Marriage | Rohini Ross - Part 14

A Reformed Commitment-Phobe: Who Knew a Relationship Could be so Fun and Easy

I watched the 3PGC Webinar with George and Linda Pransky this week about relationships. I loved what they shared about the importance of goodwill and being on the same team. There was also another theme that really struck a chord with me and that was related to commitment. Linda Pransky said something along the lines of it is simply easier to be 100% committed in a relationship because it takes a lot of thinking off the table. I found this to be absolutely congruent with my experience, but what was interesting to me was how I got to being committed. I realized...

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Seeing We Hallucinate Reality Helps Relationships

I recently watched Anil Seth's Ted Talk Your Brain Hallucinates Your Conscious Reality. His research affirms Anaïs Nin's quote, "We don't see the world as it is, we see it as we are." Seth shares that what we perceive is a constructive process generated from the inside out. He says we create our experience of reality based on our brain's best guess at what is going on. He provides examples of illusions and experiments that demonstrate how easy it is for the brain's perceptions to be skewed.   In our daily life we are constantly filling in the blanks to try and make...

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He Said, She Said: Angus’s Absentmindedness

There is a lot going on in this week's Vlog. We get photo bombed by our eldest daughter. Angus learns to keep his pants on and not check in at seedy motels on Facebook. On a more serious note, I see how my irritation with Angus's absent mindedness is only ever a result of the story in my head and nothing to do with him. Angus recognizes how he can use his feelings as a compass to let him know when it is not a good time to engage in communication with me.   Angus and Rohini are both coaches. They work...

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Relationship Challenges Aren’t Solved With Communication Skills

In his book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, John Gottman identifies criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling as the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse that predict the demise of a relationship. These styles of communication are all indicators that goodwill in the relationship is dismally low. Traditional relationship advice is to learn behavioral and communication skills to keep these Four Horsemen at bay. What this advice misses, however, is that couples don't have communication problems. They have challenges as the result of diminished goodwill. When there is a good feeling between two people, communication is never the problem, even when...

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He Said, She Said: Housekeeping Blues

Angus and I have different standards when it comes to housekeeping. This has been a source of resentment in the past. Many couple’s solve this issue by hiring help, but Angus is reticent to get a housekeeper due to a past mishap. So, we are forced to navigate our separate realities and find common ground – so far, so good thanks to his failing eye sight.   Angus and Rohini love working with couples and helping them reduce conflict and discord so they can experience more love and harmony in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized three-day couple's retreats that support the deepening...

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He Said, She Said: Angus Does His Impersonation of a Bobblehead

Angus thinks he is just a pretty face. He doesn't realize how much value his presence and insights add to the Vlogs. But he does bring a good feeling today even if Rohini bores him.   Angus and Rohini love to work with couples and help them reduce conflict and discord so they can experience more love and harmony in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized three-day couple's retreats that support the deepening of connection and understanding. We work with couples who are struggling and couples who would like to deepen the love and intimacy they already have. Find out more about Angus and Rohini’s upcoming...

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He Said, She Said: Arguments Aren’t the End of the World

We are not perfect! Sometimes we don't listen to our own sensible advice. The good news is we are resilient and able to get over ourselves. This allows us to rebound from arguments much more quickly than in the past. Ultimately, love prevails even when we do not act our best -- what a relief!   Angus and Rohini love to work with couples and help them reduce conflict and discord so they can experience more love and harmony in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized three-day couple's retreats that support the deepening of connection and understanding. We work with couples who are struggling and couples...

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He Said, She Said: Forgetfulness isn’t Personal

Angus is not forgetful. He is just living in the present moment. Rohini has an opportunity to not take Angus' ultra zen present moment way of being personally. And zen and forgetfulness aside, love is always our Super Power. Thank you Theresa and Bradford of SuperLove Tees for our t-shirts -- we love them!   Also, click here for the link to the upcoming workshop "Relationship Essentials" that Angus and I are facilitating with Mark and Carrie Sisson. Come and explore what supports lasting love and deepening intimacy in relationships.   Angus and Rohini love to work with couples and help them reduce conflict and...

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He Said, She Said: Denying Restorative Cuddles Is Bad For Rapport

Angus shares how invisible thinking can be at times related to low moods, and how easy it is for conflict to ensue. Rohini speaks to the humanness of our moods even when we know we create our experience from our own thoughts, and acknowledges that it can be hard to see thought as the culprit of upset in real time.   Also, click here for the link to the upcoming workshop "Relationship Essentials" Angus and I are facilitating with Carrie and Mark Sisson.   Angus and Rohini love to work with couples and help them reduce conflict and discord so they can experience more love...

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Sex and Marriage: Go Together Like a Horse and Carriage?

Recently my husband Angus and I did our Friday Vlog about sex. He was reticent to talk about our experience in this area, but I managed to convince him to do it since this is a subject that is challenging for many couples, especially couples in long-term relationships no matter what their sexual orientation. Sex often comes up as an issue for our clients even if it has nothing to do with the coaching they signed up for.   For us, it is an area of great learning. I can see now how the quality and richness of our sex life is a litmus...

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