relationships | Rohini Ross - Part 15

Rule Breaker and Rule Follower

Thank you to everyone who has reached out to check in with Angus and me regarding our safety and for offering your support while we were evacuated. We are very grateful for your love and kindness. We are safe and have not been impacted by the fire other than the evacuation. Many others, however, have not been as fortunate. If you would like to offer support here are some charities to choose from:   Wildfire Relief Fund   Disaster Relief Fund   Caring Choices   California Fire Foundation   Rohini and Angus are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders, and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love...

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Invisible State of Mind

It amazes me that my state of mind can be invisible to me. What I mean by that is that in my perception I think I am okay and in my right mind, but actually, I am destabilized. It is obvious to me when I am feeling extremes of upset, but what I share about in the Vlog is more subtle. Now I know when Angus says I am being stern, critical or on my high horse, he is probably right. He is picking up on my feeling state.   Normally I think he is the crazy one and just out of...

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The “D” Word

The "D" word is something that Angus and I used to consider frequently. I didn't even know it was on his mind as much as mine until this Vlog. I was just more vocal about it. Now, however, it isn't even a consideration for either of us.   The big game changer for us was seeing that a low mood is an indicator to not take our thinking seriously. We would only ever end up coming to the conclusion that divorce was the answer when we were in a low mood state. We have both learned not to think about what looks...

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Parenting Madness

Angus and I are learning a lot about not adding noise to the teenage brain, and we are calling ourselves forward to be the adults and take responsibility for our emotional experience. There is no better way to learn this than to see that even teenagers are not responsible for how we feel. We can only ever feel our thinking in the moment. No one and no thing is responsible for that. And even when we know this, we do forget, and there are times when we fail miserably to not be reactive.   Angus had one of these experiences on Monday...

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Goodwill is the Fertile Soil that Allows Relationships to Thrive

I had some of my reflections after watching the live-stream of the Pransky and Associates Working with Couples Training this weekend. The importance of goodwill in a relationship stood out to me as essential. It is as vital the richness of soil is for plants to grow in. If goodwill is low, it is impossible for a relationship to thrive, and goodwill is not about loving your partner in an abstract sense. It is authentic day-to-day warmth, appreciation, kindness and genuinely liking your partner. It is practical and felt.   If goodwill is low in a relationship, it is likely the result of...

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Sun Lounger Insights

Angus has finally convinced me to take a lie on the beach vacation. I used to think this would be a complete waste of time. I was a bit of a snob about taking that kind of vacation, but now I see the benefit of really letting my mind and body relax.   Rohini and Angus are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders, and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love working with couples and helping them reduce conflict and discord so they can experience more love and harmony in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized three-day couples intensives that...

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Navigating a Big Transition with More Ease

There is a big transition afoot in our household with our eldest daughter leaving for college and emotions are running higher than normal. What Angus​ and I love about the understanding of the Principles is that it lets us be with our humanness and our frailties in a gentler and more compassionate way, both for ourselves and for each other. And we did look up the dog in Peter Pan. Her name was Nana. She was a Newfoundland. The Abyssinian Mountain dog that Angus referred to is a mythical creature of his imagination.   Rohini and Angus are both coaches. They work...

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Shouting is Moaning on Steroids

Shouting is the new moaning and another great example of how we each live in our separate realities. In Angus' world, he was not shouting. In my world, he was shouting at me. Fortunately, I had perspective and didn’t take it personally this time, but I do have a preference not to be shouted at. Angus was able to hear this and recognize it is possible to not yell at the messenger. His other lesson was to be realistic about the outcome of giving his credit card to a teenager doing dorm room shopping. And Niko makes a guest appearance to remind...

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Time to Get Off My Soapbox!

Sometimes Angus feels compelled to have a moan, and sometimes I'm not able to be a good listener when he does. Rather than holding a loving space and saying "There, there, darling.", I get concerned and try to school him. This usually doesn't go well. So Angus decides it would be good for him to have a virtual assistant he can moan to, but he gets himself into hot water when he uses a term I take exception to.   Rohini and Angus are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders, and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love working...

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Parenting Teens Teaches Me to Walk the Line of Letting Go and Loving Without Attachment

You've got a way to keep me on your side You give me cause for love that I can't hide For you I know I'd even try to turn the tide Because you're mine, I walk the line ~ Johnny Cash, I Walk the Line   I am sitting on the Anacortes Ferry on my way to Sooke, B.C. to visit my mother. It has docked at Friday Harbor. The harbor is full of pleasure boats. There is a stationary seaplane gently floating up and down on the water. It is a tranquil view. I’m cozy in my black Patagonia jacket, normal summer wear for me...

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