relationship advice | Rohini Ross - Part 4

Don’t Trust Your Low Mood Thoughts

We have been fighting a bug in our household that has impacted our state of mind. I woke up in a panic attack this morning. One of our daughters was freaking out yesterday, and Angus entered the darkness last weekend. Fortunately, we are all coming out the other side of it, and it has been helpful when we have remembered to not take our low mood thinking or the other person's low mood thinking seriously in the process. Hopefully, you find our experience helpful to you.   Here are the links I mentioned: 3PGC Online Conference that is happening this weekend https://3pgc.org/2020-online-conference/   Dr. Amy Johnson's...

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Blame and Relationships

[embed]https://www.facebook.com/rohini.ross/videos/10222320461706434/[/embed]   Angus has a love-hate relationship with the Vlog and we have that with each other at times. This morning is an example of us falling into blame with each other making the other person responsible for our low moods. Fortunately, we take our blind spots lightly and eventually remember the feelings will pass. Blame is just a misguided attempt to feel better. But when we remember that feelings change and experience comes and goes naturally there is no need to resort to blame. The feeling of warmth and love in the relationship doesn’t need to be sacrificed just because our state...

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Angus Unchained

Rohini is getting over her Valentine's Day "grinchiness" and getting into the spirit of the day. Angus shares what he is seeing around the profound resilience we each have inside to regulate. We don't need to regulate ourselves. Our design is to regulate. No experience is wrong or abnormal it is all just part of the experience of being human. Seeing this helps us to be more comfortable with whatever our experience is.   Rohini can see how her resistance to her experience would often lead to conflict between Angus and her because she would try to self-regulate through regulating him. It...

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Resolving Relationship Problems (or any other kind of problem)

I was the consummate self-help fanatic attending numerous workshops and trainings to improve myself. Years ago on one of these five-day trainings, on the last day when everyone was completely blissed out, I decided to share. But I didn’t share my gratitude for everything I had experienced or for the greater freedom I was feeling. I did experience those things, but instead, I moved swiftly on to the next problem I could see. My thinking was, "Yeah, that’s really nice inner peace, freedom, true nature whatever, but I still have this problem. My relationship is still a problem. I am...

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Crazy Caring Parents – So Funny!

You have to watch this! What goes on in parents' heads? Does it seem like they are caring or being controlling? If you want a laugh - or you want to understand how things go wrong in relationships between teens and parents - you have to watch this! Angus and Rohini Ross (brilliant relationship and life coaches - and honest with it) share how separate realities can cause all sorts of suffering for parents and teens! To watch what came next and find out more - go to https://youtu.be/olHjVGr4D_Q   Angus & Rohini Ross are "the Rewilders". They love working with couples...

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The Simple Way To An Easier Relationship

Our personal realities can look so separate and different. Angus has a very unique approach to taking care of an upset stomach and it works for him!   Understanding how separate our realities can look and recognizing that our experience comes from that unique reality we create is so helpful in relationships. In the example shared here, I got caught up in my personal version of reality where it felt like I was bad, wrong, not good enough, and it looked like Angus was responsible for me feeling that way. But that is not the truth.   That experience was a temporary reality that...

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Let Your True Nature Handle Your Relationship Problems

Relationship problems can feel all-consuming. When we experience emotional suffering it is hard not to focus on the issue and try to find a way out of it. Unfortunately, what this does is magnify the problem in our mind and this only takes us further away from resolution.   It may feel counter-intuitive, but the best way to support yourself when you are experiencing relationship issues, or any other issue for that matter, is to look away from the problem. This is not said with the intent of sweeping the issue under the rug. It is said with the clearest intention of...

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Don’t Despair Over The Post-Honeymoon Fall From Grace

It is actually a blessing when the fall from grace happens.   Most people are upset and troubled when they experience difficulties in their intimate relationships. There are a few, however, that see the difficulties as a gift.   Firstly, to have the gift of an intimate relationship in which the pressure comes off to be perfect is a huge blessing. We can often keep it together at work or in social situations through the willpower of self-management driven by fear, and some people even maintain this facade in intimate relationships, but it is a real blessing to be in a relationship that is...

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A Healthy Relationship Starts With You!

Who has a healthy relationship all the time?   All relationships are the reflection of the two people in the relationship. They will as such reflect the health of the individuals moment to moment. This means that the health of a relationship can dramatically change based on how the two people are showing up in it.   What I have noticed is that people can become very judgmental of themselves and blame themselves as not being capable of being in a healthy relationship. They feel that their human frailties cause problems and prevent the experience of a healthy relationship.   Blame becomes the source of discouragement,...

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