Rohini | Rohini Ross - Part 3

Ten Relationship Basics

I’ve written about how I used to be super-sensitive in my relationship with Angus and how that created a negative downward spiral between us, with each of us adding more negativity to our communication with each other and slashing the feeling of goodwill between us in the process. . I would blame him for how I felt. I thought if only he were kinder and less irritable then I would be happier. I would voice my criticism. He would take my criticism personally and become less kind and more irritable in the process. . We managed to create a negative amount of goodwill in...

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Peel Off the Persona and Embrace All of Who You Are

I feel like I am on a growing edge and ready to see something new beyond my conditioned beliefs around people-pleasing, being liked, and being a good girl. To my horror, my sense of arrogance and superiority is becoming more visible to me. I have spent years in the comfortable familiarity of my feelings of unworthiness, but my consciousness is shifting focus to a more painful realization of my attitudes and beliefs of being superior and special.   I feel sick writing it down. My self-loathing is strong.   On a recent webinar where I was a guest speaker, Natasha Swerdloff spoke of vanity...

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Lessons Learned Making the Podcast Rewilding Love

This is not a post about how to make a podcast. This post is about inner learnings that have unfolded through the course of making a podcast that may be helpful or of interest.   They are:   The Power of Resolve Relationship Learning on Steroids It Takes a Team   The Power of Resolve   I often write about the importance of listening to the still quiet voice within and following the inner promptings. Seth Godin wrote a post recently that said, “Qarrtsiluni...

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Shame Begone

When I was in high school I went on a field trip to an International High School that was a boarding school near the village where I lived. Students attended the high school from all over the world. As part of the field trip, the students from my school played a game.   We were divided into teams and given different roles to play within the world order. There were country leaders, national advisers, and spies. I was the leader of a first-world nation with the highest GDP. It was obviously meant to represent the U.S. One of my closest friends who...

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Time to Heal

Saturday morning Angus and I were pottering around. I had a supervision call with participants in my Rewilding Guide and after we were going meet up with the couple we were doing an intensive with. We were making tea and taking care of the pets. Angus turned on CNN. The previous night when we were watching we heard the announcement “LIVE ELECTION UPDATE” several times and were told information like 30 votes have come in from a county in Pennsylvania or Georgia. So when Wolf Blitzer announced another election update at 8:30 am neither one of us was particularly excited....

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Water Rage

I am not allowed to be pissed off. I can’t be angry. Rage is forbidden. No wonder I am claustrophobic. I am suffocated by the pressure of my rules squeezing me tight like a boa constrictor, squeezing the life out of me. I get to live life as a sucked out shell with a smile on my face. I aim to please.   That is how I earn my worth. I am of service. Let me help you. I will make you happy. I am a service professional at the age of 14 busing tables, bringing bread, and fetching water. I get...

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70’s Insomnia

I am scared. I am afraid of the emptiness. I don’t want to let go. The ways to escape sleep are limited. My imagination is my best means to keep myself safe from the angst of nothingness. I entertain myself in another world where I am the central character all-powerful and in control.    From birth, I did not want to sleep. I resisted the shift in consciousness and this followed me into childhood. Now vast swathes of hours awake confront me as I lie in bed at 7:30 pm. The dutiful daughter. I can hear the brothers next door playing outside....

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I Am Human

I am human, a fallen angel. The musings of my imagination create fantastical scenarios that are so pleasing but never arrive. The delights and pleasures I was expecting seem to elude me. I am sorely disappointed with this lifetime. I am the disappointment of a lifetime. I am a failure in my eyes. I am a failure in God’s. eyes. I never to measure up.   Throw expectations out the window, hopes, and dreams with them like the baby and bathwater. I’m not the apple of my eye. The satisfaction never to be fulfilled is disappointing, but that is what I have to...

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The Fear of Pure Freedom

As an adult, I’m supposed to have things figured out, or at least that is the way it feels. I bought into the idea that I am supposed to take the weight of the world on my shoulders even though I still get lost and caught up in the interminable stream of thoughts that float around my brain. I don’t know if I am ever going to feel like an adult.   My youngest daughter just moved out and I still feel like a kid. Instead of having things figured out, I find myself seeking, looking, longing to feel secure. I crave...

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Who Are You?

Who are you during this time of reckoning?   Who are you when violence goes unpunished and the necks of the vulnerable are trodden on?   Who are you while the trees burn, animals disappear, ocean’s rise, and hurricanes rage?   Who are you as families are torn apart trying to survive and find a better life?   Who are you when power is held in the hands of a few who are lining their pockets with gold, while others go hungry and without shelter?   Who are you when a leader tells you he will not leave?   Who are you when 200,000 lives are dismissed as an insignificant statistic and...

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