Blog Archives | Rohini Ross - Part 2
 

Blog Archives

The Importance of Presence

We are excited that our podcast Rewilding Love is launching next Tuesday, November 24th! We hope you will join us on the twists and turns of the journey with Alicia and Mateo as they decide whether or not they should stay or go in their marriage. And for this week after a deleted audio file debacle, Angus realized how detrimental a busy mind is and embraced presence more intentionally. This is a learning curve for both of us, and it makes a huge difference to the quality of our relationship as well.   Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” Listen to...

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Shame Begone

When I was in high school I went on a field trip to an International High School that was a boarding school near the village where I lived. Students attended the high school from all over the world. As part of the field trip, the students from my school played a game.   We were divided into teams and given different roles to play within the world order. There were country leaders, national advisers, and spies. I was the leader of a first-world nation with the highest GDP. It was obviously meant to represent the U.S. One of my closest friends who...

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I Don’t Need To Be Part of Your Meltdown

It seems obvious that it is fine to let someone have their emotional experience and give them space to have the dignity of their own experience, and even though we both know this intellectually we still can find ourselves getting pulled into each other's emotional reactivity at times trying to fix things with the seeming intent of helping the other person. But really it is more to do with the discomfort of being around the other person and their emotions. Rohini woke up in the middle of one of the moments and realized, "I don't need to be part of...

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Time to Heal

Saturday morning Angus and I were pottering around. I had a supervision call with participants in my Rewilding Guide and after we were going meet up with the couple we were doing an intensive with. We were making tea and taking care of the pets. Angus turned on CNN. The previous night when we were watching we heard the announcement “LIVE ELECTION UPDATE” several times and were told information like 30 votes have come in from a county in Pennsylvania or Georgia. So when Wolf Blitzer announced another election update at 8:30 am neither one of us was particularly excited....

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Patience, Impatience, and Wellbeing

Rohini noticed how she had been lacking patience this week and realized it only happens when she forgets her wellbeing is found within. Angus uses his experience of being in the circular inferno of driving around LAX as a metaphor for what happens when he is grappling for control. Impatience is a normal part of the human experience, and it is a signal that lets us know the mind is spinning.   Angus & Rohini Ross are "the Rewilders." They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships by pointing them to their innate wisdom...

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Water Rage

I am not allowed to be pissed off. I can’t be angry. Rage is forbidden. No wonder I am claustrophobic. I am suffocated by the pressure of my rules squeezing me tight like a boa constrictor, squeezing the life out of me. I get to live life as a sucked out shell with a smile on my face. I aim to please.   That is how I earn my worth. I am of service. Let me help you. I will make you happy. I am a service professional at the age of 14 busing tables, bringing bread, and fetching water. I get...

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Healthy Relationships and Conflict

We used to think that conflict was bad and that it meant there was something wrong with our relationship. This put pressure on us to try and improve ourselves and improve our relationship. All this did was make us more tense and it had us focus on what was wrong rather than appreciate and be grateful for what we did have. Now we see that it is okay if our relationship has conflict from time to time. It is not the end of the world. It doesn't mean anything about us or our relationship. What is more important is that...

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70’s Insomnia

I am scared. I am afraid of the emptiness. I don’t want to let go. The ways to escape sleep are limited. My imagination is my best means to keep myself safe from the angst of nothingness. I entertain myself in another world where I am the central character all-powerful and in control.    From birth, I did not want to sleep. I resisted the shift in consciousness and this followed me into childhood. Now vast swathes of hours awake confront me as I lie in bed at 7:30 pm. The dutiful daughter. I can hear the brothers next door playing outside....

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Insecurity and Relationship Conflict

Angus and I noticed a pattern earlier in our relationship where when one of us was nervous we were more likely to get into conflict. This week we passed an invisible test when that didn't happen even though I had been feeling nervous. What was different was I was better able to tolerate my feelings of insecurity and be comfortable in the discomfort. In the past, as a way to try and avoid the experience of insecurity, one of us would turn to blame and make the other person responsible for our feelings in a misguided attempt to try and...

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I Am Human

I am human, a fallen angel. The musings of my imagination create fantastical scenarios that are so pleasing but never arrive. The delights and pleasures I was expecting seem to elude me. I am sorely disappointed with this lifetime. I am the disappointment of a lifetime. I am a failure in my eyes. I am a failure in God’s. eyes. I never to measure up.   Throw expectations out the window, hopes, and dreams with them like the baby and bathwater. I’m not the apple of my eye. The satisfaction never to be fulfilled is disappointing, but that is what I have to...

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