relationship advice | Rohini Ross - Part 13

He Said, She Said: Angus’s Screen Saver Mode

Angus shares how he needs time to rev up in the mornings, and how when he chills, he goes into screen saver mode. This mode can result in communication problems with Rohini because she thinks Angus's brain is fully functioning when it is actually off-line. Angus sees the benefit of letting her know when he needs space so he doesn't get resentful and so there aren't misunderstandings. Join Angus and Rohini at their upcoming workshop in Topanga April 28-29. Click here for more information.   Angus and Rohini are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders, and organizations to increase performance and success....

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He Said, She Said: More Peace, Less Reactivity

Angus shares how he is experiencing greater freedom from his reactive thoughts. He can have them without feeling compelled to act on them. I can certainly take a leaf out of his book. We are enjoying the peace and looking forward to a relaxing weekend of recharging!   Angus and Rohini are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders, and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love working with couples and helping them reduce conflict and discord so they can experience more love and harmony in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized three-day couples intensives that support the deepening of connection...

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He Said, She Said: Getting a Thicker Skin is Good for Relationships

Angus re-enacts a prank he played on me that he thought would be funny but that actually terrified me. I may not be ready for more pranks, but I have got a lot better about not taking things personally. This has made our relationship so much easier. I love the greater levels of light-heartedness we both experience simply from seeing the fluid nature of thought and experience and recognizing our natural tendency as human beings is to drop into feelings of love and wellbeing -- so reassuring!   Angus and Rohini are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders and organizations to...

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He Said, She Said: Not Feasting on Negative Thoughts

I forced Angus to throw me a 50th birthday party against his will. You will find out what a mean wife I am. Angus also shares some pearls of wisdom about not feasting on his negative thoughts.     Angus and Rohini are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love working with couples and helping them reduce conflict and discord so they can experience more love and harmony in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized three-day couples intensives that support the deepening of connection and understanding. They work with couples who are struggling and...

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He Said, She Said: One Year Vlog Anniversary

We are celebrating ?? our one year anniversary of doing the Vlog! Thank you for all of you support and kindness! ?? ? We so appreciate being in this exploration with YOU. It is music to our ears when we here the Vlog has been helpful or even that it has simply brought you a smile. And Angus did realize the song is by Human League and not The Killers. ? Sending you love!   Angus and Rohini are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love working with couples and helping them reduce conflict and discord so they can...

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He Said, She Said: Angus’s Big Problem in Our Marriage

Who knew Angus has a big problem with me?! It wasn't what I thought it would be. Of my many character weaknesses and personality quirks it was not on the top of my list. Just goes to show how we each live in our separate reality and see the world in our unique way that makes sense to us. WARNING: view discretion advised.   Angus and Rohini are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love working with couples and helping them reduce conflict and discord so they can experience more love and...

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He Said, She Said: Fighting sucks, but it is not the end of the world

We thought we would get more sleep with teenagers. They don't wake up until noon when they are on vacation, but we forgot the flip side of the late nights. Angus and I were feeling a little worse for wear from lack of sleep, and we really got duped by our reactive thinking. We both fell into believing it, and woke up believing too. That is highly unusual for us now, but it happened nonetheless. We eventually settled. We finally saw each other more clearly, and felt the love that is.   It can be scary when this happens. The intensity of...

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The Benefits of Being “All In” in Relationships and Life

Recently I have been surrounded by loss in my life and in my clients' lives. Recognizing the temporary and fragile nature of life has a way of clarifying priorities. In Bronnie Ware's book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, she shares that most prevalent regrets of the people she worked with in palliative care are:   I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. I wish I hadn't worked so hard. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings. I wish I had stayed in touch with...

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Half a Cup of Criticism and a Gallon of Vitriol

A recipe for relationship disaster, but with the understanding that these dire moments are only temporary, and they do not reflect the love that is real, it is much easier to get over resentment and upset. Our marriage is so much more fun and easy now we don't take our worst moments seriously. We recognize they are only a reflection of being temporarily destabilized. It is a relief to have room for our humanness in our marriage and to see the amazing ability we have to bounce back and feel the love in our hearts.   Angus and Rohini are both coaches....

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He Said, She Said: A Bump in the Bed

This week Angus and I discuss hitting a bump in the road (or as Angus said, “a bump in the bed”) because I was impatient about us getting back into a good feeling with each other. Angus was disappointed about not getting his “nookie”, and I wasn’t able to give him space to let him settle. Consequently, things snowballed. Fortunately, it didn’t take long for us to get our perspective back and to stop taking our dire thoughts and comments seriously. It is nice to know we have the resilience to bounce back time and time again. And it is...

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