Shame Begone

When I was in high school I went on a field trip to an International High School that was a boarding school near the village where I lived. Students attended the high school from all over the world. As part of the field trip, the students from my school played a game.   We were divided into teams and given different roles to play within the world order. There were country leaders, national advisers, and spies. I was the leader of a first-world nation with the highest GDP. It was obviously meant to represent the U.S. One of my closest friends who...

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I Am Human

I am human, a fallen angel. The musings of my imagination create fantastical scenarios that are so pleasing but never arrive. The delights and pleasures I was expecting seem to elude me. I am sorely disappointed with this lifetime. I am the disappointment of a lifetime. I am a failure in my eyes. I am a failure in God’s. eyes. I never to measure up.   Throw expectations out the window, hopes, and dreams with them like the baby and bathwater. I’m not the apple of my eye. The satisfaction never to be fulfilled is disappointing, but that is what I have to...

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Holding A Compassionate Space For Anger

Anger can be incredibly painful and difficult to navigate in relationships. Angus and I have had our fair share of challenges with this in the past. It is often difficult to talk about because of the shame associated with reactive behaviors. Unfortunately, shame makes us resist our feelings so it is harder for them to disperse and more difficult to gain perspective within ourselves. Shame also makes it much less likely for us to reach out for support when it is needed most.   The only act of physical violence in my marriage was committed by me. This happened about sixteen years...

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Messy, Awkward, and Emotional — That is Spiritual Too

Over the past several weeks, my discomfort with upsetting people has required me to look inward and dig more deeply for my own inner guidance and wisdom than I have had to do in a while. I know my uncomfortable emotions are a sign of reactivity letting me know I am identifying with my ego. I have been on the learning curve of not taking other people’s upset with me personally. The upset has not only been coming from reactions to my blog posts, although it has been particularly disconcerting to be on the receiving end of racist feedback, but...

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