Elaine | Rohini Ross - Part 2

Self-Judgment and Hot Button Topics

Hot button topics usually result in conflict when they are discussed. Anger is often used to deflect away from the subject. Finances used to be a hot button topic for us. Angus shares how his self-judgment and ensuing shame made it very difficult to discuss in a reasonable way. And Rohini would usually take Angus's anger personally. The antidote was for us to be vulnerable with each other and so we really understand each other's experiences. And when we weren't able to do that to see each other's psychological innocence, knowing we were each doing the best we could.   Angus &...

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Coach Practitioner Training

This six-month immersive program is inspired by the teachings of Sydney Banks. It is for anyone who wants to open up to new possibilities related to being of service. I am centering guest faculty voices that are diverse and offering scholarships so finances are not a barrier to participation. Click here to learn more.   Rohini Ross is passionate about helping people wake up to their full potential. She is a transformative coach, leadership consultant, regular contributor to Thrive Global, and author of the short-read Marriage. You can get her free eBook Relationships here. Rohini has an international coaching and consulting practice...

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Avoiding Resentment

Resentment nearly destroyed our marriage. Lessons learned are to have the willingness and courage to maintain open and honest communication and to not make assumptions about where that communication will take you. In your vulnerability, you open up to the power of your impersonal nature so your wisdom can guide you beyond the fears of the intellect. This is the realm of possibility and hopefulness. Learning, growth, and change are always possible.   Angus & Rohini Ross are "the Rewilders." They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships by pointing them to their innate...

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Navigating Defensiveness In Relationships

Defensiveness is a common occurrence in relationships when one person takes another person's behavior personally. Angus and Rohini had a recent experience where Rohini was angry and Angus got defensive. In the past, this would have resulted in a downward spiral of conflict that could have lasted for days. Instead, it lasted for about ten minutes. The difference this time was Angus was able to witness himself being pulled in two directions. He saw one train of thought telling him to protect himself and remain defensive and another train of thought that was compassionate. The compassionate train won and he was able to see Rohini...

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The Secret Sauce For Relationships

Heartfelt apologies and being able to make up after conflict is the secret sauce that makes relationships resilient and increases intimacy and goodwill. Even though Angus and Rohini were naturally inclined to get over things and move on, Rohini couldn't help herself and brought yet another technique into their relationship. This did not foster goodwill and felt inauthentic. For the secret sauce to work it needs to be genuine and heartfelt.   Angus & Rohini Ross are "the Rewilders." They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships by pointing them to their innate wisdom...

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Emotional Safety & Honesty In Relationships

I learned the hard way that emotional safety is what allows for open, honest, authentic communication in relationships. At the beginning of our relationship, my rigidity and judgment did not create the fertile ground for Angus to talk about his struggle with drugs. Rather than this increasing intimacy, it created a wall between us. Honesty flourishes in the container of love and compassion where each person can be fully heard and understood even when there isn't agreement. From this place of understanding, polarization dissolves, and hopefulness and possibility can bloom. Fortunately, we got better at this over the years. We...

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What’s Wrong With Soul-Gazing Before Sex?

Rohini admits to trying to use techniques and strategies to try and improve her relationship with Angus. Angus reveals his least favorite technique she attempted to implement. Eventually, Rohini realized she was trying to use all of the techniques and strategies to try and change Angus because she thought if he were different she would feel safer and more loved. What was really missing was a deeper connection with her true nature of love and wellbeing. When Rohini experienced a deeper connection with her essential nature, she no longer needed to change Angus to feel better, and Angus was given...

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Resolving Struggles Over Household Chores

We have separate realities around household chores. Angus is "visually sensitive." Rohini likes to leave things out as a reminder to do them. Angus feels like the kitchen sometimes looks like a Salvador Dali nightmare and would rather it be more in the theme of a Renoir. Add teenagers into the mix and feelings around household chores can run high. What we have found helpful to remember is, if you are in a low mood, do not take your thinking seriously. Instead, put the oxygen mask on yourself first.   We do our best not to engage in problem-solving from a low...

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Time For Solidarity

From the ACLU: George Floyd should still be alive today. His tragic killing at the hands of Minneapolis police is a result of the unnecessary force and brutality that has been carried out against Black and Brown people in this country for centuries. It is on all of us to make a change and we can begin by holding the officers responsible for Mr. Floyd's death accountable. The ACLU and the ACLU of Minnesota are calling for a fair, independent, and transparent investigation and we need you with us. This case should be handled by someone the community can trust...

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3P Community Night With Rachel Langer

This month's guest is Rachel Langer.   The principles explain how life works, and there are No Exceptions. Even when it feels like there are, especially when it feels like there are. We are in a unique moment to explore this further in light of the global pandemic and planetary lock-down we are all participating in. There is tremendous comfort in "knowing" there are No Exceptions to how experience is created. So when you are in a blind spot - otherwise known as a bad mood or feeling scared, angry, self-righteous, ashamed, frustrated - know that eventually, you will see it for...

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