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Insecurity is an Ego Trip We Can Always Come Home From

Insecurity is an Ego Trip We Can Always Come Home From

I recently took an on-line personality test a friend shared on Facebook. I was surprised when one of the results indicated I have a big ego. I don’t see myself as particularly arrogant or conceited. My character weaknesses tend to fall on the side of self-doubt and insecurity. Not that I took the test very seriously, but it did cause me to reflect on what it means to have a big ego.

 

It made me look at my experience of insecurity in a new way. I saw when I am experiencing self-doubt, I am actually self-absorbed and self-centered at those times, and these unpleasant experiences indicate just as inflated an idea about my self-importance as grandiosity and conceit. I realized that insecurity and self-importance are really just two sides of the same coin of self-absorption.

 

I found it freeing to see it this way because I am much better at not taking my arrogant thinking seriously than I am about ignoring insecure thoughts. Seeing that my feelings or inferiority result from me being self-centered helped me to see that I can get over myself more easily. If I don’t see conceit as helpful and naturally course-correct when I go down that train of thought, I recognized I can do the same when I follow the train of thought of insecurity. Both happen when I lose touch with living in the moment and get caught up in judging myself. It just happens that I have a clearer understanding that arrogance doesn’t serve me and is not based on truth. It feels less real to me when I feel better than, and more real when I feel less than. However, neither are true, and both are a reflection of  me being self-centered.

 

The anti-dote is easy — ignore myself. Meaning give myself permission to stop scrutinizing my thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and physical form. The longer I look, the more I find to judge. I used to think critical self-examination and analysis was required in order to improve myself. In retrospect, I see that this self-absorption was more likely to paralyze me instead of propelling me forward into my potential.

 

The innate intelligence inside of each one of us is to wake up to the perfection of who we are. There is no improvement needed in our form, there is only the gradual awakening of our consciousness to that understanding. We are love. We are whole. We are one.

 

My intellect is not going to help me with this awakening. My self-improvement efforts only point me in the opposite direction from this understanding. It might sound overly simplistic to say that the best thing I can do to support my well-being is to not think of myself so much, but it is the best medicine for me.

 

How I manifest in the world of form is just a fraction of who I AM. Therefore, the less I focus on my ephemeral, ever-changing, mercurial humanness, the more I experience the depth, richness and unchanging foundation of my formless Authentic Self. It helps me to see that the insecurities that rock my world are never more than a tempest in a teacup.

 

If it occurs to me, I can simply shift what is in the background and foreground of my awareness. Am I going to have perspective on who I really am, or am I going to zoom in on the temporary manifestation of my spiritual nature in the world of form? I will always switch back and forth, but I know both options are available. And I know which one feels best.

 

I may go on my ego trips from time to time, but it is nice to know I will always come home.

 

Rohini Ross is a psychotherapist, a leadership consultant, and an executive coach. Rohini facilitates personalized three-day retreats to help individuals, couples, and professionals connect more fully with their true nature and experience greater levels of wellbeing, resiliency, and success. You can find out more about Rohini’s work on her website, rohiniross.com.

10 Comments

  • Bella Mahaya Carter

    06.03.2017 at 04:08 Reply

    This is helpful to remember. Great post, per usual, Rohini! Thank you for sharing your wisdom and light.

    • Rohini

      08.03.2017 at 18:38 Reply

      Thank you Bella for you comment. So grateful to be of service!

  • Jimmy Rosenberg

    06.03.2017 at 12:43 Reply

    such an opportunistic topic!
    I am choosing to be in the perfection of who I am and recognize the opportunity in every circumstance in which I find myself circling in the illusionary other.
    thank you Rohini for your commitment and insights!
    Much Love
    Jimmy

    • Rohini

      08.03.2017 at 18:40 Reply

      Hi Jimmy,

      Thank you so much for your comment. I love your intention and see you all of you in your perfection! <3

  • Gayle Nobel

    06.03.2017 at 13:43 Reply

    Love this!

    • Rohini

      08.03.2017 at 18:37 Reply

      Thank you Gayle! So lovely speaking with you on the webinar!

  • Jules

    06.03.2017 at 13:58 Reply

    I love this blog post Rohini. It afforded me to look at where insecurity is prevalent in my day-to-day human conversations, with myself and with others. But of course mostly with myself. In reflection I notice that I’m aware of when I’m feel insecure and hence see a spike in egoic involvement, almost in defense of my insecurity. An example of this was at our recent discussion group. Ego masking my insecurity which invariably leads to self-judgment. What a journey it is to be human!

    • Rohini

      08.03.2017 at 18:37 Reply

      Yes, it is a journey being human. 🙂 Thank you so much for sharing your experience and learnings here Jules! It is good to know that it is all normal and nothing needs to be changed. We can simply at some point be amused at ourselves for taking ourselves so seriously. 🙂

  • David Morgan

    07.03.2017 at 05:35 Reply

    Enjoyed reading this, it all opened my mind and I could relate it all to me. ….. ((how did you know ? 🙂 )

    My challenge is to escape from my self centered “ego trips, easier said than done I’m sure. Particularly as I’ve not regularly thought me to be conceited.
    You’ll notice that yI did say ‘regularly’ because I can have both arrogance and insecurities at different times. Ah! they could be concurrent, using arrogance to mask insecurity !

    Much to think and I hope keep in mind ….. simply try to be just me all the time.

    Thank you, a lesson here for me. I doubt that Wyn will notice a difference !!!

    Stay happy, Dave.

    • Rohini

      08.03.2017 at 18:34 Reply

      Thanks so much for your comment Dave! It is the journey that we are all on. What has helped me is to use my feelings as the compass to let me know when I am caught up in ego driven thought patterns. That helps me to remember what is happening so I can know that I am not seeing clearly and have more of an opportunity to take my thinking less seriously. Being just you is perfect!

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