relationship advice | Rohini Ross - Part 14

He Said, She Said: You’re Not Listening!

Angus and I have different tempos of communication. I tend to be more rapid fire, whereas Angus likes to take his time assimilating information. This can result in large chunks of information never making into Angus’s conscious awareness. It often goes unnoticed until a ball gets dropped. When this happens, Angus and I can get ensconced in our separate realities with me thinking Angus doesn’t listen to me, and Angus thinking I am calling him stupid.   When we commit to our separate realities rather than trying to understand each other, communication breaks down and goodwill melts away. But, when we...

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Free Webinar: The Three Principles and Relationships

Join Angus and I for this webinar where we will share the impact the understanding of the Three Principles has had on our relationship, and how it can help you have greater intimacy, less conflict, and fall in love even more in yours. Or if you are single, and want to be in relationship, we will explore how this understanding can support being more engaged and open to being in an intimate, loving relationship.   Time: Oct 30, 2017 7:30 PM Pacific Time (US and Canada)   Join from PC, Mac, Linux, iOS or Android: https://zoom.us/j/210575506   Or iPhone one-tap : US: +16699006833,,210575506# or +14086380968,,210575506# Or Telephone: Dial(for higher...

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He Said, She Said: Emotional Waterboarding

Enjoy this week’s Vlog where Angus and I talk about a common relationship pitfall of trying to works things out from a low state of mind. We once managed to spend a whole long weekend in Milan trying to work out our relationship issues rather than enjoying our time together. Angus refers to it as emotional waterboarding.   It is so much easier and more productive to look in the direction of your true nature and recognize your innate resilience and ability to stabilize. When you are more connected with your wellbeing, you can then see your relationship from the clear, open...

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He Said, She Said: Angus, Snogging, and Rejection Phobia

This week I get accused of being nosey because I was curious about our teenagers love lives, or lack there of, but their unwillingness to be forthcoming leads to Angus regaling us with his stories of snogging at tennis club discos, getting his heart broken, and developing a rejection phobia that prevented him from calling girls. If only he knew then what he knows now, but then again, we might not be together if he did.   Angus and Rohini are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love working with couples and...

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He Said, She Said: Humor Wins Over Seriousness

Angus derails my seriousness, but concurs that chronic stress is not good for relationships. The good news is that stress is an inside job. When you see this, it makes it so much easier to drop the stressful thinking, and then you naturally get filled up with your innate wellbeing. Relationships thrive when people experience their innate wellbeing and recognize stressful thinking will disappear on its own when left alone. Goodwill is contagious!   Angus and Rohini are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love working with couples and helping them reduce...

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He Said, She Said: Eccentricities and Quirks Charming or Deal-breakers

Eccentricities and quirks in our partner are amusing and even charming when there is goodwill. However, they can look like the cause of incompatibility when you are in a low mood. Angus and I share how we are much better at dealing with our differences now. Angus gives the example of how he still finds my sleep inconsistencies baffling, but not a cause of conflict, and I can't resist sharing about his nighttime howling.   Angus and Rohini are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love working with couples and helping them...

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A Reformed Commitment-Phobe: Who Knew a Relationship Could be so Fun and Easy

I watched the 3PGC Webinar with George and Linda Pransky this week about relationships. I loved what they shared about the importance of goodwill and being on the same team. There was also another theme that really struck a chord with me and that was related to commitment. Linda Pransky said something along the lines of it is simply easier to be 100% committed in a relationship because it takes a lot of thinking off the table. I found this to be absolutely congruent with my experience, but what was interesting to me was how I got to being committed. I realized...

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He Said, She Said: Don’t Tell Me I’m Not Going to Die!

This week Angus and I share our birth story number two. It is even more intense than number 1. In terms of the general learning, it was an example of Angus seeing he didn't need to fix my emotional distress and that what was actually helpful was to hear my experience without trying to change it. And for me, I am simply grateful for what an amazing husband he is!   Angus and Rohini are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love working with couples and helping them reduce conflict and discord...

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Seeing We Hallucinate Reality Helps Relationships

I recently watched Anil Seth's Ted Talk Your Brain Hallucinates Your Conscious Reality. His research affirms Anaïs Nin's quote, "We don't see the world as it is, we see it as we are." Seth shares that what we perceive is a constructive process generated from the inside out. He says we create our experience of reality based on our brain's best guess at what is going on. He provides examples of illusions and experiments that demonstrate how easy it is for the brain's perceptions to be skewed.   In our daily life we are constantly filling in the blanks to try and make...

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He Said, She Said: Angus’s Absentmindedness

There is a lot going on in this week's Vlog. We get photo bombed by our eldest daughter. Angus learns to keep his pants on and not check in at seedy motels on Facebook. On a more serious note, I see how my irritation with Angus's absent mindedness is only ever a result of the story in my head and nothing to do with him. Angus recognizes how he can use his feelings as a compass to let him know when it is not a good time to engage in communication with me.   Angus and Rohini are both coaches. They work...

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