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Teenage Shenanigans

Parenting can be challenging at times, and parenting teenagers takes it to a whole other level. Angus and I recognize that we can both take our daughters’ behavior personally at times. When we do, we aren’t present to what is going on with them. We are caught up in our own stories, making it about us, and that does not help our parenting. It is easy to forget that we live in separate realities and judge their behavior as not making sense. What were you thinking is a statement that often comes to mind, but from a place of judgment...

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Being an Imperfect Mother is Good for Your Kids

I heard one of my teacher's at the University of Santa Monica, Ron Hulnick Ph.D. say that you cannot damage your kids. This flies in the face of traditional psychology that believes a healthy attachment to the primary caregiver is what results in well-adjusted and happy children. However, from a spiritual perspective, if we all have innate well-being and mental health within us, if our essence is whole and cannot be damaged, then our environment and circumstances would not be able to damage us.   Knowing this does not make me not want to show us as the best parent I can be,...

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He Said, She Said: The Quiet Nest Before the Empty Nest

I am missing spending more time with our teenage girls as their lives are so busy. Angus reminds me of how normal and healthy this is. I see now that my struggle could be perceived as a criticism of them and give the message that they are doing something wrong. My opportunity is to get more comfortable with the quiet nest so they know everything is okay and on track, and to look for the opportunities we do have to enjoy each others company. Angus has an opportunity to accept his bad hair day and not compensate with "hat hair".   Angus...

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Frontline Challenges and Opportunities of Parenting a Teen

You might ask yourself, how relevant are spiritual principles when you get a call from your teenage daughter at 3 am on a Sunday morning, when you think she is safely tucked away in her bed? A spiritual understanding of reality may not be the first thing that occurs to you as you get dressed to pick her up from the parking lot of a local church where she is waiting with two police officers and several of her friends. The essence of her formless nature may not feel that present as you hear she has a curfew violation, and...

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