Working as a therapist and a coach, I am struck by how often the clients I work with present as high functioning and together in the world despite the inner and outer challenges they are experiencing. In their perception, there is no room for imperfections or challenges to be seen by others. This puts so much pressure and stress on them to always look like they have it together and to have things figured out. 

There is a cultural conditioning that we need to look good all the time, whether that be on the physical, mental, or the emotional level. We are afraid of being judged for any mis-step we make. Judged as bad and not good for being: ____________ fill in the blank. But who is really doing the judging? If what we feel is our own thinking, we can’t be feeling any judgment from others. We can only be feeling the judgments we are holding against ourselves. As usual, the change must start within.

Can there be an inner revolution that has us not listen to our judgmental thinking? Every week when I post, I have to ignore the flurry of thoughts that tell me to shut up and cover up rather than expose myself and my musings.

I am doing my best to slip through the cracks of my conditioned thinking and experience freedom from my self-condemnation. Do you want to join me, as Rumi says:

It is important to free myself from my internal oppressor and not let my own distorted thinking shame me into silence because it is the start of the inner revolution of love. By choosing not to identify with my fearful thoughts, I connect with the infinite wellbeing of love that exists inside of me.

In this experience, there is nothing that can make me feel better or worse — good and bad don’t exist at the level of the true self. From this consciousness, there is no reason to withhold or be selfish on any level.

This is my learning, to experience the truth of this more often so my actions are aligned with this experiential knowing. Too often my behavior is driven by perceived lack and insecurity — I need to do more, be more, have more in order to feel secure.

Isn’t this the challenge of the world in a microcosm?

Nations aren’t safe so they need to hurt others to be protected. Ethnic groups are threatened by the different beliefs of other ethnic groups. Religious leaders can’t let others think differently because there is only one right way. It is not possible to distribute the abundance that exists because someone will have less. We have to accumulate as much as possible so we don’t go without. It is justified to steal, bribe, hoard, and kill to assure safety. It is endless what can be justified in the name of feeling secure.

However, if security and wellbeing are innate experiences that come from within, what are we doing? What is the difference between me trying to prove my value and worth to ensure I am worthy and terrorists bombing to ensure their voices are being heard? Yes, there is a difference in scale and impact, but the faulty logic behind it is the same.

The solution is our inner realization that the source of well being lies within. It can’t be created externally, and it can’t be taken away externally. We can only do it to ourselves.

How do we support ourselves with anchoring this understanding, and how do we help others with seeing what is true. The only way I can imagine is through love. I am starting with myself and sharing my love with you. How do you want to pay it forward in the revolution of love?