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The Best Relationship Remedy

Relationship advice is usually focused on trying to cultivate more of a feeling of love that comes and goes rather than on waking up to your essence of love that is always there no matter what. It might seem counter-intuitive to focus on something that can only be found and experienced within when it looks like the issues are without involving two people not just oneself, but ultimately any experience of upset we experience comes from within.   It is the ultimate in empowerment, freedom, and liberation to see that what causes our internal experiences arises from our own thoughts and not...

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Teenagers and Getting Intoxicated with Anger

Angus and I have both been brought to our knees recently and humbled by witnessing ourselves become intoxicated with anger. Worst of all it was in our relationship with our teenage daughter!   There have been lessons on both sides. For Angus, he saw his capacity to ride out his intoxication with anger from a neutral space and return to his natural state of love quite quickly. For me, I saw more clearly how my reactivity is only the result of me taking things personally. I embodied the understanding a little more deeply so the next time I was confronted with reactivity,...

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What Makes Relationships Work?

Angus and I are in the beautiful Pacific Northwest facilitating a four-day intensive with a couple. As I was reflecting on the intensive beforehand I was thinking about what it is that makes relationships work. Given that the content of each person’s experience is unique and each relationship is different, I was looking to see what is simple and unifying that applies to all relationships?   When I reflected on my own relationship, what occurred to me is that the less I am attached to my personal position the better my relationship is. The more I need things to be a certain...

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The Illusion Of Needing To Find Balance When Upset

Angus and I have had a couple of opportunities to notice ourselves get out of balance recently. During those times we noticed how easy it is to want to get back into emotional balance as quickly as possible. It can feel like there is a pull to feel better quickly. There are plenty of techniques and strategies designed for that purpose, but they don’t last so it becomes a constant practice to use them and that ultimately leads to more stress and distress.   What we are noticing and experiencing more deeply is the innate capacity to rebalance that comes from within...

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I Can Be A Bitch by Julieanne Chazotte

This week's guest blog post is written by my apprentice Julieanne Chazotte. I love how Julie embraces her humanness and finds freedom in letting go of self-judgments. Her invitation is for us all to see that our human foibles cannot and do not mean anything about us. And in the letting go of pressure on ourselves to be better, the resulting internal freedom naturally allows us to show up in more loving and compassionate ways.   Over the past few weeks my husband, Dror, and I have been going through an IVF process. This is a costly intervention with a lot of...

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Beyond the Psychology of Relationships

Please watch beyond Angus's moan about the cleanse we are doing. For the record, I did not force him to participate. I feel great and am doing the same thing! There are separate realities for you!   Anyway, this Vlog is to clarify that Angus and I are not sharing about how to improve your relationship by managing your thinking or by changing your state of mind. Our intention is to point to the fullness of who you are that includes both the form of your psychology and the formless essence of your spiritual nature.   It is through looking in the direction of...

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What is Behind Frustration and Impatience?

Frustration and impatience -- they come up all the time in both personal and professional relationships.   I experience both. I do my best not to express them, but I often do, in spite of my attempts not to. Sometimes I am just not able to restrain myself, and sometimes I think I am filtering myself but really I am kidding myself –– like a child who hides her head under a blanket and thinks she cannot be seen. I think I am keeping my feelings under wraps, but it is quite obvious to the person on the receiving end how I am...

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Yes And Is Good For Relationships!

Angus and I had a lot of fun at an improv class. It was a great metaphor for life. I got to see how sometimes it is invisible to me that I am leading with a no rather than an open mind. This is so helpful to recognize because conversations go so much better when I have an open mind that is a reflection of the yes and motto in improv. Relationships and life are more fun that way!   Angus & Rohini Ross are "the Rewilders". They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their...

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Bouncing Back From The Bad Mother Blues

Parenting can be an extremely humbling experience. And there is nothing like having your profession thrown in your face by your daughter when you are not showing up as an ideal mother. I had one such experience last week.   What I am grateful for is having the perspective to see how different my daughter looks when I go from one mood to another so I don’t take my bad mother blues too seriously. Previously, I would have been so ensconced on a self-help path to fix my errant ways that I would have missed the opportunity to rebuild the bridge between...

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Angus’s Insight About Free Will

Angus has gone through another door of perception. He shares how his experience of seeing free will as a product of the conceptual mind has given him a feeling of greater inner freedom. Rather than seeing himself as separate from God/Mind/Consciousness, recognizing that free will is part of the illusion of thought, allowed him to experience more of the oneness. This is not only freeing for him, but it also helps him to have more compassion for me when I get caught up in my conceptual mind. Now, he is more likely to see my psychological innocence when this happens.   It...

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