Rohini | Rohini Ross - Part 9

Angus Now Understands His Yoga Nightmare/Breakthrough More Deeply

Happy New Year!   A Thursday vlog for a change because Angus and I are going away to celebrate his entry into a new decade. Listen in to hear about his latest senior moment. I don’t actually think it is a senior moment. Angus has been absentminded ever since I met him. Suffice to say that saki and lemonade are not to his tastes.   And Angus shares about his breakdown/breakthrough moment in yoga camp in New Mexico with greater insight. Hopefully, this reminds you that you can leave your thinking alone and look beyond it to experience the peace and potential that lies...

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A Healthy Relationship Starts With You!

Who has a healthy relationship all the time?   All relationships are the reflection of the two people in the relationship. They will as such reflect the health of the individuals moment to moment. This means that the health of a relationship can dramatically change based on how the two people are showing up in it.   What I have noticed is that people can become very judgmental of themselves and blame themselves as not being capable of being in a healthy relationship. They feel that their human frailties cause problems and prevent the experience of a healthy relationship.   Blame becomes the source of discouragement,...

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Help For Relationship Reactivity

I’m working with a young man related to success and performance. However, as part of our conversations, his relationship came up. He was feeling bad about his behavior. He had a lot of insight into why he behaves reactively at times. He recognized that when he gets insecure he loses his temper and becomes controlling as a way to try and stabilize himself. When angry, he feels compelled to behave that way and feels justified. However, afterward, he is filled with shame and remorse for his actions. He was feeling discouraged because he hadn't been able to change his behavior....

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Would You Be Happier If Your Partner Changed?

The Answer Might Not Be What You Think   We just celebrated the Thanksgiving Holiday in the U.S. It is a wonderful reminder to look at what we are grateful for in our lives. The results of this are so heart-opening. For me, it was also a reminder to look at how I am giving in my life. What ways am I being of service?    In the area of relationships, we are often preoccupied with what we should be getting from our relationship and from our partner that we forget to look at how we are showing up in the relationship. It is...

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Beyond Fear of Intimacy to Embracing the Wild

There is an incredible depth of feeling and love experienced in intimate relationships. As Bruce Perry’s book title highlights, we are born for love. We are all drawn to the experience of love. That is our natural state. That is who we are.   If this is true, why are intimate relationships hard for so many people?    Just because we are born for love on the psychological level and our essence is love on the spiritual level, it doesn’t mean we always feel love. Our personal experience can feel like the opposite of this at times and when it does we often believe that things...

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Releasing Contempt — It Is More Dangerous For Relationships Than Conflict

When people talk about relationship challenges people usually think about emotional volatility. High conflict couples let the fur fly as they navigate their differences. As challenging as these kinds of interactions are, this kind of conflict is not a negative predictor for relationship longevity. According to John Gottman and his research on marital stability, contempt is far more damaging to relationships than volatility.   Couples who have high levels of contempt in their relationship may not have high conflict. Often these are couples who say they don’t fight. Their relationships are often characterized by distance. There is frequently functional stability that allows the...

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Expectations Are Harmful To Relationships

Relationships are hard when we look to them to get our needs met. It is inevitable that our partner is not going to meet our needs in some areas some of the time and in other areas consistently. And it seems that couples pick the perfect partner for not meeting their needs, or perhaps, we react in such a way that it is inevitable that our partner will eventually respond in a way that doesn't meet our needs.   Rather than relationship work being focused on understanding each other's needs and increasing expectations that our partner will meet our needs, what about...

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You Are Wild, Free and Untamed

Angus and I facilitated a corporate training recently and the target audience was millennials. We were a curious pick as we are old enough to be their parents and maybe even their grandparents in some cases.   Fortunately, what we shared with them is timeless.    As we prepared for the training, I noticed age labels cropping up in my awareness. I reflected on how we are all born free of any label and how that experience of freedom is available when we are simply being rather than defined by a concept. That freedom is what we are all seeking -- freedom from the...

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The Myth of Happily Ever After

Angus and I are developing a free Rewilding Love challenge that will launch next year. As I reflect on what it is that allows love to be rekindled and to flourish in a relationship, I see more and more it is not about the other person. For me, it has been through having a deeper awakening to my impersonal loving nature that has allowed my marriage to thrive. This is something we can lose sight of as we become more and more focused on the personal nature of the relationship and our partner.   The myth of happily ever after links love...

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