Rohini | Rohini Ross - Part 25

How are You Going to Share Your Magnificence in the World?

I had the blessing and pleasure of teaching with two amazing women this weekend -- Barb Patterson and Elsie Spittle. Barb Patterson and I often teach together on our Mastermind for Solopreneurs, and we will be doing the experiment of The Engaged Space together starting next week, but this is the first time we are teaching together in person. Elsie Spittle is one of the first teachers of the Three Principles, and she knew Sydney Banks, the man who uncovered the principles, before he had his enlightenment experience. It is such an honor to be in this conversation with her.   As I...

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He Said, She Said: Eccentricities and Quirks Charming or Deal-breakers

Eccentricities and quirks in our partner are amusing and even charming when there is goodwill. However, they can look like the cause of incompatibility when you are in a low mood. Angus and I share how we are much better at dealing with our differences now. Angus gives the example of how he still finds my sleep inconsistencies baffling, but not a cause of conflict, and I can't resist sharing about his nighttime howling.   Angus and Rohini are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love working with couples and helping them...

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A Reformed Commitment-Phobe: Who Knew a Relationship Could be so Fun and Easy

I watched the 3PGC Webinar with George and Linda Pransky this week about relationships. I loved what they shared about the importance of goodwill and being on the same team. There was also another theme that really struck a chord with me and that was related to commitment. Linda Pransky said something along the lines of it is simply easier to be 100% committed in a relationship because it takes a lot of thinking off the table. I found this to be absolutely congruent with my experience, but what was interesting to me was how I got to being committed. I realized...

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He Said, She Said: Don’t Tell Me I’m Not Going to Die!

This week Angus and I share our birth story number two. It is even more intense than number 1. In terms of the general learning, it was an example of Angus seeing he didn't need to fix my emotional distress and that what was actually helpful was to hear my experience without trying to change it. And for me, I am simply grateful for what an amazing husband he is!   Angus and Rohini are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love working with couples and helping them reduce conflict and discord...

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Seeing We Hallucinate Reality Helps Relationships

I recently watched Anil Seth's Ted Talk Your Brain Hallucinates Your Conscious Reality. His research affirms Anaïs Nin's quote, "We don't see the world as it is, we see it as we are." Seth shares that what we perceive is a constructive process generated from the inside out. He says we create our experience of reality based on our brain's best guess at what is going on. He provides examples of illusions and experiments that demonstrate how easy it is for the brain's perceptions to be skewed.   In our daily life we are constantly filling in the blanks to try and make...

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He Said, She Said: Don’t Let Your Thinking Stop You

Angus is experiencing Vlog block due to getting caught up in his insecure thinking, but he proceeds anyway! I recognize the benefit of stepping into the unknown and seeing what emerges. Life has too many variables to work everything out ahead of time. Being responsive in the moment, real-time, is what is most important. This proved true when Angus was driving us to the hospital when I was in labor with our eldest daughter.   Angus and Rohini are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love working with couples and helping them...

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You Can’t Stop Negative Thoughts, But You Don’t Have to Take Them Seriously

Sometimes new clients think the understanding I share with them is too simple, and even long-term clients in a moment of distress can get frustrated and want me to give them something to do rather than point them in the direction of how their experience is created. It is always my intention to help my clients reduce their suffering. I believe the best way to do this is to help them see more clearly the full picture of where their experience comes from rather than giving them techniques and strategies to deal with a very narrow part of it. Trying to...

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He Said, She Said: Angus’s Absentmindedness

There is a lot going on in this week's Vlog. We get photo bombed by our eldest daughter. Angus learns to keep his pants on and not check in at seedy motels on Facebook. On a more serious note, I see how my irritation with Angus's absent mindedness is only ever a result of the story in my head and nothing to do with him. Angus recognizes how he can use his feelings as a compass to let him know when it is not a good time to engage in communication with me.   Angus and Rohini are both coaches. They work...

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Relationship Challenges Aren’t Solved With Communication Skills

In his book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, John Gottman identifies criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling as the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse that predict the demise of a relationship. These styles of communication are all indicators that goodwill in the relationship is dismally low. Traditional relationship advice is to learn behavioral and communication skills to keep these Four Horsemen at bay. What this advice misses, however, is that couples don't have communication problems. They have challenges as the result of diminished goodwill. When there is a good feeling between two people, communication is never the problem, even when...

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The Problem is Fear. The By-Product is Violence. The Solution is Love.

The enemy is fear. We think it is hate; but it is fear. ~ Gandhi   I remember waiting on the platform of the underground in London when the station was flooded with skinheads. I felt fear and did my best to be as unobtrusive as possible. I know not all skinheads are fascist neo-Nazi’s, but I was afraid. I was no longer with people on the platform. I was with an “other” that scared me.   As I watched the news of the violence in Charlottesville, and heard about more upcoming white supremacist marches across the United States, I felt disturbed and sad....

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