relationships | Rohini Ross - Part 20

He Said, She Said: Don’t Tell Me I’m Not Going to Die!

This week Angus and I share our birth story number two. It is even more intense than number 1. In terms of the general learning, it was an example of Angus seeing he didn't need to fix my emotional distress and that what was actually helpful was to hear my experience without trying to change it. And for me, I am simply grateful for what an amazing husband he is!   Angus and Rohini are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love working with couples and helping them reduce conflict and discord...

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Seeing We Hallucinate Reality Helps Relationships

I recently watched Anil Seth's Ted Talk Your Brain Hallucinates Your Conscious Reality. His research affirms Anaïs Nin's quote, "We don't see the world as it is, we see it as we are." Seth shares that what we perceive is a constructive process generated from the inside out. He says we create our experience of reality based on our brain's best guess at what is going on. He provides examples of illusions and experiments that demonstrate how easy it is for the brain's perceptions to be skewed.   In our daily life we are constantly filling in the blanks to try and make...

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He Said, She Said: Don’t Let Your Thinking Stop You

Angus is experiencing Vlog block due to getting caught up in his insecure thinking, but he proceeds anyway! I recognize the benefit of stepping into the unknown and seeing what emerges. Life has too many variables to work everything out ahead of time. Being responsive in the moment, real-time, is what is most important. This proved true when Angus was driving us to the hospital when I was in labor with our eldest daughter.   Angus and Rohini are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love working with couples and helping them...

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He Said, She Said: Angus’s Absentmindedness

There is a lot going on in this week's Vlog. We get photo bombed by our eldest daughter. Angus learns to keep his pants on and not check in at seedy motels on Facebook. On a more serious note, I see how my irritation with Angus's absent mindedness is only ever a result of the story in my head and nothing to do with him. Angus recognizes how he can use his feelings as a compass to let him know when it is not a good time to engage in communication with me.   Angus and Rohini are both coaches. They work...

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Relationship Challenges Aren’t Solved With Communication Skills

In his book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, John Gottman identifies criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling as the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse that predict the demise of a relationship. These styles of communication are all indicators that goodwill in the relationship is dismally low. Traditional relationship advice is to learn behavioral and communication skills to keep these Four Horsemen at bay. What this advice misses, however, is that couples don't have communication problems. They have challenges as the result of diminished goodwill. When there is a good feeling between two people, communication is never the problem, even when...

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He Said, She Said: Panic Attacks and Bouncing Back

This week I share my experience getting up close and personal with a panic attack. Angus shares an experience of sheer panic from years ago. It is amazing the power our thoughts have on our physiology as is our innate capacity to bounce back. It is such a relief to know we are designed to stabilize without any effort needed on our part. Seeing this makes it so much easier for me to surrender into what is -- at least more often. Add there is a good lesson on safe sex too!   Angus and Rohini are both coaches. They work with individuals,...

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Rebels Unleashed – Dealing with problems in a relationship! A different take!

Maggie G founder of Rebels Unleashed interviews me.   Rohini and I talk about her story, the story of her marriage to be exact, the crisis, the conflict, the misunderstandings and the divorce on the horizon. How did they manage to get over their problems and not only stay together but thrive as a happy couple today? We will be discussing the difference between the conventional approach to solving problems in relationships versus a different approach, a new understanding of where the problems actually come from.   Thank you for watching! Join Rebels Unleashed on Facebook! :-) https://www.facebook.com/rebelsunleas...

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He Said, She Said: Housekeeping Blues

Angus and I have different standards when it comes to housekeeping. This has been a source of resentment in the past. Many couple’s solve this issue by hiring help, but Angus is reticent to get a housekeeper due to a past mishap. So, we are forced to navigate our separate realities and find common ground – so far, so good thanks to his failing eye sight.   Angus and Rohini love working with couples and helping them reduce conflict and discord so they can experience more love and harmony in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized three-day couple's retreats that support the deepening...

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He Said, She Said: Assumptions aren’t Truth

It is easy to make assumptions, but they are often inaccurate -- sometimes in very amusing ways. Angus and I both make wrong assumptions about dogs. Also, I still don't understand Angus' English sense of humor, and take him too seriously even after all these years together.   Angus and Rohini love working with couples and helping them reduce conflict and discord so they can experience more love and harmony in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized three-day couple's retreats that support the deepening of connection and understanding. We work with couples who are struggling and couples who would like to deepen the love and intimacy...

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He Said, She Said: Annoying Habits

This week’s Vlog is about my annoying habits. Angus talks about some of my habits that he no longer finds annoying because he understands that he feels his thinking and not my behavior. This helped me to get over being stubborn about my behavior. He also fesses up to some OCD quirks of his own.   Angus and Rohini love working with couples and helping them reduce conflict and discord so they can experience more love and harmony in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized three-day couple's retreats that support the deepening of connection and understanding. We work with couples who are struggling and...

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