The Perils of Taming Your Partner
Angus and I learned the hard way about the perils of trying to tame each other. I see now how out of my insecurity I tried to change Angus to try and make him fit my preferences so I was more comfortable.
It was a complete game changer when I recognized that he can never be responsible for my emotional experience and that I can be okay with all of my feelings. So freeing to see that I did not need him to be different for me to feel okay.
Understanding that my emotional experience is a reflection of my inner state of mind and not about outside circumstances, not even about a partner who behaves in ways I don’t like, is liberating. It helps me when I understand the real source of my suffering is my thoughts and my reaction them.
Seeing this helps me to look beyond my changing and subjective thoughts and feelings to my innate state of wellbeing that does not go anywhere even though I don’t feel it all the time. When I look in that direction I no longer try to tame Angus to suit my preferences because I know I am okay, and I get to enjoy him exactly as he is. Accepting each other with all of our humanness rewilded our relationship to its natural state of love.
Angus & Rohini Ross are “the Rewilders”. They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships by opening them up to their innate vitality and resilience. They work with couples who are struggling and couples who would like to deepen the love and intimacy they already have. They co-facilitate individualized couples intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of Marriage (The Soul-Centered Series Book 1), and they are co-founders of The Soul-Centered Series: Psychology, Spirituality and the Teachings of Sydney Banks. You can also subscribe to Rohini’s weekly blog that includes their weekly Vlog on her website, rohiniross.com.