Laughter, Tears and Gratitude: Tis better to have loved and lost, Than never to have loved at all | Rohini Ross
Laughter, Tears and Gratitude: Tis better to have loved and lost, Than never to have loved at all

Laughter, Tears and Gratitude: Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all

Bella came to us through serendipity. Our family, consisting of Angus, our two daughters of nine and six, and myself, had discussed getting a dog, but I had two requirements. I wanted a hypoallergenic dog, and I wanted a rescue dog. With these requirements in place, getting a dog seemed near impossible. Or so I thought.


I will never cease to be amazed at the power of intention for setting things in motion to show up in life. I remember one time when Angus got behind in his photographic business expenses, and he had a seventeen thousand dollar bill to pay when his accounts receivable was nothing close to that. He told me he would take care of it. I was skeptical. Then, out of the blue, his friend called him and told him that the product company Angus worked for was running a television commercial in the UK using seventeen of his photographs and wanted to know if he knew. It turned out they had used Angus’s images without permission. He negotiated payment with them and charged $1000 an image. That took care of his photographic bills that month.


So I shouldn’t be surprised when the family has an intention to find a hypoallergenic rescue dog and one shows up. We had already recently manifested a cat a few weeks earlier. From nowhere a cat started living under our house. The girls and I would give him food, but he was feral and would not let us touch him. I wanted to rescue the cat, but Angus was not interested in this. I love cats — Angus not so much, Over time, however, he could see the girls and I growing fonder of and more attached to the cat. So in a magnanimous gesture he thought would yield no results, he told me if I could get the cat in the house, we could keep it. Ten minutes later he found himself alone in the house with a crazed feline jumping six feet in the air trying to escape, while yowling at the top of his lungs. I had picked the cat up and dropped him in the house as quickly as possible shutting the door, leaving Angus alone with the beast. But, it only took Twilight a couple of weeks to settle in and adjust to being a neutered house cat. As you can see we have loved the feral out of him.



A few weeks after we managed to tame the tiger, I was going to meet with clients in Santa Barbara. Angus and I decided to turn it into a family trip and visit friends in Montecito. We thought it would be a fun overnight outing for the girls since they hadn’t been to Santa Barbara before. When we got there, I met our friends two beautiful standard poodles. It was love at first sight. My delight in them was obvious. After the girls went to bed that night, our friends asked me if I would like a poodle. They explained that their friend who breeds standard poodles had not been able to sell all of the puppies from her last litter and was now looking for homes for them. This was close enough to a rescue for me. I looked at Angus to see what his reaction was.


Angus could see how happy I was at the idea of having a poodle puppy, and I am sure he imagined how thrilled the girls would be to have a puppy too. So against his better judgment, he said yes.


I was ecstatic. I met my clients and then rushed back to go meet the puppies. We told the girls when we were on our way over there, and to our surprise they were skeptical. They seemed to think it was a trick. I don’t see Angus and myself as parents who would ever be that mean, but perhaps this video explains their lack of trust.



When we arrived Bella was the only female puppy. She was the most shy and didn’t rush over to us, but I felt her sweetness and fell in love with her. We scooped her up and went to eat ice cream before driving back to LA. While enjoying the sweet treats we brainstormed names out loud and Bella stuck.


Bella was welcomed by Twilight into our home. They became fast friends:



Unfortunately, Bella always had the bad habit of eating the girls’ underwear and socks. Usually she would just chew them, but sometimes she would swallow them whole. We would do our absolute best to keep them out of reach, but she was quite sneaky at times. When this happened as a puppy, she would poop everywhere. Sometimes this would happen when she was in her crate, and she would get covered in it. Angus was usually the person who dealt with this hands on, and it did get him down. That is why he said it was against his better judgment to get her. The pooping was such a trigger for him that one year the girls covered a banana in peanut butter and left it in Bella’s crate on April Fool’s day. He fell right for it. This sent them into peals of laughter to have suckered their dad for once.


As much as Angus would get frustrated with Bella’s bad habits, I could not get mad at her. She was so loving, gentle, and kind at all times even if she had a naughty streak. Bella hiked with me hundreds of miles on the Topanga trails. She was a loyal companion that loved to be in nature. She was especially thrilled when she would find tennis balls on our hikes. She loved to carry them home with her to add to her trophy pile. She was extremely affectionate and loved the entire family, but it was to me she was most attached. Angus would be the one to let her and Twilight out in the mornings, and he said Bella would ignore him and rush past him to see me in the bedroom.


Unfortunately, it was Bella’s sock fetish that got the best of her. She was not able to survive the complications related to the surgical removal of a sock she had eaten. She was loving and sweet until the very end. She will be in our hearts forever, and I am so grateful for all the love, joy and fun we shared over the years. My heart is heavy but also full.


I am also grateful for the understanding of the principles during this time. Even though this is one of those experiences that looks like I am 100% feeling my circumstances. I know this is not true. I am feeling my thoughts, and they are divinely guided by an intelligence greater than me. I can simply trust in the flow of my thinking and feel all of my emotions.


What the principles has helped me with is to embrace my humanness and to not be afraid of my feelings. I know the nature of thought is fluid and transitory. I can feel deep sadness one minute and then be laughing and full of joy in another. I do not have to figure my grieving out or know what to do. The divine intelligence behind life is holding me and guiding me through this real time. My healing is not up to me.


Even in the pain of loss there is inner comfort. Even in the midst of intense feelings there is also inner peace. In my rawness, I perhaps feel more clearly the intersection and connection of my humanness and my divinity. I am grateful for both.


Rohini Ross is passionate about helping people wake up to their true nature. She is a psychotherapist, a transformative coach, and author of Marriage (The Soul-Centered Series Book 1). She has an international coaching practice helping individuals, couples, and professionals embrace all of who they are so they can experience greater levels of wellbeing, resiliency, and success. You can follow Rohini on FacebookTwitter, and Instagram, watch her Vlogs with her husband, Angus Ross, and subscribe to her weekly blog on her website, She has an upcoming program The Solopreneur Leap co-facilitated with Barb Patterson starting January 15th, 2018.


  • Terry Runyan

    20.11.2017 at 05:03 Reply


    • Rohini

      20.11.2017 at 14:21 Reply

      Thank you Terry! <3

  • Ana

    20.11.2017 at 06:33 Reply

    Awh Rohini, beautifully written. I am so so sorry for your loss. My heart and love goes to you and the entire family. Love you

    • Rohini

      20.11.2017 at 07:50 Reply

      Thanks Ana!<3

  • Lyn Canale

    20.11.2017 at 10:27 Reply

    I am so sorry for your loss Rohini. Your beautiful memories of Bella will be everlasting. Sending love and warm hugs to you and your family.

    • Rohini

      20.11.2017 at 14:21 Reply

      Thank you Lyn! Appreciate the love and hugs!

  • Beth Budgen

    20.11.2017 at 10:44 Reply

    So sorry to hear that Bella didn’t make it Rohini. I hope that the wonderful memories will soon be at the forefront. Kisses Beth x

    • Rohini

      20.11.2017 at 14:20 Reply

      Thank you so much Beth! <3

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