October was a busy month. Barb Patterson and I enjoyed another very inspiring Engaged Space. The Soul-Centered Series started. There was a visit to our eldest daughter in college for Family Weekend, an amazing Business Summit in Portland, three corporate trainings, and client intensives.
What I am so grateful for is that with all of this going on my stress levels have been low. I have eaten candy this month, but that is because we bought Halloween candy early to be prepared. This was a very bad idea because then we had to buy more candy for Halloween. But other than that, I haven’t been trying to get by using coping mechanisms.
This is a clear example of how my internal experience is internally generated and not a reflection of what is going on outside of me. At one point, I even wondered if there was something wrong with me that I wasn’t feeling nervous before doing a training. I was concerned I might be losing my edge. Fortunately, I got to experience for myself how my best performance happens when I am not feeling pressure.
However, even though my experience is internally generated, and I have not been feeling stressed, I do notice that I enjoy and respect a slower pace in my life these days. This month’s pace is no longer the norm. I used to keep myself busy like this all the time. Previously I would feel nervous if there were any openings in my calendar. Spacious days with nothing in them or big gaps in my schedule typically meant I wouldn’t be able to enjoy the time off because I would buy into insecure thinking and feel like the antidote was to make up work to do so I could feel better.
It was revolutionary for me to take two months off this past summer from working with clients. I had fearful thoughts about whether or not that was the right thing to do for my business, but I am so grateful I did. It allowed me to take care of myself and really helped me to see the benefits of slowing down and having more spaciousness in my life. My internal set point shifted and with it, I found I was getting better ideas. It also gave me a new normal that I got used to in terms of my internal state of mind.
Now as I come off of this extremely busy spell and look at the spaciousness available to me starting mid-November, I no longer feel compelled to fill that time. I experience my internal okayness more and don’t need to be busy to try and escape my insecure feelings. I’m not going to be homeless because I have a quiet week or two. It sounds crazy now, but it used to look to me that my hard work was required for my survival.
Participating in the Engaged Space last month was a great reminder to come back to the simplicity that all there is in life is following the next step that is right in front of you. That is how everything gets done from cooking a meal to building a multinational corporation. Our internal well-being has nothing to do with our doing or not doing. It is there — always. Having more spaciousness in my life has helped my mind to settle more so I can experience the feeling of my true nature more fully. And I got used to it so even when my external life isn’t so spacious, I appreciate my internal spaciousness that is still available.
How do you enjoy and prioritize spaciousness in your life?
Rohini Ross is excited to present The Soul-Centered Series: Psychology, Spirituality, and the Teachings of Sydney Banks with the original students of Sydney Banks in Santa Monica, CA. She is passionate about helping people wake up to their true nature. She is a transformative coach and trainer, and author of Marriage (The Soul-Centered Series Book 1). She has an international coaching practice helping individuals, couples, and professionals embrace all of who they are so they can experience greater levels of well-being, resiliency, and success. You can follow Rohini on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, watch her Vlogs with her husband, Angus Ross, and subscribe to her weekly blog on her website, rohiniross.com.