Reactivity In Relationships Is Normal And Nothing To Be Ashamed Of
Reactivity is normal in relationships. It is a healthy part of the learning curve of being together and navigating separate realities. So often couples come to us with shame about the emotional reactivity in their relationship. Angus and I want to eradicate the shame and normalize that it is okay that upset occurs. It is okay to be learning and growing. None of us have it all figured out.
When we are up against our growing edge, we are stepping beyond our comfort zone and into the unknown. It is there that we can see something fresh and new. We can’t help but learn from our life experience. Just like Angus and I have a deeper understanding of the neutrality of other’s reactions after our experience earlier this week.
I look forward to being able to stay open more often when Angus gets upset and see his reactivity as a normal part of our relationship ecosystem that is neutral and doesn’t require me getting reactive and on my high horse. And If I do get reactive, I look forward to staying open and neutral around that more rather than trying to fix things with him or wait for things to be better with him so I can feel better.
Please let us know what you have learned about reactivity in your own experience.
Angus & Rohini Ross are “the Rewilders”. They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships by opening them up to their innate vitality and resilience. They work with couples who are struggling and couples who would like to deepen the love and intimacy they already have. They co-facilitate individualized couples intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of Marriage (The Soul-Centered Series Book 1), and they are co-founders of The Soul-Centered Series: Psychology, Spirituality and the Teachings of Sydney Banks. You can also subscribe to Rohini’s weekly blog that includes their weekly Vlog on her website, rohiniross.com.