Love | Rohini Ross - Part 12

He Said, She Said: Emotional Waterboarding

Enjoy this week’s Vlog where Angus and I talk about a common relationship pitfall of trying to works things out from a low state of mind. We once managed to spend a whole long weekend in Milan trying to work out our relationship issues rather than enjoying our time together. Angus refers to it as emotional waterboarding.   It is so much easier and more productive to look in the direction of your true nature and recognize your innate resilience and ability to stabilize. When you are more connected with your wellbeing, you can then see your relationship from the clear, open...

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He Said, She Said: Humor Wins Over Seriousness

Angus derails my seriousness, but concurs that chronic stress is not good for relationships. The good news is that stress is an inside job. When you see this, it makes it so much easier to drop the stressful thinking, and then you naturally get filled up with your innate wellbeing. Relationships thrive when people experience their innate wellbeing and recognize stressful thinking will disappear on its own when left alone. Goodwill is contagious!   Angus and Rohini are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love working with couples and helping them reduce...

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A Reformed Commitment-Phobe: Who Knew a Relationship Could be so Fun and Easy

I watched the 3PGC Webinar with George and Linda Pransky this week about relationships. I loved what they shared about the importance of goodwill and being on the same team. There was also another theme that really struck a chord with me and that was related to commitment. Linda Pransky said something along the lines of it is simply easier to be 100% committed in a relationship because it takes a lot of thinking off the table. I found this to be absolutely congruent with my experience, but what was interesting to me was how I got to being committed. I realized...

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He Said, She Said: Don’t Tell Me I’m Not Going to Die!

This week Angus and I share our birth story number two. It is even more intense than number 1. In terms of the general learning, it was an example of Angus seeing he didn't need to fix my emotional distress and that what was actually helpful was to hear my experience without trying to change it. And for me, I am simply grateful for what an amazing husband he is!   Angus and Rohini are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love working with couples and helping them reduce conflict and discord...

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Relationship Challenges Aren’t Solved With Communication Skills

In his book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, John Gottman identifies criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling as the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse that predict the demise of a relationship. These styles of communication are all indicators that goodwill in the relationship is dismally low. Traditional relationship advice is to learn behavioral and communication skills to keep these Four Horsemen at bay. What this advice misses, however, is that couples don't have communication problems. They have challenges as the result of diminished goodwill. When there is a good feeling between two people, communication is never the problem, even when...

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A Deal Breaker Today Could Rule Out the Love of Your Life Tomorrow

Angus and I have been working with several couples recently where the subject of deal breakers has come up. They thought it would be a good idea to clarify deal breakers in service to deciding whether or not to move forward with their relationships. When I look back on my relationship with Angus, I realize there were many things that I would have considered to be deal breakers early on in our relationship if I had thought this way, but they turned out not to be.   One that comes to mind is that I was absolutely committed to being a stay-at-home...

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He Said, She Said: Arguments Aren’t the End of the World

We are not perfect! Sometimes we don't listen to our own sensible advice. The good news is we are resilient and able to get over ourselves. This allows us to rebound from arguments much more quickly than in the past. Ultimately, love prevails even when we do not act our best -- what a relief!   Angus and Rohini love to work with couples and help them reduce conflict and discord so they can experience more love and harmony in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized three-day couple's retreats that support the deepening of connection and understanding. We work with couples who are struggling and couples...

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He Said, She Said: Forgetfulness isn’t Personal

Angus is not forgetful. He is just living in the present moment. Rohini has an opportunity to not take Angus' ultra zen present moment way of being personally. And zen and forgetfulness aside, love is always our Super Power. Thank you Theresa and Bradford of SuperLove Tees for our t-shirts -- we love them!   Also, click here for the link to the upcoming workshop "Relationship Essentials" that Angus and I are facilitating with Mark and Carrie Sisson. Come and explore what supports lasting love and deepening intimacy in relationships.   Angus and Rohini love to work with couples and help them reduce conflict and...

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He Said, She Said: Denying Restorative Cuddles Is Bad For Rapport

Angus shares how invisible thinking can be at times related to low moods, and how easy it is for conflict to ensue. Rohini speaks to the humanness of our moods even when we know we create our experience from our own thoughts, and acknowledges that it can be hard to see thought as the culprit of upset in real time.   Also, click here for the link to the upcoming workshop "Relationship Essentials" Angus and I are facilitating with Carrie and Mark Sisson.   Angus and Rohini love to work with couples and help them reduce conflict and discord so they can experience more love...

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Sex and Marriage: Go Together Like a Horse and Carriage?

Recently my husband Angus and I did our Friday Vlog about sex. He was reticent to talk about our experience in this area, but I managed to convince him to do it since this is a subject that is challenging for many couples, especially couples in long-term relationships no matter what their sexual orientation. Sex often comes up as an issue for our clients even if it has nothing to do with the coaching they signed up for.   For us, it is an area of great learning. I can see now how the quality and richness of our sex life is a litmus...

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