Differences Are Only a Problem in a Low Mood

I don’t really sleep under a tarpaulin. For some reason Angus has taken exception to my weighted blanket. And he can get annoyed with my temperature needs that are different than his own, even though I am used to wearing extra layers, especially in the car. ?❄❄❄   But the point we are making is that from a good mood these differences are not issues or problems. They can be amusing, but they are not challenging. However, from a low mood they, and other differences between us, can look like real problems. ??   We have both gotten better at recognizing when we are...

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Rohini is Just So Forward

In this week’s Vlog, you get to see how Rohini's ability to take on the journey of life and course correct like a nimble sloop has shown a lot more virtue than Angus’ steady as you go freight ship! Rohini’s will to get out on the open sea as quickly as possible proves to be a lot more fruitful than Angus’ need to stay in the harbor worrying about the Leviathan.   Rohini and Angus are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders, and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love working with couples and helping them reduce conflict and...

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The Soul-Centered Series: Webinar With Elsie Spittle

In this webinar, Elsie shares what she is seeing fresh regarding her understanding of the Principles. She takes you to the heart and soul of Sydney Banks's teaching and points beyond the words to the wisdom that is available to all of us.   To learn more about the six-month program The Soul-Centered Series with the original students of Sydney Banks click here....

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Lost Car Key Frenzy

Angus had an adventure with lost car keys. His fear of disappointing others got in the way of his clarity and he lost his bearings. He knew he was back on solid ground when he was able to find humor in the situation. Angus was able to see how he had been revving his thinking up not realizing he had lost his bearings. Knowing when we are in a storm of thinking is helpful because we recognize it will pass. It is also more obvious to be more gentle with ourselves as we ride out the distress and easier to...

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Changing Habitual Thought Patterns

We all have habitual thought patterns. Neuroscience has coined Canadian neuropsychologist's phrase, “neurons that fire together wire together.” This is very useful for automated activities that we don’t want to have to relearn from scratch every time, but it becomes problematic when we develop negative neural pathways that become automatic like Angus constantly reinforcing his statement that he is tired rather than just getting on with his day. The good news is that science is revealing the resilience of the brain in its neuroplasticity. The brain is far more adaptive and flexible than previously thought.   When looking beyond our habituated thoughts...

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Bossiness is in the Eye of the Beholder

This is not an example of Angus at his best with listening. He normally does a better job of disguising his inattentiveness, but it is a good example of how we each live in our own separate reality. I can think I am being helpful and Angus can think I am bossy. What is even more amazing is I can be doing the same thing and from one state of mind, Angus can see me as helpful and from another state of mind he can see me as bossy. I can also be completely blind to my bossiness and see...

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Sh*t heads are love too!

Blooper included in the video highlighting our message that there is room for humanness in life. We don’t always have to be our best. The world doesn’t end when we get reactive. I used to feel so fragile in the face of Angus’ reactivity and irritability. I wanted him to change. It never occurred to me that I didn’t have to take his behavior personally. I didn’t realize it was even possible, and I was blind to my own reactivity.   I focused on his and ignored my own. I expected him to change. I badgered and complained and nagged. He would...

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He Said, She Said: Separate Realities and Germs

Angus and I live in separate realities when it comes to dirt and germs. He has a lot more thinking about them than I do. His coping mechanism for dealing with all that thought is hand sanitizer and hand washing. We aren’t going to see things the same way any time soon, but we have found a lighthearted way to be with each other about it. We can accept that reality looks different for us in this area and then find ways to navigate the differences that work for both of us.   I have to let go of my judgment that...

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He Said, She Said: More on Angus’ Absentmindedness

This time Angus keeps his pants on but loses a baby. In order for our relationship to work, I needed to learn that my wellbeing was not dependent on Angus having a good memory or being focused. It looked like it was for many years, but finally, I got to see more clearly that my upset was not coming from his behavior. This helped me to get over my frustration and incredulity so much more quickly and accept Angus as he is, absentmindedness included. It was better for us and better for me! Do you have something in your life...

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He Said, She Said: Becoming Less Reactive to Criticism

Angus and I usually get a deeper understanding of the Principles before we present a workshop. This time we each got to learn from seeing how we can get reactive with each other related to brainstorming. From seeing this, we were able to take our sensitivities more lightly. This allowed the workshop preparation process to be so much more kind and fun. I had room for Angus to be sensitive to my comments and didn't take it personally if he got prickly. This allowed him to see he was reacting to his own thinking and not me. We each got...

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