He Said, She Said: Fighting sucks, but it is not the end of the world

We thought we would get more sleep with teenagers. They don't wake up until noon when they are on vacation, but we forgot the flip side of the late nights. Angus and I were feeling a little worse for wear from lack of sleep, and we really got duped by our reactive thinking. We both fell into believing it, and woke up believing too. That is highly unusual for us now, but it happened nonetheless. We eventually settled. We finally saw each other more clearly, and felt the love that is.   It can be scary when this happens. The intensity of...

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A Love Poem for the Holidays and Beyond

Today it is Christmas But what does it mean? Not everyone celebrates We all live in our own dream.   What if the celebration is really of love? That is what unifies us, And it doesn't come from above.   Love is what is natural. Love is what is true. It is love that we share, And it can be with love that we do.   May your Holiday Season Be one filled with love. May you embrace all those close And feel the warmth of their hugs.   But the foundation is inside. The love is within. That is where it all starts. The end, the beginning, and all in between.   The world has its sorrows And you have your own. But the richest resource is...

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The Benefits of Being “All In” in Relationships and Life

Recently I have been surrounded by loss in my life and in my clients' lives. Recognizing the temporary and fragile nature of life has a way of clarifying priorities. In Bronnie Ware's book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, she shares that most prevalent regrets of the people she worked with in palliative care are:   I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. I wish I hadn't worked so hard. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings. I wish I had stayed in touch with...

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Half a Cup of Criticism and a Gallon of Vitriol

A recipe for relationship disaster, but with the understanding that these dire moments are only temporary, and they do not reflect the love that is real, it is much easier to get over resentment and upset. Our marriage is so much more fun and easy now we don't take our worst moments seriously. We recognize they are only a reflection of being temporarily destabilized. It is a relief to have room for our humanness in our marriage and to see the amazing ability we have to bounce back and feel the love in our hearts.   Angus and Rohini are both coaches....

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The Learning Curve of Being Human

We are all on the learning curve of being spiritual beings having a human experience, and we all have various learning curves we are navigating within that. Learning curves can be fun and exciting, especially when we are able to see that no matter where we are in the process, we are doing the best that we can and that is good enough. When we see this, we have an open mind. We are able to learn without attachment. This makes it easy to engage in learning, and the real-time feedback of our wisdom in the moment is more obvious...

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He Said, She Said: A Bump in the Bed

This week Angus and I discuss hitting a bump in the road (or as Angus said, “a bump in the bed”) because I was impatient about us getting back into a good feeling with each other. Angus was disappointed about not getting his “nookie”, and I wasn’t able to give him space to let him settle. Consequently, things snowballed. Fortunately, it didn’t take long for us to get our perspective back and to stop taking our dire thoughts and comments seriously. It is nice to know we have the resilience to bounce back time and time again. And it is...

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He Said, She Said: You’re Not Listening!

Angus and I have different tempos of communication. I tend to be more rapid fire, whereas Angus likes to take his time assimilating information. This can result in large chunks of information never making into Angus’s conscious awareness. It often goes unnoticed until a ball gets dropped. When this happens, Angus and I can get ensconced in our separate realities with me thinking Angus doesn’t listen to me, and Angus thinking I am calling him stupid.   When we commit to our separate realities rather than trying to understand each other, communication breaks down and goodwill melts away. But, when we...

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Free Webinar: The Three Principles and Relationships

Join Angus and I for this webinar where we will share the impact the understanding of the Three Principles has had on our relationship, and how it can help you have greater intimacy, less conflict, and fall in love even more in yours. Or if you are single, and want to be in relationship, we will explore how this understanding can support being more engaged and open to being in an intimate, loving relationship.   Time: Oct 30, 2017 7:30 PM Pacific Time (US and Canada)   Join from PC, Mac, Linux, iOS or Android: https://zoom.us/j/210575506   Or iPhone one-tap : US: +16699006833,,210575506# or +14086380968,,210575506# Or Telephone: Dial(for higher...

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He Said, She Said: Emotional Waterboarding

Enjoy this week’s Vlog where Angus and I talk about a common relationship pitfall of trying to works things out from a low state of mind. We once managed to spend a whole long weekend in Milan trying to work out our relationship issues rather than enjoying our time together. Angus refers to it as emotional waterboarding.   It is so much easier and more productive to look in the direction of your true nature and recognize your innate resilience and ability to stabilize. When you are more connected with your wellbeing, you can then see your relationship from the clear, open...

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He Said, She Said: Humor Wins Over Seriousness

Angus derails my seriousness, but concurs that chronic stress is not good for relationships. The good news is that stress is an inside job. When you see this, it makes it so much easier to drop the stressful thinking, and then you naturally get filled up with your innate wellbeing. Relationships thrive when people experience their innate wellbeing and recognize stressful thinking will disappear on its own when left alone. Goodwill is contagious!   Angus and Rohini are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love working with couples and helping them reduce...

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