the same being makes compassion easier to find.   Botanist and citizen of the...

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Is Remembering Mortality Helpful in Relationships?

In a recent Rewilders' Community webinar, we were asked to speak on death. We had a poignant conversation with many sharing their experiences related to death, grief, near-death experiences, and the lessons learned. It made me think of the Latin phrase Memento Mori, which means to "remember that you must die." This phrase is not meant to be depressing but intended to illuminate and inspire one to live life fully in this moment. Memento Mori might seem like a depressing theme to use as inspiration for a relationship post, but I find it refreshing and practical.   Recently when Angus and I returned...

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Code Red in Relationships

Empathy is being able to understand what someone else is feeling or being able to see a situation from another person's point of view. The capacity to have empathy for another is essential for the success of intimate relationships. This is an obvious statement, but it is easier said than done.   When moods drop, and mental and emotional bandwidths shrink, empathy is hard to come by.   Humans tend to make assumptions and not realize they are doing so. We live in separate realities created through the filter of our thought systems and don't realize how far apart the way we see things...

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Navigating Irreconcilable Differences. Why Bother Trying?

Angus and I have been hearing from people who are implementing the guidance we share in our Rewilding Love podcast and experiencing shifts in their relationships. One of the reviews said the approach is working like magic. We have also heard how the issues we discuss such as trying to change your partner or navigating anger feel like we are speaking directly to the listener. This shows how universal relationship challenges are. But one of the pieces of feedback that stood out to me was about how dire the relationship in the podcast sounds. And the question was, "Wouldn’t it...

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Time to Heal

Saturday morning Angus and I were pottering around. I had a supervision call with participants in my Rewilding Guide and after we were going meet up with the couple we were doing an intensive with. We were making tea and taking care of the pets. Angus turned on CNN. The previous night when we were watching we heard the announcement “LIVE ELECTION UPDATE” several times and were told information like 30 votes have come in from a county in Pennsylvania or Georgia. So when Wolf Blitzer announced another election update at 8:30 am neither one of us was particularly excited....

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Healthy Relationships and Conflict

We used to think that conflict was bad and that it meant there was something wrong with our relationship. This put pressure on us to try and improve ourselves and improve our relationship. All this did was make us more tense and it had us focus on what was wrong rather than appreciate and be grateful for what we did have. Now we see that it is okay if our relationship has conflict from time to time. It is not the end of the world. It doesn't mean anything about us or our relationship. What is more important is that...

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Insecurity and Relationship Conflict

Angus and I noticed a pattern earlier in our relationship where when one of us was nervous we were more likely to get into conflict. This week we passed an invisible test when that didn't happen even though I had been feeling nervous. What was different was I was better able to tolerate my feelings of insecurity and be comfortable in the discomfort. In the past, as a way to try and avoid the experience of insecurity, one of us would turn to blame and make the other person responsible for our feelings in a misguided attempt to try and...

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How to Navigate Conflict in Relationships

It is easy to get discouraged in the face of conflict. Couples often believe that conflict means they are incompatible. However, the issues that are the content of the conflict are often easily resolved when each person is in an open-hearted and relaxed frame of mind. The challenge with conflict then is not usually the issue. It is with how attached we can become to defending our position and how unwilling we can be to really seek to understand our partner.   Angus & Rohini Ross are "the Rewilders." They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord...

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