love and relationships | Rohini Ross - Part 13

How the Principles Helped Me Go From One Foot Out the Door to Being “All In” in my Marriage

In this 3PGC webinar, Rohini speaks to how the understanding of the Principles transformed her relationship with herself and her husband. Instead of being at the effect of her insecure thinking, she was able to find an inner foundation of security that allowed her to be “all-in” in her marriage and her life.   Become a 3PGC member: http://www.3pgc.org and receive all the email announcements about the webinars and more.   Rohini Ross is the founder and presenter of The Soul-Centered Series: Psychology, Spirituality and the Teachings of Sydney Banks that starts October 2018 in Santa Monica, CA. She is passionate about helping people...

Read More

Low Moods Pass Naturally

Our thinking can get really stirred up at times. The main warning sign that this is happening is a low mood. Low moods, however, don’t mean anything about us. They are temporary states of mind and will naturally pass. The less we do anything about them, and the less we try to fix our mood, the quicker we find ourselves back at normal. It is, however, helpful to know when our thinking is stirred up. We can then take that into consideration as we live life. If Angus had taken this into account, he might have paid more attention when...

Read More

Dirty Smoothie Glasses Are Not the Source of Upset

There are some practical tips in this Vlog like how to stop a golden retriever from throwing up on your rug. There is also a common sense advisory on not forcing a pregnant woman with morning sickness to eat. But an additional tip on what to do if you do. However, the main teaching point is the one that Angus and I speak to all the time. It is, our experience does not come from circumstance.   It comes from our thoughts in the moment. Living in day-to-day life, the illusion of our feelings being caused by other people or circumstances like...

Read More

The Goal is Not to Change Emotional Experience, Just Remember the Source that Creates It

I have noticed how I can be critical. I can be sharp. I don’t mean to be, but I can have an edge. This occurs when my personal thinking is stirred up. I am feeling separate. My “I” is strong. Then other times when my thinking is more settled my “I” softens and my heart opens. I feel connected and more peaceful.   I am struck by the benefit of the understanding of the principles for pointing out how I can be more neutral about not just being the soft “I” with the expanded heart. I put less pressure on myself...

Read More

Angus and the Illusion of Listening

Listening is something that is so natural and simple, yet many people, Angus and I included, don’t do it all the time. We think we are listening or we give the impression that we are listening, but we are not fully present. Our mind is elsewhere. When this happens we miss out on connection and intimacy with another, but ultimately what we miss is the connection with ourselves. We feel our personal thoughts more than the oneness of who we all are.   Angus and I are not sharing this as a technique. There is no technique for listening. You are either...

Read More

Differences Are Only a Problem in a Low Mood

I don’t really sleep under a tarpaulin. For some reason Angus has taken exception to my weighted blanket. And he can get annoyed with my temperature needs that are different than his own, even though I am used to wearing extra layers, especially in the car. ?❄❄❄   But the point we are making is that from a good mood these differences are not issues or problems. They can be amusing, but they are not challenging. However, from a low mood they, and other differences between us, can look like real problems. ??   We have both gotten better at recognizing when we are...

Read More

Bossiness is in the Eye of the Beholder

This is not an example of Angus at his best with listening. He normally does a better job of disguising his inattentiveness, but it is a good example of how we each live in our own separate reality. I can think I am being helpful and Angus can think I am bossy. What is even more amazing is I can be doing the same thing and from one state of mind, Angus can see me as helpful and from another state of mind he can see me as bossy. I can also be completely blind to my bossiness and see...

Read More

Sh*t heads are love too!

Blooper included in the video highlighting our message that there is room for humanness in life. We don’t always have to be our best. The world doesn’t end when we get reactive. I used to feel so fragile in the face of Angus’ reactivity and irritability. I wanted him to change. It never occurred to me that I didn’t have to take his behavior personally. I didn’t realize it was even possible, and I was blind to my own reactivity.   I focused on his and ignored my own. I expected him to change. I badgered and complained and nagged. He would...

Read More

He Said, She Said: Separate Realities and Germs

Angus and I live in separate realities when it comes to dirt and germs. He has a lot more thinking about them than I do. His coping mechanism for dealing with all that thought is hand sanitizer and hand washing. We aren’t going to see things the same way any time soon, but we have found a lighthearted way to be with each other about it. We can accept that reality looks different for us in this area and then find ways to navigate the differences that work for both of us.   I have to let go of my judgment that...

Read More

He Said, She Said: More on Angus’ Absentmindedness

This time Angus keeps his pants on but loses a baby. In order for our relationship to work, I needed to learn that my wellbeing was not dependent on Angus having a good memory or being focused. It looked like it was for many years, but finally, I got to see more clearly that my upset was not coming from his behavior. This helped me to get over my frustration and incredulity so much more quickly and accept Angus as he is, absentmindedness included. It was better for us and better for me! Do you have something in your life...

Read More