He Said, She Said: Authenticity in Relationships

In this week's Vlog, we point to the importance of authenticity for experiencing intimacy in relationships. This may be obvious, but it is not always easy. And sometimes it is invisible to us when we are not showing up in an honest way.   The opportunity for me is to trust in both Angus's and my resilience so I speak up rather than soldiering on and maintaining an unhealthy status quo. When I do this I am usually surprised by how easy it is to share what is important.   Let me know what supports intimacy in your relationships. And if you would like to...

Read More

He Said, She Said: Eliminating Relationship Baggage

Angus recalls the time I barricaded him out of our apartment, and then my therapist told me I had abandonment issues. Angus thought he brought his own baggage to our relationship as well. We both accepted these limitations as part of who we were and resigned ourselves to a challenging relationship because of them.   We are both so grateful to the understanding of the principles that helps us see that we don't have issues. All we have is thought in the moment that temporarily gets in the way of us experiencing peace of mind and our true loving nature. It was...

Read More

He Said, She Said: Problems Are a State of Mind

Do you have a problem in your life? Angus thought he had a real problem when our rescue pup Niko would not let us sit on the couch without jumping on us and biting us. He wasn’t aggressive. He was just trying to play. But his play was rough, and he wouldn’t stop. His teeth would leave bruises and even draw blood. Our attempts to discipline him were futile. When we tried to stop him, he thought we were playing, and this excited him and gave him more energy to keep going. He also had not been crated trained so...

Read More

He Said, She Said: Angus’s Screen Saver Mode

Angus shares how he needs time to rev up in the mornings, and how when he chills, he goes into screen saver mode. This mode can result in communication problems with Rohini because she thinks Angus's brain is fully functioning when it is actually off-line. Angus sees the benefit of letting her know when he needs space so he doesn't get resentful and so there aren't misunderstandings. Join Angus and Rohini at their upcoming workshop in Topanga April 28-29. Click here for more information.   Angus and Rohini are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders, and organizations to increase performance and success....

Read More

He Said, She Said: Understanding Is What is Needed to Find Solution for Public Safety

Angus talks about the cultural differences between England and the US regarding the ownership of guns. He has his own experience of heightened security growing up during the era of IRA bombings in London. Rohini points to the importance of being able to find common ground related to this issue in order to find a solution. This requires mutual understanding and respect between opposing sides. Angus and I agree that shootings are the result of someone with a destabilized mind buying into the misunderstanding that reacting to and acting on their destabilized thinking is a good idea. We also support...

Read More

He Said, She Said: Sex and Connection

Is it Shrek? Is it a giant and a pygmy in a shed, or is it Angus and Rohini in their sauna talking about what used to get in the way of sex? Or how even now they may have to navigate different levels of desire. As Angus says, it is all about connection. There is more than one way to get there, but that is what we both want.   And, I do know that Angus did not cause my resentment. I was just taking his behavior personally rather than being able to understand and have compassion for his suffering. If...

Read More

He Said, She Said: More Peace, Less Reactivity

Angus shares how he is experiencing greater freedom from his reactive thoughts. He can have them without feeling compelled to act on them. I can certainly take a leaf out of his book. We are enjoying the peace and looking forward to a relaxing weekend of recharging!   Angus and Rohini are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders, and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love working with couples and helping them reduce conflict and discord so they can experience more love and harmony in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized three-day couples intensives that support the deepening of connection...

Read More

He Said, She Said: Getting a Thicker Skin is Good for Relationships

Angus re-enacts a prank he played on me that he thought would be funny but that actually terrified me. I may not be ready for more pranks, but I have got a lot better about not taking things personally. This has made our relationship so much easier. I love the greater levels of light-heartedness we both experience simply from seeing the fluid nature of thought and experience and recognizing our natural tendency as human beings is to drop into feelings of love and wellbeing -- so reassuring!   Angus and Rohini are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders and organizations to...

Read More

He Said, She Said: Not Feasting on Negative Thoughts

I forced Angus to throw me a 50th birthday party against his will. You will find out what a mean wife I am. Angus also shares some pearls of wisdom about not feasting on his negative thoughts.     Angus and Rohini are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love working with couples and helping them reduce conflict and discord so they can experience more love and harmony in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized three-day couples intensives that support the deepening of connection and understanding. They work with couples who are struggling and...

Read More

He Said, She Said: One Year Vlog Anniversary

We are celebrating ?? our one year anniversary of doing the Vlog! Thank you for all of you support and kindness! ?? ? We so appreciate being in this exploration with YOU. It is music to our ears when we here the Vlog has been helpful or even that it has simply brought you a smile. And Angus did realize the song is by Human League and not The Killers. ? Sending you love!   Angus and Rohini are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love working with couples and helping them reduce conflict and discord so they can...

Read More