Perfection Is Not in The Eye of the Beholder — It Is Our True Nature
I received a comment on my post, “You Are Not a Fixer Upper — You Are Perfect Exactly as You Are!”, that made me want to clarify my philosophical position. Here is the comment:
For the good, well-intentioned people of this world, … it’s true, they are perfect exactly as they are. But this isn’t true of people who consciously do harm to others, like the guy who storms into the Planned Parenthood office with guns blazing, or the black masked ISIS guy who’s in charge of beheading people. I’m sorry, they aren’t perfect exactly as they are.
I do not condone any act of violence. I am not against consequences for choices people make, and I am not saying that everyone’s behavior is perfect. I do, however, make a distinction between the behavior of humans and their innate worth and value. Human behavior is often far from perfect and the imperfections can range from heinous crimes to more trivial failings. However, no matter where our behavior falls on this continuum, it doesn’t make one jot of difference to our true nature and the essence of who we are.
Rather than our behavior making us good or bad, our actions reflect our best understanding in any given moment. There are no inherently good people or bad people. And that is what I meant when I said, “you are not a fixer upper”. I really did mean that we are good enough exactly as we are independent of our behavior and circumstances. No one is any better than another person because of how they behave, and no one is any less than another because what they have done.
This became abundantly clear to me the first time I spent the weekend in prison as a volunteer for the Freedom to Choose Foundation. When I listened to the inmates lives and heard about the crimes they committed, I could see how their actions made sense to them at the time based on their distorted thinking. Their behavior matched how they saw the situation and the world in that moment. That doesn’t mean that they didn’t have remorse or regret afterwards, but at the time of the act that awareness was not available to them. I realized from hearing their stories that given the same circumstances and the same level of understanding I was capable of the same acts. I experienced the impact of the statement, “There but for the grace of God go I.”
The men experienced profound healing as they participated in the educational process. They were related to without judgment. They were communicated with human to human, and as the program unfolded it became clear — we are all the same. There is no better than. There is no worthy or unworthy. There are simply humans doing the best we can with the level of understanding we have.
We all have innate value independent of our behavior. Committing a crime does not reduce our value, but not knowing that makes us more likely to commit a crime. Our behavior does not define us. Our circumstances do not define us. Just as: I am Paris. I am Muslim. I am love. Also: I am terrorist. I am racist. I am murderer. As the Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn so astutely stated in his book The Gulag Archipelago:
“If only it were all so simple! If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?”
Rather than destroying any part of our hearts, my position is that through each one of us connecting more deeply with the natural state of who we are and experiencing the perfection of our formless nature, we are then better able to bring greater peace, love, and compassion to the planet. It is through recognizing and experiencing our innate wholeness that we can bring love to the pain and suffering in the world and find solutions to the challenges that confront us.
When we see through the eyes of compassion we recognize that no one is born a terrorist. No one is created as a murderer. No one is designed to be violent. We see that the unjust behaviors are rooted in fear, pain, and suffering. Our opportunity is to not add to the suffering with our own judgments and fear, but to gain altitude and walk in the footsteps of Ghandi, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King Jr, Malala Yousafzai, and the many other peacemakers who act from the wisdom in their hearts to make the world a better place.
Even though my behavior falls short from perfection, I am worthy. Even though other people’s behavior falls short from perfection, they are worthy, and it is meeting on this common ground that we can bridge the differences and overcome the fears that fuel the seeds of evil thoughts in each one of us. Let us all meet in Rumi’s field:
Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I’ll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase “each other” doesn’t make any sense.
Wishing you blessings of love, peace, joy, and abundance this Holiday Season! Looking forward to sharing more with you in the New Year!
With loving,
Rohini

Christine Heath & Judy Sedgeman – Spirituality and Resilience
When you no longer give authority to the fear-based thoughts in your consciousness, all you are left with is happiness. Through the teachings of Sydney Banks, you can see how your psychological functioning works, which makes you less compelled to follow those thoughts that do not serve you. Becoming more aware of the wholeness and integration of both your human and spiritual natures helps to ground you in the unchanging essence of who you are, and ride out the ups and downs of your emotional experience more gracefully. Accepting the normalcy of your humanness will naturally reduce your anxiety and fear and enhance your joy and happiness in each moment. By placing less pressure on yourself to feel a certain way or be hung up on self-improvement, you may find that low moods do not derail or debilitate you; instead, you will become much more attuned to your innate wellbeing and peace of mind and experience more happiness as a result.
Greater psychological freedom is the gift that keeps on giving. How grateful would you feel if you no longer had to listen to your negative, self-punishing and painful inner narrative, day in and day out? Understanding the role of thought and recognizing how it creates your feelings of insecurity and self-doubt is truly liberating! You will be better able to hear and heed your inner wisdom and become less driven by the noisy thoughts of fear and constriction. As an ongoing practice, this allows you to more fully experience your resilience and reach a greater sense of clarity about how you want to move forward in your life. As a result, you can live in a way that feels authentic and true in every area, including your career, family, home, creative expression, play, relationships and overall well-being.
Your ability to enjoy life comes from being present in the moment rather than caught up in habitual, negative thoughts that take you out of the Now. Sydney Banks’ wisdom supports you in becoming aware of how you get seduced by your limited personal thinking and thus, create a painful reality of misunderstanding, fear and restriction. When you recognize how and why this happens, you can step free of the pattern. This understanding assists you to dismiss unhelpful thoughts and not take them seriously. Unlike traditional self-help or therapy, experiencing more psychological freedom and enjoyment does not rely on techniques. There are no magic bullets on the path of well-being. All you need to do is follow an internal compass that points to the truth of who you really are—beyond transient thoughts to your unchanging, formless essence.
In our culture, success is often associated with hard work and narrowly defined as material gain. However, authentic success, as shared by Sydney Banks, includes such intangibles as happiness, well-being, love, joy, compassion, and peace of mind that are innate in each one of us, along with outward goals and achievements. It honors the whole person in all walks of life, whether you are a professional, leader, executive, solopreneur, employee, mother, teacher or student. From this knowing and experience, you can access the infinite wellspring of love that is your essence, then share your gifts with the world from a place of fulfillment and meaning, through a profound understanding of the interaction between your psychological and spiritual natures. While conventional success can deplete you, authentic success only fills you up.
Are you self-critical, hard on yourself, and constantly trying to “fix” whatever you think is wrong with you? Perhaps you have tried all kinds of different personal growth techniques and spiritual practices in the hope of solving all your problems. This cycle can be exhausting and never-ending, because there will always be something to improve about yourself, from that mindset. Sydney Banks’ teachings can help you to see how your humanness is normal and not something that needs fixing: as a spiritual person, you don’t need to change or eradicate your humanness! Seeing yourself as normal allows you to love and accept yourself exactly as you are—warts and all. Adopting this perspective naturally brings out the best in you and helps to find peace with your personality. Self-love and self-acceptance is your natural state, and any disconnection from your true nature is only temporary. What a relief!
One of the first areas people often experience profound transformation from the teachings of Sydney Banks is in their relationships, both personal and professional. While it often seems like another person’s irritation, anger, indifference, insensitivity, rudeness, etc., directly affects your experience, in reality your disturbance is a product of your own individual thinking. By making someone else responsible for how you feel, that person automatically becomes the cause of your suffering. Once you understand that you always have a place of well-being inside, independent of another’s behavior, it is easier to maintain equanimity through their changing moods and behaviors. Romantically, you may experience deeper love and intimacy with your partner, but the teachings benefit all relationships. This awareness supports more authentic connection and expression, while facilitating greater understanding, improved communication, reduced reactivity, more acceptance of self and others, and improved ability to work out differences and find common ground. Best of all, just one person shifting in a relationship is enough to transform it.
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