Rohini’s Blog

The Game of Taking Things Personally

It is so much easier to not take things personally with someone you aren't close to. The lack of a close relationship helps you to keep your perspective and not make it about you. However, with people that you are close with, it can be hard to see the big picture and not feel hurt by their behavior even over insignificant things like dishes left in the sink. Angus uses a video game metaphor to point to what helps to have more inner stability. When you realize you are the gamer and not the game, it is easier to be...

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Holding A Compassionate Space For Anger

Anger can be incredibly painful and difficult to navigate in relationships. Angus and I have had our fair share of challenges with this in the past. It is often difficult to talk about because of the shame associated with reactive behaviors. Unfortunately, shame makes us resist our feelings so it is harder for them to disperse and more difficult to gain perspective within ourselves. Shame also makes it much less likely for us to reach out for support when it is needed most.   The only act of physical violence in my marriage was committed by me. This happened about sixteen years...

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My Partner is Driving Me Crazy

My partner is driving me more crazy than usual. This topic has been coming up in Rohini’s coaching conversations. It is something we can both relate to. What we recognize for ourselves is that this is not a reflection of the other person’s behavior, but a reflection of our state of mind. Angus uses the example of my picking my cuticles to illustrate this point. When he is in a low mood it drives him crazy. When he is in a good mood it doesn’t bother him. We share this as a reminder and an invitation to you to look...

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Untamed: A Podcast About Relationships

Enjoy a sneak preview of our upcoming podcast where Angus and I spend an entire season sharing our journey guiding an anonymous, real couple toward their true natures so they can decide what to do regarding their marriage that is on the brink of divorce.   Angus & Rohini Ross are "the Rewilders." They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships by pointing them to their innate wisdom and understanding. They work with couples who are struggling and couples who would like to deepen the love and intimacy they already have. They co-facilitate individualized couples...

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Anger and Taking Things Personally

Angus has a hard start to the day so he wanted a bit of a do-over when answering a question about taking things personally. Rohini can't keep a straight face when he talks about climbing El Capitan without "cling-ons." We hope the take away is that when we take things personally and our feelings get hurt, remember that is a reflection of your state of mind in the moment. Even if you have done something wrong, the feedback doesn't have to be taken personally. It can be received with an open mind and an open heart so that there can...

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Messy, Awkward, and Emotional — That is Spiritual Too

Over the past several weeks, my discomfort with upsetting people has required me to look inward and dig more deeply for my own inner guidance and wisdom than I have had to do in a while. I know my uncomfortable emotions are a sign of reactivity letting me know I am identifying with my ego. I have been on the learning curve of not taking other people’s upset with me personally. The upset has not only been coming from reactions to my blog posts, although it has been particularly disconcerting to be on the receiving end of racist feedback, but...

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Avoiding Conflict In Relationships

Rohini and Angus had one subject that they avoided discussing to avoid conflict in their relationship and maintain the status quo. That subject was racism. However, recently, they have been able to address this subject with each other and move through difficult feelings together. This deeper level of empathy, understanding, and compassion was definitely worth the emotional discomfort of upsetting the status quo.   Angus & Rohini Ross are "the Rewilders." They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships by pointing them to their innate wisdom and understanding. They work with couples who are...

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Neutrality is Heartless in the Face of Injustice

I want to acknowledge all of the support demonstrated by my readers for anti-racism and for the acknowledgment that Black Lives Matter. As many of you know, my blog posts focus on sharing my personal experience and what I am learning and seeing more deeply related to the experience of living in the human form with more love and understanding.   I share with the intent of being of service, and I encourage you to use my reflections to stimulate your own personal inquiry so you look inward and listen deeply to the wisdom of your true nature. From there, your actions...

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Authentic Compassion vs. Spiritual Arrogance

I’ve been dealing with more critical feedback than usual based on recent opinions I’ve shared in my blogs. It has definitely been a learning curve for me to not take the feedback personally and to see the psychological innocence in the people who shared. However, my biggest teacher in this area has been my daughter. She really helped me to see how I was not holding a loving and compassionate space for her when she was upset. In my attempts to be mature and not lose my cool, I would separate myself from her anger. However, my steps of self-care...

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Black Lives Matter

Thank you for being a reader!   Last week I shared on social media how surprised I was that so many people unsubscribed from my newsletter in one morning after my last post. I also acknowledged that I didn’t know why people unsubscribed. I received a tremendous amount of support, and some people emailed to let me know their unsubscribe was not related to that week’s post. But I did receive this email:   Rohini, I enjoyed your and Angus's posts very much. But I resent your using the 3 principles platform to promote your political agenda. When I signed up to your emails,...

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