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You Are Wild, Free and Untamed

Angus and I facilitated a corporate training recently and the target audience was millennials. We were a curious pick as we are old enough to be their parents and maybe even their grandparents in some cases.   Fortunately, what we shared with them is timeless.    As we prepared for the training, I noticed age labels cropping up in my awareness. I reflected on how we are all born free of any label and how that experience of freedom is available when we are simply being rather than defined by a concept. That freedom is what we are all seeking -- freedom from the...

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Freedom From Being A Slave to External Validation

My car lease expired at the end of last month so I went into the dealership after a good friend found me an amazing deal. Everything was completed ahead of time. I just needed to do the swap. Or so I thought. I forgot about the time in the finance office. When I was reminded of this, I walked into the finance office braced and ready for the reams of papers to sign. I sat down in the black vinyl chair ready for the task.   Then I was taken aback. Rather than a get down to business start. I was greeted...

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Trying To Be Special

I have a thing about feeling important.   I like to feel special. I like to be the favorite.   I don’t like being on the outside. I don’t like feeling less than. I don’t like feeling insignificant.   I want to be in the in-crowd. I want to finish first. I like coming out on top.   Trying to be all of this is really hard work and never satisfying because there is no such thing as arriving. There is never enough praise, validation, acknowledgment, adulation or success to take away feelings of unworthiness.   Even though I know better, at times, I still drop into feelings of self-doubt and insecurity....

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Have Fun Being Unapologetically YOU!

Angus didn’t realize he had taken someone’s negative feedback about our Vlog personally until it came time to do it. What I really appreciate about the pre-recording experience was watching Angus go from reactive and caught up in his thinking one moment to seeing his mind shift and getting perspective in another. It is amazing how quickly our minds change, and it is so powerful to see how we all have that same capacity to drop into peace and clarity at any moment.   I can relate to Angus getting caught up in insecure thinking. It happens to me too. It is...

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White Bumps Are Neutral: I Can Live in Heaven or create Hell

I do not consider myself a vain person. I tend not to fuss too much about my clothes or wear a lot of makeup. On the day that Angus and I first met, my hairdresser asked me to come in the back door and go up the back stairs so I wouldn’t be seen before he had time to do a makeover on me. I was a student at the time and got free haircuts if I agreed to model for him. Angus was the photographer flown in to do the shoot. My hairdresser was concerned I wouldn't get picked...

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Hold Infinity In The Palm of Your Hand and Do The Dishes

I am writing this the day before Mother’s Day. I have just finished giving my husband Angus specific instructions regarding what I would like the day to be like tomorrow. There have been too many Mother’s Days with tears. According to Angus because I am not his mother there isn’t any responsibility on his part to do anything. I see it differently. I am not one to miss an opportunity to be celebrated.   Even with these instructions, I am experiencing FOMO. There is the largest Three Principles Conference in the world starting in London tomorrow, and I decided not to go....

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Do You Ever Feel Worthless and Insecure and Want to Feel Better?

Are you struggling with feelings of insecurity? Does it look like these feelings get in the way of your success and being able to relax and enjoy your life?   I can absolutely relate. I used to be driven by my feelings of insecurity. I tried to outrun them by working hard. I pushed. I strived. I forced myself. I punished myself. I felt not good enough, and I believed I needed to work my way out of my low self-esteem. Self-improvement was my focus.   That was my coping mechanism. I got lots of positive acknowledgments from this on the outside. I...

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Sacrificing Special for the Freedom of Ordinary

I grew up thinking I was special. Perhaps this is common for only children growing up in an environment that requires no sharing and has no competition, but special became a label I felt I needed to live into. I used the weight of my belief to drive me in school to be the best. I hung onto the label of special feeling that I could earn my feelings of worth by wrapping myself up in it. Academic awards and scholarships helped me to keep the illusion alive. It then took a new form when I was modeling and found...

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Let’s Stop Working On Ourselves!

I have been noticing a theme with my clients across the board from the work I do with leaders, to teams, to individual clients. There is a focus on there being something wrong with them, and a pervasive idea that they would feel better and perform better once it is fixed. Their "it" could be insecurity, worry, lack of motivation, feelings of overwhelm -- fill in the blank. However, instead of diving into what they see as the problem, I help them recognize that whatever the experience is that they want to get rid of, it is not the problem. The problem...

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Insecurity is an Ego Trip We Can Always Come Home From

I recently took an on-line personality test a friend shared on Facebook. I was surprised when one of the results indicated I have a big ego. I don't see myself as particularly arrogant or conceited. My character weaknesses tend to fall on the side of self-doubt and insecurity. Not that I took the test very seriously, but it did cause me to reflect on what it means to have a big ego.   It made me look at my experience of insecurity in a new way. I saw when I am experiencing self-doubt, I am actually self-absorbed and self-centered at those times,...

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