Rohini Ross | Formats Video

He Said, She Said: Separate Realities and Germs

Angus and I live in separate realities when it comes to dirt and germs. He has a lot more thinking about them than I do. His coping mechanism for dealing with all that thought is hand sanitizer and hand washing. We aren’t going to see things the same way any time soon, but we have found a lighthearted way to be with each other about it. We can accept that reality looks different for us in this area and then find ways to navigate the differences that work for both of us.   I have to let go of my judgment that...

Read More

He Said, She Said: More on Angus’ Absentmindedness

This time Angus keeps his pants on but loses a baby. In order for our relationship to work, I needed to learn that my wellbeing was not dependent on Angus having a good memory or being focused. It looked like it was for many years, but finally, I got to see more clearly that my upset was not coming from his behavior. This helped me to get over my frustration and incredulity so much more quickly and accept Angus as he is, absentmindedness included. It was better for us and better for me! Do you have something in your life...

Read More

He Said, She Said: Becoming Less Reactive to Criticism

Angus and I usually get a deeper understanding of the Principles before we present a workshop. This time we each got to learn from seeing how we can get reactive with each other related to brainstorming. From seeing this, we were able to take our sensitivities more lightly. This allowed the workshop preparation process to be so much more kind and fun. I had room for Angus to be sensitive to my comments and didn't take it personally if he got prickly. This allowed him to see he was reacting to his own thinking and not me. We each got...

Read More

He Said, She Said: Authenticity in Relationships

In this week's Vlog, we point to the importance of authenticity for experiencing intimacy in relationships. This may be obvious, but it is not always easy. And sometimes it is invisible to us when we are not showing up in an honest way.   The opportunity for me is to trust in both Angus's and my resilience so I speak up rather than soldiering on and maintaining an unhealthy status quo. When I do this I am usually surprised by how easy it is to share what is important.   Let me know what supports intimacy in your relationships. And if you would like to...

Read More

He Said, She Said: Eliminating Relationship Baggage

Angus recalls the time I barricaded him out of our apartment, and then my therapist told me I had abandonment issues. Angus thought he brought his own baggage to our relationship as well. We both accepted these limitations as part of who we were and resigned ourselves to a challenging relationship because of them.   We are both so grateful to the understanding of the principles that helps us see that we don't have issues. All we have is thought in the moment that temporarily gets in the way of us experiencing peace of mind and our true loving nature. It was...

Read More

He Said, She Said: Problems Are a State of Mind

Do you have a problem in your life? Angus thought he had a real problem when our rescue pup Niko would not let us sit on the couch without jumping on us and biting us. He wasn’t aggressive. He was just trying to play. But his play was rough, and he wouldn’t stop. His teeth would leave bruises and even draw blood. Our attempts to discipline him were futile. When we tried to stop him, he thought we were playing, and this excited him and gave him more energy to keep going. He also had not been crated trained so...

Read More

He Said, She Said: Angus’s Screen Saver Mode

Angus shares how he needs time to rev up in the mornings, and how when he chills, he goes into screen saver mode. This mode can result in communication problems with Rohini because she thinks Angus's brain is fully functioning when it is actually off-line. Angus sees the benefit of letting her know when he needs space so he doesn't get resentful and so there aren't misunderstandings. Join Angus and Rohini at their upcoming workshop in Topanga April 28-29. Click here for more information.   Angus and Rohini are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders, and organizations to increase performance and success....

Read More

He Said, She Said: Understanding Is What is Needed to Find Solution for Public Safety

Angus talks about the cultural differences between England and the US regarding the ownership of guns. He has his own experience of heightened security growing up during the era of IRA bombings in London. Rohini points to the importance of being able to find common ground related to this issue in order to find a solution. This requires mutual understanding and respect between opposing sides. Angus and I agree that shootings are the result of someone with a destabilized mind buying into the misunderstanding that reacting to and acting on their destabilized thinking is a good idea. We also support...

Read More

He Said, She Said: Sex and Connection

Is it Shrek? Is it a giant and a pygmy in a shed, or is it Angus and Rohini in their sauna talking about what used to get in the way of sex? Or how even now they may have to navigate different levels of desire. As Angus says, it is all about connection. There is more than one way to get there, but that is what we both want.   And, I do know that Angus did not cause my resentment. I was just taking his behavior personally rather than being able to understand and have compassion for his suffering. If...

Read More

He Said, She Said: More Peace, Less Reactivity

Angus shares how he is experiencing greater freedom from his reactive thoughts. He can have them without feeling compelled to act on them. I can certainly take a leaf out of his book. We are enjoying the peace and looking forward to a relaxing weekend of recharging!   Angus and Rohini are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders, and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love working with couples and helping them reduce conflict and discord so they can experience more love and harmony in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized three-day couples intensives that support the deepening of connection...

Read More