Service as a Path to Freedom
“It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life, that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
I spent the weekend at the Valley State Prison for men. The focus of this service learning opportunity with the Freedom to Choose Project was to help the men see how they can experience greater inner freedom independent of their circumstances. One of the many things I love about the workshop is the even playing field. There were over eighty volunteers who took part in the workshop with the two hundred and fifty men, and we were participants just like the men in blue. We did all of the exercises and processes with them. It was profoundly healing and moving to come together human to human and experience the oneness. The men were so grateful that we were able to see beyond their uniforms to who they are.
It is an important reminder for me to see how easy it is for me to be in acceptance and see the essence of another human being during these weekends. It is effortless to drop judgmental thoughts when my intention to be of service is so clear. Yet, at other times, it is easy for me to get sucked into the mire of my disparaging inner commentary about myself and others over trivial matters. It is encouraging for me to see the impact of my intention to be of service on dissolving my judgments, and to recognize that I do not need to limit my dismissal of my judgmental thoughts to when I am within prison walls. I see that a service consciousness is actually a natural way to approach life. It does not require effort to be free of judgment. It actually involves effort to be in judgment whether it is directed towards myself or someone else.
How fitting that it is through me spending time with men who are finding their inner freedom while incarcerated that I wake up more fully to the effort I put into locking myself up. The invisible layers of judgmental thought become more visible to me when I am in service. The men often ask why I come. They struggle to understand that I get so much out of the experience, but as Gandhi once responded regarding his work in an Indian village, “I am here to serve no one else but myself, to find my own self-realization through the service to these village folks.” I am grateful for the kindness, generosity and understanding of the men in blue and for their helping me to see how I can experience more freedom.
What is so powerful about a service consciousness is I stop thinking about me. When I see the profound impact this has on my ability to experience wellbeing, I wonder what is there to lose by not thinking about myself? What if enjoyment and success in life do not require self-focus or even self-awareness? What if my self-observation and evaluation just get in the way of me experiencing my true nature?
This is not about right or wrong. I am simply recognizing that freedom feels good and is the result of me forgetting about myself. Whereas limitation feels bad, is self-imposed, requires efforts, and results from me being focused on myself.
This awareness does not mean I will never be selfish or self-absorbed again, but I am definitely on the learning curve of recognizing “I” don’t matter. “I” don’t even exist unless I make the idea of myself up in the moment, and I have the capacity to experience the freedom of being in the flow without having myself on my mind. It is less effort for me to forget about myself than to be in some level of self-awareness and self-concern.
Who knew the difference between limitation and freedom is having me on my mind, and I am the only one bringing my self-conscious thoughts alive. Seeing this is enough for me to learn and grow. When understanding changes, so does behavior. The part of me that sees this is always there for me. It is my true nature, and it will never let me down.
All of life can be used in service to our awakening. It does not have to be limited to one weekend or a specific environment. What do you see as your opportunity for greater freedom? Is there a way you would like to be of service and get the bonus of forgetting about you so you can experience more of your Self?
Rohini Ross is passionate about helping people wake up to their true nature. She is a psychotherapist, a transformative coach, and author of Marriage (The Soul-Centered Series Book 1). She has an international coaching practice helping individuals, couples, and professionals embrace all of who they are so they can experience greater levels of wellbeing, resiliency, and success. She also co-facilitates The Space Mastermind for Solopreneurs and The Engaged Space with Barb Patterson. You can follow Rohini on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, watch her Vlogs with her husband, Angus Ross, and subscribe to her weekly blog on her website, rohiniross.com.
Christine Heath & Judy Sedgeman – Spirituality and Resilience
When you no longer give authority to the fear-based thoughts in your consciousness, all you are left with is happiness. Through the teachings of Sydney Banks, you can see how your psychological functioning works, which makes you less compelled to follow those thoughts that do not serve you. Becoming more aware of the wholeness and integration of both your human and spiritual natures helps to ground you in the unchanging essence of who you are, and ride out the ups and downs of your emotional experience more gracefully. Accepting the normalcy of your humanness will naturally reduce your anxiety and fear and enhance your joy and happiness in each moment. By placing less pressure on yourself to feel a certain way or be hung up on self-improvement, you may find that low moods do not derail or debilitate you; instead, you will become much more attuned to your innate wellbeing and peace of mind and experience more happiness as a result.
Greater psychological freedom is the gift that keeps on giving. How grateful would you feel if you no longer had to listen to your negative, self-punishing and painful inner narrative, day in and day out? Understanding the role of thought and recognizing how it creates your feelings of insecurity and self-doubt is truly liberating! You will be better able to hear and heed your inner wisdom and become less driven by the noisy thoughts of fear and constriction. As an ongoing practice, this allows you to more fully experience your resilience and reach a greater sense of clarity about how you want to move forward in your life. As a result, you can live in a way that feels authentic and true in every area, including your career, family, home, creative expression, play, relationships and overall well-being.
Your ability to enjoy life comes from being present in the moment rather than caught up in habitual, negative thoughts that take you out of the Now. Sydney Banks’ wisdom supports you in becoming aware of how you get seduced by your limited personal thinking and thus, create a painful reality of misunderstanding, fear and restriction. When you recognize how and why this happens, you can step free of the pattern. This understanding assists you to dismiss unhelpful thoughts and not take them seriously. Unlike traditional self-help or therapy, experiencing more psychological freedom and enjoyment does not rely on techniques. There are no magic bullets on the path of well-being. All you need to do is follow an internal compass that points to the truth of who you really are—beyond transient thoughts to your unchanging, formless essence.
In our culture, success is often associated with hard work and narrowly defined as material gain. However, authentic success, as shared by Sydney Banks, includes such intangibles as happiness, well-being, love, joy, compassion, and peace of mind that are innate in each one of us, along with outward goals and achievements. It honors the whole person in all walks of life, whether you are a professional, leader, executive, solopreneur, employee, mother, teacher or student. From this knowing and experience, you can access the infinite wellspring of love that is your essence, then share your gifts with the world from a place of fulfillment and meaning, through a profound understanding of the interaction between your psychological and spiritual natures. While conventional success can deplete you, authentic success only fills you up.
Are you self-critical, hard on yourself, and constantly trying to “fix” whatever you think is wrong with you? Perhaps you have tried all kinds of different personal growth techniques and spiritual practices in the hope of solving all your problems. This cycle can be exhausting and never-ending, because there will always be something to improve about yourself, from that mindset. Sydney Banks’ teachings can help you to see how your humanness is normal and not something that needs fixing: as a spiritual person, you don’t need to change or eradicate your humanness! Seeing yourself as normal allows you to love and accept yourself exactly as you are—warts and all. Adopting this perspective naturally brings out the best in you and helps to find peace with your personality. Self-love and self-acceptance is your natural state, and any disconnection from your true nature is only temporary. What a relief!
One of the first areas people often experience profound transformation from the teachings of Sydney Banks is in their relationships, both personal and professional. While it often seems like another person’s irritation, anger, indifference, insensitivity, rudeness, etc., directly affects your experience, in reality your disturbance is a product of your own individual thinking. By making someone else responsible for how you feel, that person automatically becomes the cause of your suffering. Once you understand that you always have a place of well-being inside, independent of another’s behavior, it is easier to maintain equanimity through their changing moods and behaviors. Romantically, you may experience deeper love and intimacy with your partner, but the teachings benefit all relationships. This awareness supports more authentic connection and expression, while facilitating greater understanding, improved communication, reduced reactivity, more acceptance of self and others, and improved ability to work out differences and find common ground. Best of all, just one person shifting in a relationship is enough to transform it.
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Terry Runyan
02.10.2017 at 05:58Love this Rohini! Thanks for sharing!
?Terry
Rohini
04.10.2017 at 19:22Thanks Terry!