He Said, She Said: A Bump in the Bed

This week Angus and I discuss hitting a bump in the road (or as Angus said, “a bump in the bed”) because I was impatient about us getting back into a good feeling with each other. Angus was disappointed about not getting his “nookie”, and I wasn’t able to give him space to let him settle. Consequently, things snowballed. Fortunately, it didn’t take long for us to get our perspective back and to stop taking our dire thoughts and comments seriously. It is nice to know we have the resilience to bounce back time and time again. And it is...

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He Said, She Said: You’re Not Listening!

Angus and I have different tempos of communication. I tend to be more rapid fire, whereas Angus likes to take his time assimilating information. This can result in large chunks of information never making into Angus’s conscious awareness. It often goes unnoticed until a ball gets dropped. When this happens, Angus and I can get ensconced in our separate realities with me thinking Angus doesn’t listen to me, and Angus thinking I am calling him stupid.   When we commit to our separate realities rather than trying to understand each other, communication breaks down and goodwill melts away. But, when we...

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He Said, She Said: Emotional Waterboarding

Enjoy this week’s Vlog where Angus and I talk about a common relationship pitfall of trying to works things out from a low state of mind. We once managed to spend a whole long weekend in Milan trying to work out our relationship issues rather than enjoying our time together. Angus refers to it as emotional waterboarding.   It is so much easier and more productive to look in the direction of your true nature and recognize your innate resilience and ability to stabilize. When you are more connected with your wellbeing, you can then see your relationship from the clear, open...

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He Said, She Said: Angus, Snogging, and Rejection Phobia

This week I get accused of being nosey because I was curious about our teenagers love lives, or lack there of, but their unwillingness to be forthcoming leads to Angus regaling us with his stories of snogging at tennis club discos, getting his heart broken, and developing a rejection phobia that prevented him from calling girls. If only he knew then what he knows now, but then again, we might not be together if he did.   Angus and Rohini are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love working with couples and...

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He Said, She Said: Authenticity

This week Angus gets serious, while I am still plotting my prank. Angus points to the benefits of not looking at the scoreboard and instead enjoying being in the present moment and playing the game life to the best of our abilities. Very wise of him!   Angus and Rohini are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love working with couples and helping them reduce conflict and discord so they can experience more love and harmony in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized three-day couples intensives that support the deepening of connection and...

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He Said, She Said: Humor Wins Over Seriousness

Angus derails my seriousness, but concurs that chronic stress is not good for relationships. The good news is that stress is an inside job. When you see this, it makes it so much easier to drop the stressful thinking, and then you naturally get filled up with your innate wellbeing. Relationships thrive when people experience their innate wellbeing and recognize stressful thinking will disappear on its own when left alone. Goodwill is contagious!   Angus and Rohini are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love working with couples and helping them reduce...

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He Said, She Said: Eccentricities and Quirks Charming or Deal-breakers

Eccentricities and quirks in our partner are amusing and even charming when there is goodwill. However, they can look like the cause of incompatibility when you are in a low mood. Angus and I share how we are much better at dealing with our differences now. Angus gives the example of how he still finds my sleep inconsistencies baffling, but not a cause of conflict, and I can't resist sharing about his nighttime howling.   Angus and Rohini are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love working with couples and helping them...

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He Said, She Said: Don’t Tell Me I’m Not Going to Die!

This week Angus and I share our birth story number two. It is even more intense than number 1. In terms of the general learning, it was an example of Angus seeing he didn't need to fix my emotional distress and that what was actually helpful was to hear my experience without trying to change it. And for me, I am simply grateful for what an amazing husband he is!   Angus and Rohini are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love working with couples and helping them reduce conflict and discord...

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He Said, She Said: Don’t Let Your Thinking Stop You

Angus is experiencing Vlog block due to getting caught up in his insecure thinking, but he proceeds anyway! I recognize the benefit of stepping into the unknown and seeing what emerges. Life has too many variables to work everything out ahead of time. Being responsive in the moment, real-time, is what is most important. This proved true when Angus was driving us to the hospital when I was in labor with our eldest daughter.   Angus and Rohini are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love working with couples and helping them...

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He Said, She Said: Angus’s Absentmindedness

There is a lot going on in this week's Vlog. We get photo bombed by our eldest daughter. Angus learns to keep his pants on and not check in at seedy motels on Facebook. On a more serious note, I see how my irritation with Angus's absent mindedness is only ever a result of the story in my head and nothing to do with him. Angus recognizes how he can use his feelings as a compass to let him know when it is not a good time to engage in communication with me.   Angus and Rohini are both coaches. They work...

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