relationship advice | Rohini Ross - Part 11

My Most Shameful Experience Pointed Me Toward Freedom

As preparation for the Soul-Centered Series free webinar with Jack Pransky, I read his latest book Seduced by Consciousness. I really enjoyed the first book I read of his, Somebody Should Have Told Us and was not disappointed with this one. In the book, Jack shares his insights into relationships. And it reminded me of a very painful learning curve I experienced in my marriage.   In the early days of being married to Angus, I would occasionally find myself attracted to another man. It would never be intentional. It would just happen and then it would pass. I would get over...

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The “D” Word

The "D" word is something that Angus and I used to consider frequently. I didn't even know it was on his mind as much as mine until this Vlog. I was just more vocal about it. Now, however, it isn't even a consideration for either of us.   The big game changer for us was seeing that a low mood is an indicator to not take our thinking seriously. We would only ever end up coming to the conclusion that divorce was the answer when we were in a low mood state. We have both learned not to think about what looks...

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Goodwill is the Fertile Soil that Allows Relationships to Thrive

I had some of my reflections after watching the live-stream of the Pransky and Associates Working with Couples Training this weekend. The importance of goodwill in a relationship stood out to me as essential. It is as vital the richness of soil is for plants to grow in. If goodwill is low, it is impossible for a relationship to thrive, and goodwill is not about loving your partner in an abstract sense. It is authentic day-to-day warmth, appreciation, kindness and genuinely liking your partner. It is practical and felt.   If goodwill is low in a relationship, it is likely the result of...

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Time to Get Off My Soapbox!

Sometimes Angus feels compelled to have a moan, and sometimes I'm not able to be a good listener when he does. Rather than holding a loving space and saying "There, there, darling.", I get concerned and try to school him. This usually doesn't go well. So Angus decides it would be good for him to have a virtual assistant he can moan to, but he gets himself into hot water when he uses a term I take exception to.   Rohini and Angus are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders, and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love working...

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Angus Doesn’t Have to Conquer Fear to Experience More Peace of Mind

Angus has a fear of heights, but what he has noticed is that the initial fear isn’t so bad as long as he doesn’t add-on additional anxious thoughts to his experience. We use this Vlog to test out his hypothesis by walking over the Deception Pass bridge. Angus has the initial lizard brain activation of anxiety, but he is able to ignore the extraneous thoughts that are calling for his attention and doesn’t get stuck on the bridge unable to move. Hopefully, this vlog will help all of us to see where we can ignore our thinking when it is...

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Sometimes Shame Gets the Better of Us

Angus shares how he feels he did a bad job with public speaking. I point out that it is impossible for him to know how he did when he is experiencing so much self-judgment. It is easy to be hard on ourselves when we are gripped by our thoughts of shame and feeling the effect of them. Going over what happened does not help. It breathes more life into the critical thoughts and results in more intense feelings of shame and less perspective. The best way we have found to navigate shame is to recognize when what we are thinking...

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How the Principles Helped Me Go From One Foot Out the Door to Being “All In” in my Marriage

In this 3PGC webinar, Rohini speaks to how the understanding of the Principles transformed her relationship with herself and her husband. Instead of being at the effect of her insecure thinking, she was able to find an inner foundation of security that allowed her to be “all-in” in her marriage and her life.   Become a 3PGC member: http://www.3pgc.org and receive all the email announcements about the webinars and more.   Rohini Ross is the founder and presenter of The Soul-Centered Series: Psychology, Spirituality and the Teachings of Sydney Banks that starts October 2018 in Santa Monica, CA. She is passionate about helping people...

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Low Moods Pass Naturally

Our thinking can get really stirred up at times. The main warning sign that this is happening is a low mood. Low moods, however, don’t mean anything about us. They are temporary states of mind and will naturally pass. The less we do anything about them, and the less we try to fix our mood, the quicker we find ourselves back at normal. It is, however, helpful to know when our thinking is stirred up. We can then take that into consideration as we live life. If Angus had taken this into account, he might have paid more attention when...

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Rohini’s Nocturnal Foibles

I have a reputation of being able to sleep through anything other than the slightest of electronic sounds. Angus makes a good point in the Vlog that the difference is that I have more thinking about electronic noises and judgments about him not turning off his phone than I do about other sounds and that is why I don’t sleep through them. Just another example of how thought creates our experience. So useful to be able to see the role thought plays in life. In a very practical way, I might just get less bothered when Angus forgets to turn...

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The Goal is Not to Change Emotional Experience, Just Remember the Source that Creates It

I have noticed how I can be critical. I can be sharp. I don’t mean to be, but I can have an edge. This occurs when my personal thinking is stirred up. I am feeling separate. My “I” is strong. Then other times when my thinking is more settled my “I” softens and my heart opens. I feel connected and more peaceful.   I am struck by the benefit of the understanding of the principles for pointing out how I can be more neutral about not just being the soft “I” with the expanded heart. I put less pressure on myself...

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