fbpx
 
What Reduces Suffering In Relationships?

What Reduces Suffering In Relationships?

I love hearing from my clients past and present how the understanding Sydney Banks shared is impacting their lives. My client gave me permission to share this part of  a text I received last week:

 

…something I’ve learned from you that I’m counting on in this situation is knowing our moods shift and eventually migrate to well being. This is shitty and not fun but at least it won’t and can’t last forever. 

 

That is music to my ears. Understanding the fluid nature of experience and recognizing we will always come back to our true nature of wellbeing is so reassuring especially when we are suffering. When we remember that suffering is subjective and transitory and it is not who we are, it is just an experience we have, this makes it is so much easier to be in the experience with less fear and attachment to feeling differently. The main source of suffering is resisting what is.

 

I have had a sore lower back this past week. I moved the dog crate by myself rather than asking Angus for help. It isn’t that heavy, but it was awkward to lift. I tweaked my back in the process. At times I have been suffering from the pain, and at other times it is only in the background of my awareness taking up a minimal amount of my attention. No matter what my experience is, I know it is not a fixed state. My body is doing what it needs to do to heal. It is giving me useful information, and I am listening to my intuition regarding stretching and exercising to keep the blood flowing to that region.

 

Whether it is physical pain or emotional pain, the understanding shared by Syd Banks is helpful. It points to the subjective nature of our human experience and the truth of who we are beyond our thoughts, feelings, and experiences. This helps us to be with the passing human experience more lightly and have our foundational reference point in that which does not change — who we really are. The experiencer, not the experience.

 

As the experiencer, we open up to a space of infinite possibility where peace, happiness, and love reside.

 

Syd Banks taught there is no methodology required to get to that space. We don’t need to earn it. There is a direct path that only requires inward reflection. It is much easier to look within when we understand that no thing outside of ourselves can give us happiness. This applies to the forms of people, places, belongings, thoughts, and practices. Happiness does not come from form. It is the inner state that we drop into that is independent of the circumstances we are in and how the world of form looks in the moment.

 

This is the most freeing understanding I have experienced, and I know I just have a glimpse of it. But that glimpse has made my life so much lighter and more enjoyable. That is available for us all and more if we look in the direction of what is true and unchanging.

 

The experiences of well-being, peace, contentment, happiness are all qualities of our true nature. When we experience them we are experiencing the deepest part of ourselves. This cannot be broken, changed or limited.

 

When we lose touch with those experiences it is not because the true self is diminished. We are simply more caught up in the changing world of form and attached to specific outcomes. This is nothing to worry about. We all do it. We all suffer at times. And as my client mentioned, we always bounce back.

 

The capacity for our true nature to break through the innocent limitations we live in is so hopeful. As Syd Banks said, “We are only ever one thought away.” Knowing this makes holding a position of limitation much less appealing. When righteousness is the source of suffering it is easier to let it go and allow the opening of the spiritual heart to occur.

 

We all want that. No matter how attached we are to our position and the resulting suffering, we all want the beautiful experience of wellbeing that bubbles up inside of us as the heart and mind opens more fully to the truth of who we are.

 

Syd Banks is not the only person who pointed in this direction. There are many others who recognize the direct path to experiencing the truth of our being. What matters is are you looking in that direction? Are you recognizing what is available to you as you let go of all attachments to wellbeing residing outside of you?

 

This is a path of learning and waking up. I forget all the time and think my happiness lies outside of me in something or someone, including myself, being different. And then I remember. It doesn’t work that way. The field of love is infinite. We are all that field.

 

The feeling of that field is our guide. There is wisdom in the feeling. There is guidance available. It is pointing us home to who we are, and we get the blessing of experiencing being home. We get the gift of consciousness to being awake to being home, and with this blessing and gift comes the full range of experience that includes all kinds of other experiences too.

 

That is when it is helpful to remember that experience is transitory. It is not who you are. Look to the experiencer and what lies within. And bring that to life in the world of form.

 

So what reduces suffering in relationships?

 

Remembering you are love. You are loved. You are loving. That is who you are!

 

I could say, “Don’t forget it.” But you will and that is okay. You will always remember. You will always migrate back to wellbeing!

 

Rohini Ross is passionate about helping people wake up to their full potential. She is a transformative coach, leadership consultant, a regular blogger for Thrive Global, and author of the short-read Marriage (The Soul-Centered Series Book 1) available on Amazon. You can get her free eBook Relationships here. Rohini has an international coaching and consulting practice based in Los Angeles helping individuals, couples, and professionals embrace all of who they are so they can experience greater levels of well-being, resiliency, and success. She is also the founder of The Soul-Centered Series: Psychology, Spirituality, and the Teachings of Sydney Banks. You can follow Rohini on FacebookTwitter, and Instagram, and watch her Vlogs with her husband. To learn more about her work go to her website, rohiniross.com.

No Comments

Post a Comment