relationships | Rohini Ross - Part 2

‘Tis the Season of Peace, Goodwill, and Holiday Stress

Angus and our youngest daughter got our Christmas tree last week. I purchased all of the girls stocking stuffers way ahead of time. Even though our daughters are young adults, we all love the Christmas morning ritual of them opening the gifts in their pillowcases. Angus's family used pillowcases rather than stockings. This seemed very practical, so we kept that tradition.   And even though this is the season of peace and goodwill, all of the festivities can come with the experience of extra pressure and holiday stress that can take a toll on health and relationships.   I have experienced internal pressure to...

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The Easy Recipe for Addressing Relationship Challenges

Spiritual teachings suggest that we are all beautiful, unique expressions of one source of life force. Each of us is an emanation of that divine light. That essence cannot be understood but is felt and recognized by qualities such as love, joy, peace, and well-being. This essence is not unique to us, but we all have a unique experience of that essence.   We each live in our separate reality. Each of us living in unique experiences can be challenging for intimate relationships, but recognizing that we are expressions of the same being makes compassion easier to find.   Botanist and citizen of the...

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Is Remembering Mortality Helpful in Relationships?

In a recent Rewilders' Community webinar, we were asked to speak on death. We had a poignant conversation with many sharing their experiences related to death, grief, near-death experiences, and the lessons learned. It made me think of the Latin phrase Memento Mori, which means to "remember that you must die." This phrase is not meant to be depressing but intended to illuminate and inspire one to live life fully in this moment. Memento Mori might seem like a depressing theme to use as inspiration for a relationship post, but I find it refreshing and practical.   Recently when Angus and I returned...

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Code Red in Relationships

Empathy is being able to understand what someone else is feeling or being able to see a situation from another person's point of view. The capacity to have empathy for another is essential for the success of intimate relationships. This is an obvious statement, but it is easier said than done.   When moods drop, and mental and emotional bandwidths shrink, empathy is hard to come by.   Humans tend to make assumptions and not realize they are doing so. We live in separate realities created through the filter of our thought systems and don't realize how far apart the way we see things...

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Navigating Irreconcilable Differences. Why Bother Trying?

Angus and I have been hearing from people who are implementing the guidance we share in our Rewilding Love podcast and experiencing shifts in their relationships. One of the reviews said the approach is working like magic. We have also heard how the issues we discuss such as trying to change your partner or navigating anger feel like we are speaking directly to the listener. This shows how universal relationship challenges are. But one of the pieces of feedback that stood out to me was about how dire the relationship in the podcast sounds. And the question was, "Wouldn’t it...

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Ten Relationship Basics

I’ve written about how I used to be super-sensitive in my relationship with Angus and how that created a negative downward spiral between us, with each of us adding more negativity to our communication with each other and slashing the feeling of goodwill between us in the process. . I would blame him for how I felt. I thought if only he were kinder and less irritable then I would be happier. I would voice my criticism. He would take my criticism personally and become less kind and more irritable in the process. . We managed to create a negative amount of goodwill in...

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Lessons Learned Making the Podcast Rewilding Love

This is not a post about how to make a podcast. This post is about inner learnings that have unfolded through the course of making a podcast that may be helpful or of interest.   They are:   The Power of Resolve Relationship Learning on Steroids It Takes a Team   The Power of Resolve   I often write about the importance of listening to the still quiet voice within and following the inner promptings. Seth Godin wrote a post recently that said, “Qarrtsiluni...

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The Importance of Presence

We are excited that our podcast Rewilding Love is launching next Tuesday, November 24th! We hope you will join us on the twists and turns of the journey with Alicia and Mateo as they decide whether or not they should stay or go in their marriage. And for this week after a deleted audio file debacle, Angus realized how detrimental a busy mind is and embraced presence more intentionally. This is a learning curve for both of us, and it makes a huge difference to the quality of our relationship as well.   Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” Listen to...

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I Don’t Need To Be Part of Your Meltdown

It seems obvious that it is fine to let someone have their emotional experience and give them space to have the dignity of their own experience, and even though we both know this intellectually we still can find ourselves getting pulled into each other's emotional reactivity at times trying to fix things with the seeming intent of helping the other person. But really it is more to do with the discomfort of being around the other person and their emotions. Rohini woke up in the middle of one of the moments and realized, "I don't need to be part of...

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Patience, Impatience, and Wellbeing

Rohini noticed how she had been lacking patience this week and realized it only happens when she forgets her wellbeing is found within. Angus uses his experience of being in the circular inferno of driving around LAX as a metaphor for what happens when he is grappling for control. Impatience is a normal part of the human experience, and it is a signal that lets us know the mind is spinning.   Angus & Rohini Ross are "the Rewilders." They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships by pointing them to their innate wisdom...

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