Wisdom | Rohini Ross

Anxiety and Conflict

Angus was very attached to his mattress. It took Rohini ages to convince him to get a new one. However, when Angus was putting the new bed together he found himself getting reactive because he thought the new mattress was no better than a horse mat. Some harsh words were exchanged, but once the mattress had expanded, and Angus and Rohini had stabilized, Angus realized the ego is like a hoarder. It wants to hoard whatever feels familiar because it feels anxious about the unknown. Fortunately, understanding this makes it easier to ignore the ego's hoarding mentality and to have...

Read More

Beating the Algorithm of Anxiety

Angus was introduced to Tik Tok by his daughters and discovered a new metaphor through indulging in his guilty pleasure. Having his feed overrun by fishing videos, helped him see he needed to ignore them in order to shift the algorithm. The same is true for your anxious thoughts. When you don't identify with them, they naturally dissipate. What helps is recognizing the capacity you have to leave your thoughts alone. You already do this naturally. It is not a new skill to learn. It is simply a recognition that you can ignore compelling thoughts just like you ignore other...

Read More

All Fear is Fear of the Unknown

Angus shares that worry is what we do when we get scared of the unknown, and we try to control our experience through worrying. Rohini points to how we use worry to get out of uncomfortable feelings thinking that we can think our way out of them. Of course, that never works and we end up feeling worse. What is important to remember is that we don't need to run from our experience or try to change it -- not even worry. We can simply be with it. It is only a small part of who we are. It does not define us. And,...

Read More

Inner Peace and Psychology Don’t Mix

I am trained and licensed as a Marriage and Family therapist. I love serving people and supporting them with suffering less and loving more. I entered the field of psychology because it looked like the best way to go about helping people. You can understand then why it would be disconcerting when I came across an understanding that revealed to me that the solution to suffering is not actually found within the scope of the discipline of psychology that studies thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.   The very thing I learned about to help people actually does not have the answers in it.   After...

Read More

Re-Wilding You — You and Your Relationships Will Flourish

Re-wilding is a term used in environmental circles to refer to bringing a location back to its natural state of health and vitality. Re-wilding, however, doesn’t just apply to our environment. We can re-wild societies, businesses, families, couples, and even individuals. They all benefits from coming back to their natural state of wild.   The term wild is often misunderstood. It has become associated with meaning something extreme and violent like when nature is seen as scary and dangerous. The wild is demonized and seen as out of control and crazy. It is also associated with promiscuity like the way wild is...

Read More

Microdosing Truth

Angus comes up with a wacky metaphor of how we are all microdosing on truth whether we realize it or not. AND we all have the opportunity to choose to look within to truth and see what gets revealed to us. It is so easy to get preoccupied with having more experiences of pleasure and fewer experiences of pain that we don't realize there is another option altogether that is to step outside of the cycle. Without even changing it, stepping outside and having perspective on it gives us more peace and freedom. There is nothing wrong with our humanness...

Read More

Looking Toward Your True Nature For No Good Reason

I’m sitting on our sage living room couch that has seen better days, but with two teenagers still living at home, I am going to hold off on getting a new one. The spills and stains that show up after friends’ visits or the occasional party don’t bother me that way. My legs are stretched out on the chaise lounge portion of the sofa. I had to look that word up. I thought it was chaise long, but I stand corrected. Our cat Twilight named by our girls when they were younger after the dusky color of the sky before...

Read More

Just Hanging Out and Pointing: Your Wisdom Leads the Way!

I was speaking with Elsie Spittle this week in preparation for her weekend in the Soul-Centered Series and was sharing how rewarding it is to see people light up with an insight. She described it as soul-food. I love this description and feel so grateful for the work I do.   What struck me as I was speaking with clients this week is seeing the simplicity of people having fresh thoughts. Even when you think you are stuck and can’t have an insight that is just a made up. It is not the truth of who you are. When you look in...

Read More

My Most Shameful Experience Pointed Me Toward Freedom

As preparation for the Soul-Centered Series free webinar with Jack Pransky, I read his latest book Seduced by Consciousness. I really enjoyed the first book I read of his, Somebody Should Have Told Us and was not disappointed with this one. In the book, Jack shares his insights into relationships. And it reminded me of a very painful learning curve I experienced in my marriage.   In the early days of being married to Angus, I would occasionally find myself attracted to another man. It would never be intentional. It would just happen and then it would pass. I would get over...

Read More

Freedom from Suffering

As soon as I feel the internal pressure to be special or better than, I know I am feeling the opposite -- not special, not good enough. Feelings of unworthiness can be so painful, and there are so many ways to try and escape these feelings. Trying to prove our worthiness by being better than. Numbing out from the pain by using coping mechanisms.   Psychology tells us the problem is an issue that needs to be resolved, but there is no gold to be mined there only an infinite amount of issues that will need fixing. Instead, less suffering is the...

Read More