love and relationships | Rohini Ross - Part 9

One Solution To Sexual Boredom In Long-Term Relationships

According to researchers, women have a much harder time than men maintaining their sex-drive in long-term monogamous relationships. Women seemingly suffer more than men from habituation to a stimulus, meaning they are more easily bored than men with having sex with the same person over and over again. Two German longitudinal studies show that female desire drops dramatically over 90 months, while men’s holds relatively steady. However, women who didn’t live with their partners did not experience the same drop.   Sex with familiarity is apparently harder for women than men. Although Freud did document the Madonna-Whore complex where men struggle to...

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Angus Wants A Gray Hall Pass

What have I got myself into? Now Angus is going to be googling gray hall passes! All I wanted to say is that sexual boredom is not going to be solved by looking for more external stimulus. That is a never-ending quest. The sustainable solution is understanding that boredom, including sexual boredom, is a state of mind. Boredom reflects how sped up the individual's mind is rather than being caused by being in a long-term relationship. I know for myself there was a period of time where it got harder for me to drop out of my busy thinking before...

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Keeping Sexual Attraction Alive in Long-Term Relationships

**warning adult language used**   One of the biggest challenges to relationships is each person’s relationship with their anxiety. Even if you don’t suffer from an anxiety disorder, everyone has the experience of anxiety in their lives. What happens in relationships is that it is easy to blame the other person for your anxiety and/or want your partner to fix your anxiety. The foundation for many relationships is being able to ease each other’s anxiety. You become each other’s security blanket when you aren’t driving each other crazy.   When this happens sexual attraction goes out the window.   People blame all kinds of factors for...

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The Honeymoon Period of a Relationship is Not Time Limited

The honeymoon period of a relationship is not time limited. It is also not an experience of craziness. It is perhaps when you are most sane because you have the experience of dropping out of your anxious thoughts and getting present to the moment and to the feeling of your true nature. You fall into love. Not love with the other person, but the experience of love within yourself. Then at some point, you have an insecure experience again, and it looks like it is the other person’s fault. But how can it be? Your experience is not caused by...

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We Are The Rewilders

Angus and I recorded this on the last day of an AMAZING Business Accelerator program facilitated by Barb Patterson! It was an incredible experience and a wonderful catalyst for our business. We are the Rewilders, and we are so excited to share what we have learned about following our essential nature and how this helps relationships. The natural state of your relationship is love, and we can help you see that more clearly so you live your best relationship possible!   Angus & Rohini Ross are "the Rewilders". They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships by...

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What Color Is Your Relationship?

There are the Five Love Languages outlined in Gary Chapman's book that describes the ways we like to feel loved and appreciated. There could also be the five colors of relationship designated for different relationship states. Blue for distant. Red for conflictual. Yellow for competitive. Black for dead, and white for peaceful. These are of course made up and random. ` What is helpful, however, is not determining the color of your relationship, rather it is understanding that the color of your relationship is a reflection of the color of the two people in it. I am not talking about skin color....

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Don’t Trust Your Low Mood Thinking

Angus has a chance to show off about how well the English soccer teams are doing in the European soccer championships, but he does have a good point that they have demonstrated tremendous resilience in the face of adversity. This is so helpful in relationships. It is easy to get discouraged about our partner and our relationship when we are in a low mood. When we take low mood thinking seriously we create plans to cope with what we see. I used to get into a low mood, feel discouraged about our relationship, and then start planning how to leave Angus...

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Shopping Ninja

What is the weirdest thing your partner has sent you to the store for? Angus is a shopping ninja unless I slow him down with my unusual requests. My disruption of his shopping flow helps him to see he is more sped up than he realized. We all have our blind spots. The areas where it is invisible to us that we are caught up in thought. The good news is we don't have to work on ourselves or try and fix them. Our true nature doesn't have blind spots. So rather than trying to wake up faster, improve ourselves, or try to...

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Do You Try To Be A Bomb Disposal Expert With Your Partner’s Upset?

Angus used to feel like he was trying to defuse a bomb with oven mitts on when I was upset. He didn't realize that his job was not to fix my problems. He thought he couldn't be happy if I wasn't happy. And the more he tried to make me happy the more upset I became. Now Angus and I both know that happiness comes from within. He realizes that no matter how emotional I get, I will eventually stabilize. And I have learned to not trust my low mood thinking. I am skeptical of it so I don't get...

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The Call of Your Wild

In his book, The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships, Neil Straus says, “They say that when you meet someone and feel like it's love at first sight, run in the other direction. All that's happened is that your dysfunction has meshed with their dysfunction. Your wounded inner child has recognized their wounded inner child, both hoping to be healed by the same fire that burned them.”   This is not the first time I have heard this dating advice. Somehow our natural instincts are perceived as dangerous and letting us down.   What if it is true that we are attracted to...

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