relationships | Rohini Ross - Part 6

What Kind of Love is Enough For Relationships?

People say that love is not enough to keep a relationship working. However, the love I am referring to here is not personal, romantic love. I am referring to the unconditional love that is the essence of who we are. This love is transformative and available no matter what the state of a relationship. And when we experiencing it, it is the best state of mind from which to make relationship decisions. Unconditional love is available, and it does not mean unconditional relationship, but it allows for truly self-honoring choices to be made that reflect authentic empowerment and inner wisdom.   Love...

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Understanding Separate Realities Helps Relationships

Even though Angus isn't "quirk" ready I share a quirk of his I have noticed since being in isolation that I didn't notice before. We also share a funny experience that involves Angus and a Whole Foods security guard as a way to illustrate how we live in our own subjective reality and how real that can look at times. Seeing this is so helpful to relationships. It helps us to take our experience more lightly as well as our partners. We see that it isn't about blame and who is right and who is wrong. We are all doing...

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All Fear is Fear of the Unknown

Angus shares that worry is what we do when we get scared of the unknown, and we try to control our experience through worrying. Rohini points to how we use worry to get out of uncomfortable feelings thinking that we can think our way out of them. Of course, that never works and we end up feeling worse. What is important to remember is that we don't need to run from our experience or try to change it -- not even worry. We can simply be with it. It is only a small part of who we are. It does not define us. And,...

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Couples on Lockdown

Angus and I have had a lot of practice being together. We have both been self-employed and worked from home at different times in our relationship. We had to navigate this, even more, when we started working together. But when we first moved in together it wasn't easy, especially for Angus. At times I looked like I was responsible for making him unhappy and vice versa. We thought we would share this now in case you might be struggling with spending more time with your partner. We hope that you can see that any upset or reactivity is a reflection of...

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Relationship Crisis or Wake Up Call?

Life has its way of giving us feedback and letting us know when we are going in a painful direction. The feedback shows up in many forms. One of the forms is a relationship crisis. Unfortunately, however, often when this occurs rather than this being seen as an awakening process, it is perceived as a relationship issue. The solution then looks like it is about fixing or improving the relationship or getting a new relationship rather than looking to the inner opportunity for growth. I have certainly fallen into this category.   The crisis is not a commentary on the relationship. It...

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How to Avoid Going Stir-Crazy When You Have To Stay Home!

I was reading recently how some gurus in India expect their disciples to become ascetics and recluses, while others encourage family life and duties. It was indicated that most gurus consider family life more difficult than renunciation, with family life suitable only for a balanced and mature personality.   I was reflecting on this as social distancing and stay at home measures are being implemented to help slow down the rate that people are getting sick from COVID-19. I listened to an episode of the New York Times Daily where a couple was going to be spending significantly more time together because...

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Angus Gets Hot and Bothered and Thinks He Has a Fever

Our hearts go out to everyone who is impacted by COVID-19. We send love and wish everyone good health and safety during this time. Things got more real for us when Angus found out his cousin was on a ventilator due to the illness. To make matters worse this sent him into an internal tailspin of worry. Fortunately, after his fever scare, he settled and saw what he was doing. We hope this Vlog reminds you to look within for your peace of mind and security, now and always. Of course, we all get pulled into thinking we need things...

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We Came Back From Being A Lost Cause Relationship

It can be very hard for couples to see that the other person is not responsible for their upset. I’m upset because she doesn’t want to have sex. I’m upset because he yelled at me. These look true. It looks like the lack of sex causes upset. It looks like the yelling is what causes the hurt.   It looks like the solution is for the other person to change. I wouldn't be upset if he or she were different.   That is often how couples come to Angus and me, thinking that with our help we will get their partner to change so they...

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Seeing Psychological Innocence Is Not The Same As Being A Doormat

There can be confusion between seeing someone's psychological innocence and condoning their behavior. The two are often conflated. This Vlog hopefully clarifies this and if it doesn't please leave questions in the comments below.   Angus & Rohini Ross are "the Rewilders". They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships by opening them up to their innate vitality and resilience. They work with couples who are struggling and couples who would like to deepen the love and intimacy they already have. They co-facilitate individualized couples intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state...

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The Natural Gifts We Bring to Relationships

[embed]https://www.facebook.com/rohini.ross/videos/10222460446205959/[/embed]   I’ve always loved Angus’s natural drive to make situations fun and lighthearted. He always seemed so much better at it than me. I didn’t realize it was his coping mechanism for having a low tolerance for boredom. Nonetheless, I enjoy this about him tremendously and feel my life has been significantly enriched by it. It has brought out my lightheartedness more. How about you share with someone you love what you appreciate about what they naturally bring to your relationship? They may not even realize it. Let us know how it goes in the comments below.   Angus & Rohini Ross are...

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