Wake Up to Your Well Being and Share Your Love
I am at the airport incredibly early now that I have embraced my husband’s caution regarding missing flights. I would have still made the flight if there had been an earthquake in London. However, since I am traveling alone, this gives me plenty of time to reflect on the amazing three-day workshop I just finished co-facilitating.
The workshop was amazing because of the incredible participants. The level of openness, willingness, authenticity, vulnerability, honesty, and courage they demonstrated was deeply inspiring. I feel grateful to have witnessed the transformation and learning that each person demonstrated and shared. The depth of the love present in the room on Sunday made my heart feel full.
As we spent time together as a group, our humanity came to the fore. Differences in age, gender, sexual orientation, ethnicity, and socio-economic bracket receded to the background as we came into one accord.
It is an interesting paradox to me how the more I accept my humanness exactly as I am, warts and all, the more connected I feel with my divinity and my connection with all things.
The ability of the group to get to this state of quiet mind was no small feat given that we started the workshop on the day the British referendum results were revealed, with the vote going in favor of Britain leaving the European Union. I am not going into political commentary here, but I do recommend reading the article “I Want My Country Back“ by Laurie Penny.
Most members of the group were openly stunned by the results and some were deeply distressed. Our teaching point for that day was that our experience comes from thought and not outside circumstances. Fortunately, for all concerned, there was enough truth in this statement for it to be taken on board, and the impact of the implications of this were transformative over the next two days.
What I am always struck by is how a simple understanding of how our psychological functioning works as outlined in the teachings of Sydney Banks, supports a quietening of the mind and results in dramatic interpersonal and intra-personal shifts. There is such simplicity in the teaching that it appears as if change magically happens.
I recognize there is an element of mystery involved, but the shifts that occur are also a reflection of the relaxation and letting go that naturally happens when we see how our striving and efforts are not supporting us. As we relax, our personal thinking naturally quiets down, and we are better able to experience our true nature — the formless essence of who we are. I know I am experiencing this when my heart feels open, and when I feel tremendous love. I am not referring to a personal love, but rather a love for everyone and everything.That is what I experienced with the group.
Why on earth don’t we spend more time feeling this way if it is natural and we don’t need to do anything to get there?
We forget how to get home inside of ourselves. We think we have to do something to be okay, or we need to have something to be okay. When our well being looks like it exists outside of us, and we need to get it or create it, we put enormous energy into trying to make ourselves feel good. However, the energy expended is what keeps our thinking unsettled and maintains our internal destabilization. It is exhausting. Many of us mistakenly believe that means there is something wrong with us, and we need to try harder.
However, when we look in the opposite direction, we experience that well being comes from inside of us. That is a moment of awakening. We wake up to a state of consciousness available inside each one of us that is our natural state. We do not have to work at getting there or earn it in anyway. It does not take any skill to experience it. It is as natural as our next breath. And just like our breath, we can use free will to delay taking it, but how long are we willing to deny ourselves the natural experience of breathing? How much are we willing to suffer before letting go?
Experiencing this state of mind is not a narcissistic pursuit of pleasure. Although, I will admit, having a quiet mind, an open heart, and a deep connection with the loving quality of my formless nature is intensely pleasurable, but this is only the beginning. When I am willing to share, be of service, and live from this state of consciousness, that is when the fun begins, and I receive so much more than I can ever give.
I am not in this state of consciousness all of the time, but I experience it more often than I did. And when I am in it, I show up as a better wife, mother, coach, therapist, teacher, writer, and human. I believe that more people experiencing their true nature more often, and living their lives from this state of mind is the the solution to the problems we are struggling with at this time.
By more humans connecting with the infinite, creative potential of their formless nature, they will be better at what they do, not matter what it is, and we will have the ability to resolve problems in cooperation with one another.
How can we hate another when our heart is open? How can we give up on resolving conflict when our mind recognizes the infinite possibilities? How can we not share resources when we feel compassion? How can we harbor resentment when we see that each one of us is doing the best we can with the understanding we have? How can we place profit over human beings when we know the real riches come from inside?
I ask you to consider these questions, and to look in the direction of your inner well being so you can be filled up with your loving nature and be compelled and propelled to share that love.
I don’t want to make America great. I want to make the world great, by each one of us experiencing the authentic greatness of the love we have inside. May we all share that love in fun, creative, life affirming and life sustaining ways.
Christine Heath & Judy Sedgeman – Spirituality and Resilience
When you no longer give authority to the fear-based thoughts in your consciousness, all you are left with is happiness. Through the teachings of Sydney Banks, you can see how your psychological functioning works, which makes you less compelled to follow those thoughts that do not serve you. Becoming more aware of the wholeness and integration of both your human and spiritual natures helps to ground you in the unchanging essence of who you are, and ride out the ups and downs of your emotional experience more gracefully. Accepting the normalcy of your humanness will naturally reduce your anxiety and fear and enhance your joy and happiness in each moment. By placing less pressure on yourself to feel a certain way or be hung up on self-improvement, you may find that low moods do not derail or debilitate you; instead, you will become much more attuned to your innate wellbeing and peace of mind and experience more happiness as a result.
Greater psychological freedom is the gift that keeps on giving. How grateful would you feel if you no longer had to listen to your negative, self-punishing and painful inner narrative, day in and day out? Understanding the role of thought and recognizing how it creates your feelings of insecurity and self-doubt is truly liberating! You will be better able to hear and heed your inner wisdom and become less driven by the noisy thoughts of fear and constriction. As an ongoing practice, this allows you to more fully experience your resilience and reach a greater sense of clarity about how you want to move forward in your life. As a result, you can live in a way that feels authentic and true in every area, including your career, family, home, creative expression, play, relationships and overall well-being.
Your ability to enjoy life comes from being present in the moment rather than caught up in habitual, negative thoughts that take you out of the Now. Sydney Banks’ wisdom supports you in becoming aware of how you get seduced by your limited personal thinking and thus, create a painful reality of misunderstanding, fear and restriction. When you recognize how and why this happens, you can step free of the pattern. This understanding assists you to dismiss unhelpful thoughts and not take them seriously. Unlike traditional self-help or therapy, experiencing more psychological freedom and enjoyment does not rely on techniques. There are no magic bullets on the path of well-being. All you need to do is follow an internal compass that points to the truth of who you really are—beyond transient thoughts to your unchanging, formless essence.
In our culture, success is often associated with hard work and narrowly defined as material gain. However, authentic success, as shared by Sydney Banks, includes such intangibles as happiness, well-being, love, joy, compassion, and peace of mind that are innate in each one of us, along with outward goals and achievements. It honors the whole person in all walks of life, whether you are a professional, leader, executive, solopreneur, employee, mother, teacher or student. From this knowing and experience, you can access the infinite wellspring of love that is your essence, then share your gifts with the world from a place of fulfillment and meaning, through a profound understanding of the interaction between your psychological and spiritual natures. While conventional success can deplete you, authentic success only fills you up.
Are you self-critical, hard on yourself, and constantly trying to “fix” whatever you think is wrong with you? Perhaps you have tried all kinds of different personal growth techniques and spiritual practices in the hope of solving all your problems. This cycle can be exhausting and never-ending, because there will always be something to improve about yourself, from that mindset. Sydney Banks’ teachings can help you to see how your humanness is normal and not something that needs fixing: as a spiritual person, you don’t need to change or eradicate your humanness! Seeing yourself as normal allows you to love and accept yourself exactly as you are—warts and all. Adopting this perspective naturally brings out the best in you and helps to find peace with your personality. Self-love and self-acceptance is your natural state, and any disconnection from your true nature is only temporary. What a relief!
One of the first areas people often experience profound transformation from the teachings of Sydney Banks is in their relationships, both personal and professional. While it often seems like another person’s irritation, anger, indifference, insensitivity, rudeness, etc., directly affects your experience, in reality your disturbance is a product of your own individual thinking. By making someone else responsible for how you feel, that person automatically becomes the cause of your suffering. Once you understand that you always have a place of well-being inside, independent of another’s behavior, it is easier to maintain equanimity through their changing moods and behaviors. Romantically, you may experience deeper love and intimacy with your partner, but the teachings benefit all relationships. This awareness supports more authentic connection and expression, while facilitating greater understanding, improved communication, reduced reactivity, more acceptance of self and others, and improved ability to work out differences and find common ground. Best of all, just one person shifting in a relationship is enough to transform it.
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