Emotional Intimacy

The ability to experience emotional intimacy in a relationship is a reflection of one's capacity to be open one's own emotional experience. Angus points out that often when we are seeking greater emotional intimacy with someone else it is a misguided attempt to fill the painful void of feeling separate from one's spiritual nature. Relationships are not designed to fill that void and they suffer when unrealistic expectations are placed on them to do so.   Angus & Rohini Ross are "the Rewilders." They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships by pointing them...

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What’s Wrong With Soul-Gazing Before Sex?

Rohini admits to trying to use techniques and strategies to try and improve her relationship with Angus. Angus reveals his least favorite technique she attempted to implement. Eventually, Rohini realized she was trying to use all of the techniques and strategies to try and change Angus because she thought if he were different she would feel safer and more loved. What was really missing was a deeper connection with her true nature of love and wellbeing. When Rohini experienced a deeper connection with her essential nature, she no longer needed to change Angus to feel better, and Angus was given...

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Mixed Marriage: Neurotypical & Neurodiverse

We all have learned conditioning that we see the present moment through. Angus is having flashbacks to his painful days of tutoring when we work on our podcast. This led to him having a meltdown last week. This was an important reminder for both of us to respect the neurodiversity in our relationship and find ways to understand and support each other rather than trying to make one size fit all. And it is actually Angus that puts the pressure on himself to conform rather than respect what his needs are because he was told so many times that he...

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Resolving Struggles Over Household Chores

We have separate realities around household chores. Angus is "visually sensitive." Rohini likes to leave things out as a reminder to do them. Angus feels like the kitchen sometimes looks like a Salvador Dali nightmare and would rather it be more in the theme of a Renoir. Add teenagers into the mix and feelings around household chores can run high. What we have found helpful to remember is, if you are in a low mood, do not take your thinking seriously. Instead, put the oxygen mask on yourself first.   We do our best not to engage in problem-solving from a low...

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The Game of Taking Things Personally

It is so much easier to not take things personally with someone you aren't close to. The lack of a close relationship helps you to keep your perspective and not make it about you. However, with people that you are close with, it can be hard to see the big picture and not feel hurt by their behavior even over insignificant things like dishes left in the sink. Angus uses a video game metaphor to point to what helps to have more inner stability. When you realize you are the gamer and not the game, it is easier to be...

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My Partner is Driving Me Crazy

My partner is driving me more crazy than usual. This topic has been coming up in Rohini’s coaching conversations. It is something we can both relate to. What we recognize for ourselves is that this is not a reflection of the other person’s behavior, but a reflection of our state of mind. Angus uses the example of my picking my cuticles to illustrate this point. When he is in a low mood it drives him crazy. When he is in a good mood it doesn’t bother him. We share this as a reminder and an invitation to you to look...

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Untamed: A Podcast About Relationships

Enjoy a sneak preview of our upcoming podcast where Angus and I spend an entire season sharing our journey guiding an anonymous, real couple toward their true natures so they can decide what to do regarding their marriage that is on the brink of divorce.   Angus & Rohini Ross are "the Rewilders." They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships by pointing them to their innate wisdom and understanding. They work with couples who are struggling and couples who would like to deepen the love and intimacy they already have. They co-facilitate individualized couples...

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Anger and Taking Things Personally

Angus has a hard start to the day so he wanted a bit of a do-over when answering a question about taking things personally. Rohini can't keep a straight face when he talks about climbing El Capitan without "cling-ons." We hope the take away is that when we take things personally and our feelings get hurt, remember that is a reflection of your state of mind in the moment. Even if you have done something wrong, the feedback doesn't have to be taken personally. It can be received with an open mind and an open heart so that there can...

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Avoiding Conflict In Relationships

Rohini and Angus had one subject that they avoided discussing to avoid conflict in their relationship and maintain the status quo. That subject was racism. However, recently, they have been able to address this subject with each other and move through difficult feelings together. This deeper level of empathy, understanding, and compassion was definitely worth the emotional discomfort of upsetting the status quo.   Angus & Rohini Ross are "the Rewilders." They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships by pointing them to their innate wisdom and understanding. They work with couples who are...

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Authentic Compassion vs. Spiritual Arrogance

I’ve been dealing with more critical feedback than usual based on recent opinions I’ve shared in my blogs. It has definitely been a learning curve for me to not take the feedback personally and to see the psychological innocence in the people who shared. However, my biggest teacher in this area has been my daughter. She really helped me to see how I was not holding a loving and compassionate space for her when she was upset. In my attempts to be mature and not lose my cool, I would separate myself from her anger. However, my steps of self-care...

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