Marriage | Rohini Ross - Part 13

He Said, She Said: The Quiet Nest Before the Empty Nest

I am missing spending more time with our teenage girls as their lives are so busy. Angus reminds me of how normal and healthy this is. I see now that my struggle could be perceived as a criticism of them and give the message that they are doing something wrong. My opportunity is to get more comfortable with the quiet nest so they know everything is okay and on track, and to look for the opportunities we do have to enjoy each others company. Angus has an opportunity to accept his bad hair day and not compensate with "hat hair".   Angus...

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He Said, She Said: Angus’s Big Problem in Our Marriage

Who knew Angus has a big problem with me?! It wasn't what I thought it would be. Of my many character weaknesses and personality quirks it was not on the top of my list. Just goes to show how we each live in our separate reality and see the world in our unique way that makes sense to us. WARNING: view discretion advised.   Angus and Rohini are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love working with couples and helping them reduce conflict and discord so they can experience more love and...

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He Said, She Said: Fighting sucks, but it is not the end of the world

We thought we would get more sleep with teenagers. They don't wake up until noon when they are on vacation, but we forgot the flip side of the late nights. Angus and I were feeling a little worse for wear from lack of sleep, and we really got duped by our reactive thinking. We both fell into believing it, and woke up believing too. That is highly unusual for us now, but it happened nonetheless. We eventually settled. We finally saw each other more clearly, and felt the love that is.   It can be scary when this happens. The intensity of...

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He Said, She Said: Freedom From Expectations

Angus shares what a relief it is to not feel any pressure to find the best party ever. Life is so much more enjoyable when we aren't trying to live up to expectations. We then get to be present and really enjoy what is right in front of us. Wishing everyone a Happy New Year! Sending you love!   Angus and Rohini are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love working with couples and helping them reduce conflict and discord so they can experience more love and harmony in their relationships. They...

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Half a Cup of Criticism and a Gallon of Vitriol

A recipe for relationship disaster, but with the understanding that these dire moments are only temporary, and they do not reflect the love that is real, it is much easier to get over resentment and upset. Our marriage is so much more fun and easy now we don't take our worst moments seriously. We recognize they are only a reflection of being temporarily destabilized. It is a relief to have room for our humanness in our marriage and to see the amazing ability we have to bounce back and feel the love in our hearts.   Angus and Rohini are both coaches....

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The Learning Curve of Being Human

We are all on the learning curve of being spiritual beings having a human experience, and we all have various learning curves we are navigating within that. Learning curves can be fun and exciting, especially when we are able to see that no matter where we are in the process, we are doing the best that we can and that is good enough. When we see this, we have an open mind. We are able to learn without attachment. This makes it easy to engage in learning, and the real-time feedback of our wisdom in the moment is more obvious...

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He Said, She Said: A Bump in the Bed

This week Angus and I discuss hitting a bump in the road (or as Angus said, “a bump in the bed”) because I was impatient about us getting back into a good feeling with each other. Angus was disappointed about not getting his “nookie”, and I wasn’t able to give him space to let him settle. Consequently, things snowballed. Fortunately, it didn’t take long for us to get our perspective back and to stop taking our dire thoughts and comments seriously. It is nice to know we have the resilience to bounce back time and time again. And it is...

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He Said, She Said: You’re Not Listening!

Angus and I have different tempos of communication. I tend to be more rapid fire, whereas Angus likes to take his time assimilating information. This can result in large chunks of information never making into Angus’s conscious awareness. It often goes unnoticed until a ball gets dropped. When this happens, Angus and I can get ensconced in our separate realities with me thinking Angus doesn’t listen to me, and Angus thinking I am calling him stupid.   When we commit to our separate realities rather than trying to understand each other, communication breaks down and goodwill melts away. But, when we...

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He Said, She Said: Humor Wins Over Seriousness

Angus derails my seriousness, but concurs that chronic stress is not good for relationships. The good news is that stress is an inside job. When you see this, it makes it so much easier to drop the stressful thinking, and then you naturally get filled up with your innate wellbeing. Relationships thrive when people experience their innate wellbeing and recognize stressful thinking will disappear on its own when left alone. Goodwill is contagious!   Angus and Rohini are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love working with couples and helping them reduce...

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He Said, She Said: Eccentricities and Quirks Charming or Deal-breakers

Eccentricities and quirks in our partner are amusing and even charming when there is goodwill. However, they can look like the cause of incompatibility when you are in a low mood. Angus and I share how we are much better at dealing with our differences now. Angus gives the example of how he still finds my sleep inconsistencies baffling, but not a cause of conflict, and I can't resist sharing about his nighttime howling.   Angus and Rohini are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love working with couples and helping them...

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