Rohini’s Blog

Blame and Relationships

[embed]https://www.facebook.com/rohini.ross/videos/10222320461706434/[/embed]   Angus has a love-hate relationship with the Vlog and we have that with each other at times. This morning is an example of us falling into blame with each other making the other person responsible for our low moods. Fortunately, we take our blind spots lightly and eventually remember the feelings will pass. Blame is just a misguided attempt to feel better. But when we remember that feelings change and experience comes and goes naturally there is no need to resort to blame. The feeling of warmth and love in the relationship doesn’t need to be sacrificed just because our state...

Read More

Inner Peace and Psychology Don’t Mix

I am trained and licensed as a Marriage and Family therapist. I love serving people and supporting them with suffering less and loving more. I entered the field of psychology because it looked like the best way to go about helping people. You can understand then why it would be disconcerting when I came across an understanding that revealed to me that the solution to suffering is not actually found within the scope of the discipline of psychology that studies thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.   The very thing I learned about to help people actually does not have the answers in it.   After...

Read More

Angus Unchained

Rohini is getting over her Valentine's Day "grinchiness" and getting into the spirit of the day. Angus shares what he is seeing around the profound resilience we each have inside to regulate. We don't need to regulate ourselves. Our design is to regulate. No experience is wrong or abnormal it is all just part of the experience of being human. Seeing this helps us to be more comfortable with whatever our experience is.   Rohini can see how her resistance to her experience would often lead to conflict between Angus and her because she would try to self-regulate through regulating him. It...

Read More

Resolving Relationship Problems (or any other kind of problem)

I was the consummate self-help fanatic attending numerous workshops and trainings to improve myself. Years ago on one of these five-day trainings, on the last day when everyone was completely blissed out, I decided to share. But I didn’t share my gratitude for everything I had experienced or for the greater freedom I was feeling. I did experience those things, but instead, I moved swiftly on to the next problem I could see. My thinking was, "Yeah, that’s really nice inner peace, freedom, true nature whatever, but I still have this problem. My relationship is still a problem. I am...

Read More

Crazy Caring Parents – So Funny!

You have to watch this! What goes on in parents' heads? Does it seem like they are caring or being controlling? If you want a laugh - or you want to understand how things go wrong in relationships between teens and parents - you have to watch this! Angus and Rohini Ross (brilliant relationship and life coaches - and honest with it) share how separate realities can cause all sorts of suffering for parents and teens! To watch what came next and find out more - go to https://youtu.be/olHjVGr4D_Q   Angus & Rohini Ross are "the Rewilders". They love working with couples...

Read More

The Simple Way To An Easier Relationship

Our personal realities can look so separate and different. Angus has a very unique approach to taking care of an upset stomach and it works for him!   Understanding how separate our realities can look and recognizing that our experience comes from that unique reality we create is so helpful in relationships. In the example shared here, I got caught up in my personal version of reality where it felt like I was bad, wrong, not good enough, and it looked like Angus was responsible for me feeling that way. But that is not the truth.   That experience was a temporary reality that...

Read More

Re-Wilding You — You and Your Relationships Will Flourish

Re-wilding is a term used in environmental circles to refer to bringing a location back to its natural state of health and vitality. Re-wilding, however, doesn’t just apply to our environment. We can re-wild societies, businesses, families, couples, and even individuals. They all benefits from coming back to their natural state of wild.   The term wild is often misunderstood. It has become associated with meaning something extreme and violent like when nature is seen as scary and dangerous. The wild is demonized and seen as out of control and crazy. It is also associated with promiscuity like the way wild is...

Read More

Microdosing Truth

Angus comes up with a wacky metaphor of how we are all microdosing on truth whether we realize it or not. AND we all have the opportunity to choose to look within to truth and see what gets revealed to us. It is so easy to get preoccupied with having more experiences of pleasure and fewer experiences of pain that we don't realize there is another option altogether that is to step outside of the cycle. Without even changing it, stepping outside and having perspective on it gives us more peace and freedom. There is nothing wrong with our humanness...

Read More

Looking Toward Your True Nature For No Good Reason

I’m sitting on our sage living room couch that has seen better days, but with two teenagers still living at home, I am going to hold off on getting a new one. The spills and stains that show up after friends’ visits or the occasional party don’t bother me that way. My legs are stretched out on the chaise lounge portion of the sofa. I had to look that word up. I thought it was chaise long, but I stand corrected. Our cat Twilight named by our girls when they were younger after the dusky color of the sky before...

Read More

Let Your True Nature Handle Your Relationship Problems

Relationship problems can feel all-consuming. When we experience emotional suffering it is hard not to focus on the issue and try to find a way out of it. Unfortunately, what this does is magnify the problem in our mind and this only takes us further away from resolution.   It may feel counter-intuitive, but the best way to support yourself when you are experiencing relationship issues, or any other issue for that matter, is to look away from the problem. This is not said with the intent of sweeping the issue under the rug. It is said with the clearest intention of...

Read More