love and relationships | Rohini Ross - Part 5

Don’t Trust Your Low Mood Thoughts

We have been fighting a bug in our household that has impacted our state of mind. I woke up in a panic attack this morning. One of our daughters was freaking out yesterday, and Angus entered the darkness last weekend. Fortunately, we are all coming out the other side of it, and it has been helpful when we have remembered to not take our low mood thinking or the other person's low mood thinking seriously in the process. Hopefully, you find our experience helpful to you.   Here are the links I mentioned: 3PGC Online Conference that is happening this weekend https://3pgc.org/2020-online-conference/   Dr. Amy Johnson's...

Read More

Blame and Relationships

[embed]https://www.facebook.com/rohini.ross/videos/10222320461706434/[/embed]   Angus has a love-hate relationship with the Vlog and we have that with each other at times. This morning is an example of us falling into blame with each other making the other person responsible for our low moods. Fortunately, we take our blind spots lightly and eventually remember the feelings will pass. Blame is just a misguided attempt to feel better. But when we remember that feelings change and experience comes and goes naturally there is no need to resort to blame. The feeling of warmth and love in the relationship doesn’t need to be sacrificed just because our state...

Read More

Angus Unchained

Rohini is getting over her Valentine's Day "grinchiness" and getting into the spirit of the day. Angus shares what he is seeing around the profound resilience we each have inside to regulate. We don't need to regulate ourselves. Our design is to regulate. No experience is wrong or abnormal it is all just part of the experience of being human. Seeing this helps us to be more comfortable with whatever our experience is.   Rohini can see how her resistance to her experience would often lead to conflict between Angus and her because she would try to self-regulate through regulating him. It...

Read More

The Simple Way To An Easier Relationship

Our personal realities can look so separate and different. Angus has a very unique approach to taking care of an upset stomach and it works for him!   Understanding how separate our realities can look and recognizing that our experience comes from that unique reality we create is so helpful in relationships. In the example shared here, I got caught up in my personal version of reality where it felt like I was bad, wrong, not good enough, and it looked like Angus was responsible for me feeling that way. But that is not the truth.   That experience was a temporary reality that...

Read More

Re-Wilding You — You and Your Relationships Will Flourish

Re-wilding is a term used in environmental circles to refer to bringing a location back to its natural state of health and vitality. Re-wilding, however, doesn’t just apply to our environment. We can re-wild societies, businesses, families, couples, and even individuals. They all benefits from coming back to their natural state of wild.   The term wild is often misunderstood. It has become associated with meaning something extreme and violent like when nature is seen as scary and dangerous. The wild is demonized and seen as out of control and crazy. It is also associated with promiscuity like the way wild is...

Read More

Let Your True Nature Handle Your Relationship Problems

Relationship problems can feel all-consuming. When we experience emotional suffering it is hard not to focus on the issue and try to find a way out of it. Unfortunately, what this does is magnify the problem in our mind and this only takes us further away from resolution.   It may feel counter-intuitive, but the best way to support yourself when you are experiencing relationship issues, or any other issue for that matter, is to look away from the problem. This is not said with the intent of sweeping the issue under the rug. It is said with the clearest intention of...

Read More

Don’t Despair Over The Post-Honeymoon Fall From Grace

It is actually a blessing when the fall from grace happens.   Most people are upset and troubled when they experience difficulties in their intimate relationships. There are a few, however, that see the difficulties as a gift.   Firstly, to have the gift of an intimate relationship in which the pressure comes off to be perfect is a huge blessing. We can often keep it together at work or in social situations through the willpower of self-management driven by fear, and some people even maintain this facade in intimate relationships, but it is a real blessing to be in a relationship that is...

Read More

A Healthy Relationship Starts With You!

Who has a healthy relationship all the time?   All relationships are the reflection of the two people in the relationship. They will as such reflect the health of the individuals moment to moment. This means that the health of a relationship can dramatically change based on how the two people are showing up in it.   What I have noticed is that people can become very judgmental of themselves and blame themselves as not being capable of being in a healthy relationship. They feel that their human frailties cause problems and prevent the experience of a healthy relationship.   Blame becomes the source of discouragement,...

Read More

Happy Birthday Angus!

We celebrated Angus's birthday which is very fitting as Angus shares his most senior moment to date, and he offers words of wisdom regarding busyness and the perils of becoming overly focused on checking off your To-Dos.   If you are interested in the New Year program 2020 INSIGHT we mentioned, here is the link: https://barbarapatterson.com/insight/   Angus & Rohini Ross are "the Rewilders". They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships by opening them up to their innate vitality and resilience. They work with couples who are struggling and couples who would like to deepen...

Read More