I was moved by a comment left on my blog last week by Maria Ginnerup, “Showing others how to take their masks off by taking off your own, is maybe not sexy, but it’s an act of love.” Genuineness is important to me. Authenticity feels like the intersection of humanity and divinity where the two are one.
Working as a therapist and a coach, I am struck by how often the clients I work with present as high functioning and together in the world despite the inner and outer challenges they are experiencing. In their perception, there is no room for imperfections or challenges to be seen by others. This puts so much pressure and stress on them to always look like they have it together and to have things figured out.
There is a cultural conditioning that we need to look good all the time, whether that be on the physical, mental, or the emotional level. We are afraid of being judged for any mis-step we make. Judged as bad and not good for being: ____________ fill in the blank. But who is really doing the judging? If what we feel is our own thinking, we can’t be feeling any judgment from others. We can only be feeling the judgments we are holding against ourselves. As usual, the change must start within.
Can there be an inner revolution that has us not listen to our judgmental thinking? Every week when I post, I have to ignore the flurry of thoughts that tell me to shut up and cover up rather than expose myself and my musings.
Who wants to join in and be seen in the magnificence of your unadulterated self? What expression is not being shared because of the tyranny of your self-judgments? Are you willing to take one small or large step in the direction of freeing yourself from believing the illusion of your ego’s made up limitations? Will you share here or elsewhere the beauty of your true nature, whatever that means to you?
I am doing my best to slip through the cracks of my conditioned thinking and experience freedom from my self-condemnation. Do you want to join me, as Rumi says:
Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I’ll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase “each other” doesn’t make any sense.
It is important to free myself from my internal oppressor and not let my own distorted thinking shame me into silence because it is the start of the inner revolution of love. By choosing not to identify with my fearful thoughts, I connect with the infinite wellbeing of love that exists inside of me.
In this experience, there is nothing that can make me feel better or worse — good and bad don’t exist at the level of the true self. From this consciousness, there is no reason to withhold or be selfish on any level.
This is my learning, to experience the truth of this more often so my actions are aligned with this experiential knowing. Too often my behavior is driven by perceived lack and insecurity — I need to do more, be more, have more in order to feel secure.
Isn’t this the challenge of the world in a microcosm?
Nations aren’t safe so they need to hurt others to be protected. Ethnic groups are threatened by the different beliefs of other ethnic groups. Religious leaders can’t let others think differently because there is only one right way. It is not possible to distribute the abundance that exists because someone will have less. We have to accumulate as much as possible so we don’t go without. It is justified to steal, bribe, hoard, and kill to assure safety. It is endless what can be justified in the name of feeling secure.
However, if security and wellbeing are innate experiences that come from within, what are we doing? What is the difference between me trying to prove my value and worth to ensure I am worthy and terrorists bombing to ensure their voices are being heard? Yes, there is a difference in scale and impact, but the faulty logic behind it is the same.
The solution is our inner realization that the source of well being lies within. It can’t be created externally, and it can’t be taken away externally. We can only do it to ourselves.
How do we support ourselves with anchoring this understanding, and how do we help others with seeing what is true. The only way I can imagine is through love. I am starting with myself and sharing my love with you. How do you want to pay it forward in the revolution of love?
Love is an inner state
We all seek.
And most look for out there.
Love is an inner state
Invisible to the eye.
And made real through the heart.
Love is an inner state
Powerful enough
For us to lose our separate self,
And wake up to the oneness of all things.
Love is an inner state
We can choose.
Or
We can ignore.
The choice, however,
Has already been made.
How long will it take
For us to wake up
To love?
That is the only question.
Chip Chipman – The Simplicity of Syd’s Teachings
Spiritual Facts 
Christine Heath & Judy Sedgeman – Spirituality and Resilience
Rohini Ross
Are you self-critical, hard on yourself, and constantly trying to “fix” whatever you think is wrong with you? Perhaps you have tried all kinds of different personal growth techniques and spiritual practices in the hope of solving all your problems. This cycle can be exhausting and never-ending, because there will always be something to improve about yourself, from that mindset. Sydney Banks’ teachings can help you to see how your humanness is normal and not something that needs fixing: as a spiritual person, you don’t need to change or eradicate your humanness! Seeing yourself as normal allows you to love and accept yourself exactly as you are—warts and all. Adopting this perspective naturally brings out the best in you and helps to find peace with your personality. Self-love and self-acceptance is your natural state, and any disconnection from your true nature is only temporary. What a relief!
In our culture, success is often associated with hard work and narrowly defined as material gain. However, authentic success, as shared by Sydney Banks, includes such intangibles as happiness, well-being, love, joy, compassion, and peace of mind that are innate in each one of us, along with outward goals and achievements. It honors the whole person in all walks of life, whether you are a professional, leader, executive, solopreneur, employee, mother, teacher or student. From this knowing and experience, you can access the infinite wellspring of love that is your essence, then share your gifts with the world from a place of fulfillment and meaning, through a profound understanding of the interaction between your psychological and spiritual natures. While conventional success can deplete you, authentic success only fills you up.
Your ability to enjoy life comes from being present in the moment rather than caught up in habitual, negative thoughts that take you out of the Now. Sydney Banks’ wisdom supports you in becoming aware of how you get seduced by your limited personal thinking and thus, create a painful reality of misunderstanding, fear and restriction. When you recognize how and why this happens, you can step free of the pattern. This understanding assists you to dismiss unhelpful thoughts and not take them seriously. Unlike traditional self-help or therapy, experiencing more psychological freedom and enjoyment does not rely on techniques. There are no magic bullets on the path of well-being. All you need to do is follow an internal compass that points to the truth of who you really are—beyond transient thoughts to your unchanging, formless essence.
Greater psychological freedom is the gift that keeps on giving. How grateful would you feel if you no longer had to listen to your negative, self-punishing and painful inner narrative, day in and day out? Understanding the role of thought and recognizing how it creates your feelings of insecurity and self-doubt is truly liberating! You will be better able to hear and heed your inner wisdom and become less driven by the noisy thoughts of fear and constriction. As an ongoing practice, this allows you to more fully experience your resilience and reach a greater sense of clarity about how you want to move forward in your life. As a result, you can live in a way that feels authentic and true in every area, including your career, family, home, creative expression, play, relationships and overall well-being.
When you no longer give authority to the fear-based thoughts in your consciousness, all you are left with is happiness. Through the teachings of Sydney Banks, you can see how your psychological functioning works, which makes you less compelled to follow those thoughts that do not serve you. Becoming more aware of the wholeness and integration of both your human and spiritual natures helps to ground you in the unchanging essence of who you are, and ride out the ups and downs of your emotional experience more gracefully. Accepting the normalcy of your humanness will naturally reduce your anxiety and fear and enhance your joy and happiness in each moment. By placing less pressure on yourself to feel a certain way or be hung up on self-improvement, you may find that low moods do not derail or debilitate you; instead, you will become much more attuned to your innate wellbeing and peace of mind and experience more happiness as a result.
One of the first areas people often experience profound transformation from the teachings of Sydney Banks is in their relationships, both personal and professional. While it often seems like another person’s irritation, anger, indifference, insensitivity, rudeness, etc., directly affects your experience, in reality your disturbance is a product of your own individual thinking. By making someone else responsible for how you feel, that person automatically becomes the cause of your suffering. Once you understand that you always have a place of well-being inside, independent of another’s behavior, it is easier to maintain equanimity through their changing moods and behaviors. Romantically, you may experience deeper love and intimacy with your partner, but the teachings benefit all relationships. This awareness supports more authentic connection and expression, while facilitating greater understanding, improved communication, reduced reactivity, more acceptance of self and others, and improved ability to work out differences and find common ground. Best of all, just one person shifting in a relationship is enough to transform it.
Clare Dimond
Scott Kelly
Barbara Patterson
Barbara Patterson
Michael Neill
Dicken Bettinger – The Spiritual Nature of the teachings of Sydney Banks
Elsie Spittle – The Soul of the Principles
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