relationships | Rohini Ross - Part 15

Shouting is Moaning on Steroids

Shouting is the new moaning and another great example of how we each live in our separate realities. In Angus' world, he was not shouting. In my world, he was shouting at me. Fortunately, I had perspective and didn’t take it personally this time, but I do have a preference not to be shouted at. Angus was able to hear this and recognize it is possible to not yell at the messenger. His other lesson was to be realistic about the outcome of giving his credit card to a teenager doing dorm room shopping. And Niko makes a guest appearance to remind...

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Time to Get Off My Soapbox!

Sometimes Angus feels compelled to have a moan, and sometimes I'm not able to be a good listener when he does. Rather than holding a loving space and saying "There, there, darling.", I get concerned and try to school him. This usually doesn't go well. So Angus decides it would be good for him to have a virtual assistant he can moan to, but he gets himself into hot water when he uses a term I take exception to.   Rohini and Angus are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders, and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love working...

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Parenting Teens Teaches Me to Walk the Line of Letting Go and Loving Without Attachment

You've got a way to keep me on your side You give me cause for love that I can't hide For you I know I'd even try to turn the tide Because you're mine, I walk the line ~ Johnny Cash, I Walk the Line   I am sitting on the Anacortes Ferry on my way to Sooke, B.C. to visit my mother. It has docked at Friday Harbor. The harbor is full of pleasure boats. There is a stationary seaplane gently floating up and down on the water. It is a tranquil view. I’m cozy in my black Patagonia jacket, normal summer wear for me...

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Low Moods No Longer Bring My Life to a Halt

I don’t know what I have been searching for on the internet lately, but now my Facebook ads are about pee proof underwear and vaginal dryness solutions. I remember reading in a book about big data how parents found out their teenage daughter was pregnant because their Target flyers started showing baby items. It is not a big step from menopause to mortality, and this has been underlined by the death of a college friend after a brave fight against cancer.   Moments of recognition about the finite quality of life can be sobering. It has caused me to reflect on my...

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Sometimes Shame Gets the Better of Us

Angus shares how he feels he did a bad job with public speaking. I point out that it is impossible for him to know how he did when he is experiencing so much self-judgment. It is easy to be hard on ourselves when we are gripped by our thoughts of shame and feeling the effect of them. Going over what happened does not help. It breathes more life into the critical thoughts and results in more intense feelings of shame and less perspective. The best way we have found to navigate shame is to recognize when what we are thinking...

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